Her Sanctuary

19. Healing

Avinash POV

"One of my mom's lovers... he... he abused me as a child.... Physically..." I say opening my eyes and gulping my saliva down the throat as her mouth falls open. She puts her hand over her mouth as I close my eyes again.

"I wasn't even a teenager. I was just a few months past 10 and he... he violated me... he... he blackmailed me and... and every night he left me covered in my own blood and sometimes my own shit for almost an year." I say with my eyes still closed as her hand cups my face.

I open my eyes and look at her brown eyes filled with tears.

"Don't ask anything... I... I can't explain... It's just... It's over and..." I say as she shakes her head.

"No... No questions. Absolutely no questions. I'm here and I'm here with you and nobody can harm that little child in you anymore." She says kissing the back of my hand. I nod as she hugs me tight as I shut my eyes absorbing my tears within.

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"Hey buddy..." I say extending my hand with the mark of IV cannula and tubes pumping drugs inside me, towards Danish as he looks at me strangely.

It had been two days, since I was here and Sabina had warned me about Danish's visit.

"You caught my dad?" he says as my mouth falls open and I look up at Sabina. She wanted me to be acquainted to Danish before moving in their house, but looks like Danish had other issues.

"Danish, baby who told you this?" Sabina says kneeling to look into his eyes.

"Gina was talking to somebody... she said Avinash... this guy, put my father in jail." He said raising his finger at me.

"Oh my God, Danish baby..." Sabina said and hugged him tight looking at me. She had tears in her eyes as she shook her head in disagreement. She didn't want to tell Danish the reality of his father, but I couldn't look in her eyes and nod. This child had seen his dad hit her mom and watched him disappear from his life after he was kidnapped. He was shielded, but he had no closure.

I turned my head away to look at the hospital wall thinking of the time, I stood at his place.

"Baby, Avinash is a nice guy... and..." she says as a nurse walks in with a prescription slip..

"Mam, we need these medicines." She said handing the slip to Sabina as she nods.

"Danny, Avinash uncle has slept. Can you stay in this room, while I get this? There are policeman outside and they are  nice people. They'll keep you safe. It's on the other side of the hospital and very crowded at this time." Sabina had said talking to her son as I just looked at the hospital wall pretending to sleep. I hear the door shut as I felt someone on my side.

He placed his soft little hand on my left one as I closed my eyes shut.

"He used to hurt my mom." Danish said in a voice so low as I shut my eyes tightly.

"Did you catch him for kidnapping me?" he asks again as I still had no idea, how to respond.

"I know you're not sleeping." He says as I open my eyes and turn to look at him.

"You don't have to worry about all this. Your mom and me will take care of everything." I say as he shakes his head.

"You know how I know, he kidnapped me?" he says as I shake my head in disagreement.

"He picked me up from school and gave me to an Uncle he knew. The uncle was bad and... and when Sammy maasi rescued me... I knew he had asked naanu for money. He's a bad guy." He said as I nodded taking a moment of silence.

"Danish child, come here." I said as he takes a small step forward. "You can trust me." I say holding out my left hand, trying my best not to move my right arm as he holds my big hand with his both little ones and I lift him up placing him on my lap.

"Careful not to get your feet entangled in the wires and tubes." I say as he settles on my thighs.

"Your mom wants to protect you. She wants you to be safe." I say using my finger to slide hair away from his eyes and forehead as he looks at me, and I could feel my childhood trauma rushing up by each passing moment.

"But she doesn't know that you are a strong-strong child." I say and run my hand over his head, soothing him. "But you don't have to be. You can tell her everything you know, and she'll still love you. She'll never see you differently, just because you know something that she doesn't want to tell you. You don't have to be strong, but you have to be a child. You need to play and study and make mistakes because there are no second chances to childhood and innocence." I say as he looks at me half puzzled.

"You are strong?" He says as I smile.

"I would think so." I say as he holds my intact left bicep cupping it with both his hands.

"I want to be strong." He says as I chuckle.

"And I want to be a child." I say longingly as he laughs with his little white teeth showing as the sterile hospital room seems to brighten up with the sound of his cackle.

"You can't be a child now. You're so big." He says with eyes widening in amusement as I shrug, trying not to wince when my right shoulder hurt.

"But I can play video games... and... Carom... and..." I was saying as he frowns.

"What's carom?" he asks as my mouth opens wide.

"You haven't played carom board?" I ask as he shakes his head.

"I am learning Chess with Naanu." He says as I nod.

"Okay, let's make a deal. I'll teach you carom and to be strong and you'll teach me how to be a child." I say as he thinks for a minute and nods.

"I can do that." He says as I start telling him about what a carom board looks like and how we use talcum powder to make it frictionless as I feel my chest getting heavier. In the next moment I look down to find him sleeping over me with his eyes closed.

"Mommy's ba..." Sabina announces as I pick up an apple from the bedside table and throw it in her direction, but away enough so it doesn't hit her.

"Shhhh..." I say as she looks at Danish sleeping on me.

"How?" she whispers and I wanted to say that the trauma of having shitty fathers established a connection between us, but I just chose to shrug with one left intact shoulder.

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