Chapter Thirty Eight

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“So, do you just not like walking through doors anymore?” Harry couldn’t help but ask, when the A-level class left the room at the end of the lesson, leaving just Zayn and Harry alone together. Zayn wandered over to Harry’s desk with a small smirk on his face.

“You know me, I like to make an entrance.” Zayn shrugged to himself, as he sat on the desk, which faced Harry’s desk. Harry chuckled at Zayn’s response, before his green eyes met the chocolate pools of Zayn. They both looked at each other for a long ten minutes, before Harry looked down at his desk with a sigh. Harry ruffled up his hair and Zayn watched as the older boy started to organise a couple of pens into some sort of order. Zayn looked down and started to play with the hem of his school blazer, before he looked up at Harry with sad eyes. They needed to have some sort of talk. They were both hoping it wouldn’t turn into some kind of fight again. 

“Harry, I’m sorry I made you feel second best. But, but you have to understand that some things I can’t say, I just have to do.” Zayn spoke up, keeping his voice stern. He needed to stand up for himself. How could he be with Harry and be a pushover? Harry rubbed his temples before looking up at Zayn again.

“Do you get how this makes me feel though?” Harry quickly asked, his voice sounding strained as he looked at Zayn with honest eyes. Zayn held onto his temper, telling himself that he was going to remain calm throughout this conversation.

“Can’t you just trust me?” Zayn asked quietly, looking at Harry with pleading eyes. Harry looked at him as if he had just said the most stupid thing in the world, and in some ways, he kind of had.

“That’s like me saying let’s go skydiving without the ropes! How can I trust you when you act like this, I’m worrying, I want you safe.” Harry spoke up loudly, leaning back in his chair and looking at Zayn with a frown on his face.

“Well sometimes you just have to take a risk.” Zayn spat back truthfully, before taking in a couple of breathes, his eyes fluttering closed as he told himself to keep calm. This won’t turn into another fight, this won’t turn into another fight…

Harry was sat back in his comfy chair, biting onto his thumb as he stared out of the window that Zayn was becoming so accustomed to using. Zayn could tell that his last few words had somehow hit a few home truths. Zayn got up from the desk; he was asking a lot from Harry so early on in their relationship, he had to admit. Harry’s eyes glanced to him but glanced back, as if trying to be secretive. Zayn sighed and sat on the edge of Harry’s desk, and looked down at the curly haired man, that had captured his heart so strongly.

“Harry, I’m sorry. I know I’m asking for a lot. Trust me, I know that.” Zayn started, desperately just wanting to reach out to the older boy, even though Harry seemed as if he didn’t want to be touched at that particular moment. Harry sat with his body facing straight ahead of him, even though his green eyes were looking at Zayn’s hands.

“And I know that I am keeping a lot of things to myself so early in…this.” Zayn went on, pointing his hand inbetween the boys in a gesture to show what he meant by ‘this’.

“But, that’s just me. There’s stuff going on with me that I haven’t even told Liam, I’m just not the opening up type, and any number of blowjobs to force stuff out of me wont help that, either.” Zayn said sternly, although a smirk tugged at both of the boys’ lips.

“You can’t say it didn’t make you feel better.” Harry mumbled loudly, sending another quick glance up into Zayn’s eyes before he started to organise his desk.

“Valid point, Hazz, but you’ve got to show some understanding for me? Surely there’s stuff deep down that you don’t want to tell me?” Zayn tried again, before looking at Harry matter-of-factly. Harry frowned a little, even though he nodded that perfect head of his, making some of his curls bounce a little.

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