"The first time, I found out that your mother was cheating on me was through a friend, who had seen her with another man. You were one and a half year old." He says as I take a deep breath and shut my eyes. "My first instinct was to leave her, and take you with me. She begged me to stay, and I decided to give it another chance. But she didn't want to live with a young lawyer, in the early years of his practice, inexperienced and barely paid. I was a good lawyer, and there was always food on the table, but she wanted gold and diamonds. I wanted to save for your education. She hated me, and my Vespa scooter. She wanted a car and then... I started noticing the jewelry and the expensive bags. One day, a Ford ambassador dropped her home." He says with pain in his voice, as if reliving every moment of it.
"I told her, we were done. She told me that I was at fault. I didn't fulfill her needs. She had turned to other men, not because of money, but because she wanted a child. You were conceived after two years of our marriage, and she said it was because of me. She made me believe you were not mine, and I was not biologically apt to father a kid, according to a doctor she had consulted. Instead of questioning further, I believed her. Out of embarrassment and the hurt to my manliness, I was quiet. I wanted to hate you, but you were such a smart, caring and responsible young kid. You got me a glass of water while I sat at the table crying, over your paternity. You were a little over 3 years old at that time."
"I stayed. I accepted the hell that was my home as she belittled me and my role as a male head of the household. Things kept going downhill. Until 5 years later, I couldn't take it anymore. I threatened to take you, but I would have lost the case, if I wasn't your father. She denied, knowing she could ask for more money and allowance if you were with her. I sold my parent's house to pay the money your mother demanded in the divorce settlement in one go. I wanted to lose all contact and move away. I did make a final move and saved you some money, away from her hold but I signed you away permanently. I met Kavita around that time, and we had a fling. The day I was supposed to move out of this city, I received a fax in my chamber. She was pregnant." He says, pausing as I open my eyes.
"She lied?" I asked, my voice heavy and he nodded.
"At first, I didn't believe Kavita. I doubted her, because of what Mohi had told me so many times over the past 5 years, until she forced me to get tested. I had a very high count... and... was biologically fit." He says, a little shy to use of medical terminology in front of his son.
"I had already sold the house where we lived, to pay the money instead of monthly alimony and you moved on rent. I looked for you at the house she had rented, but the landlord had told her to move out, because of her... character. I contacted her sister, to no avail. Then, it felt like she was on the run. She had realized that If I sue her for lie and take you away, she would have a lot to lose... financially, I think. She has never cared for people. I tried looking for you over the next almost 8 years, but then... I gave up." He says as I open my eyes, to look at him staring down at his hands, which I feel were folded, like I do in contemplation.
"I am not saying that I was never wrong. I was. I was wrong to believe her, and not get tested or get your paternity tested before leaving you with her. I was wrong, for not trying harder to find you. I was a loser, and I apologize but... I would like to correct my wrongs." He says looking in my eyes as I nod, unable to form words.
"You're a damn good lawyer now. I bet she regrets it."
"Dudh ka jalla chaaj bhi fook foonk kr peeta hai." He says with a shrug and then pauses.
(A person burned by hot milk, blows on even buttermilk before drinking.)
"It's hard to fool a person, whose lost his greatest wealth to a lie. I'm double cautious and I like to check the relevance and proof for every possible fact and evidence." He says as I nod.
I'm his greatest wealth.
"How's Vikram and Kavita?" I ask about his son and he smiles.
"They're fine. Vikram leaves for his PhD in veterinary medicine at a Royal vetrrinary college, UK this Wednesday. It's an honor to get in. Today, he's gone to see your sister-in-law Samayra, where her husband is posted."
(This is set in a time before THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, and Samayra and Ambar were still posted away from family.)
"She's not my sister-in-law..." I say as he shakes his head,
"I'm talking about how you and her husband are like brothers, and you call her Bhabhi, not because of Sabina." He says, as I chuckle wondering how he noticed and had me twisted.
"You ARE a damn good lawyer." I say as he nods, with a sly smile.
"She's a nice girl."
"I don't believe in the institution of marriage and... her parents would never give her hand to the son of a..." I pause and gulp my saliva, "whore." I say as he shakes his head.
"She's your mother." He says as I shake my head.
"I sometimes wish, she would have died giving birth to me or something else, before you left us. I would grow up without a mother, but... I'd be less messed up in the head." I say as he looks at me.
"I'm a really shitty son. I get this part from my mother, I feel." I say as he shakes his head.
"What happened?" he says as I look at him confused.
"What do you mean?"
"It's much more than just a bad mother?" he says as I shake my head.
"Nothing that would make any difference to you. You'll go out to your parked BMW, and drive out to your perfect home, with a perfect wife and a perfect son." I say and feel immediately guilty.
"I'm not saying this as sarcasm. I'm happy for you. You deserve it, after what you have been with... my mother... for over 10 years..." I say trying to conceal the heaviness in my voice.
"I would like to invite you to dinner, before Vikram leaves. You should get to know the family." He says as I shake my head.
"Too early, I need time to process all this." I say as he nods, ready to get up from the chair. "I already know Vikram." I add and he pauses to look back at me.
"You couldn't find me, but I found you." I say as I think of the day Samayra had came down to the station, to post bail for Vikram. I had recognized the similarity to some features, but the surname was the icing on the cake.
Two stories began that night. He was a good distraction, as plotted by the drug dealer, but I cleared him off evidence, knowing he was too much of a good boy, raised in a perfect family to do this. Then, Samayra had helped him out and I never needed to come in contact with my father.
That evening, I found my way to the fields where I used to come with my father, his memories in my head and betrayal in my heart. If he had a family in town, this property should be his. And as predicted, I met Vikram there.
"I went to your land near the power station once. He told me, he was your son and I connected the dots." I say as he looked confused. "I never told him who I was. Just that I came to the fields for the view and some solace." I say as he nods.
"According to my will, that land is yours. He has the one in Rajpuri." He is silent for a few seconds, waiting for me to have some kind of reaction and then adds. "I bought a few properties over the years, you own half of them after me. Only my house goes to Kavita." He says, as I shake my head.
"You're fit and fine, you don't need a will right now." I say, the fear of his passing away instills in my heart.
"You never know, what life has in store." He says walking out, as I sat there lost in thought.
YOU ARE READING
Her Sanctuary
General FictionSabina was disliked by her own parents, when they got a girl on the second attempt as if getting a boy was cracking UPSC, but she was loved. Just not by her biological parents and that hurt. Her sheep of a husband betrayed her and their son for mon...
