Fanboy Draco Malfoy Convinces Harry Potter to Marry Him!

Lying & Weapons-Severus Is Just So Proud

Harry looked curiously around the Headmaster's office. Last time he was here, he had been so upset he didn't notice all the freaky things he had.
"Sir, your bird looks like it's about to croak. Perhaps it's an omen." Harry said, looking at the old man. Dumbledore stared at him over his glasses and replied "Fawkes will be fine, my boy. Thank you for your concern." Harry wasn't really concerned about his rat with wings. He was just trying to make conversation. The Headmaster had called him into his office but didn't actually say why. So that left Harry to twiddle his thumbs. How annoying. He had been having such a wonderful conversation about different snakes with Cedric and Tonks. Looking around he spotted the Sorting Hat.
"Sir, have you ever thought about getting the Sorting Hat cleaned? It's pretty filthy and I'm sure most children don't appreciate putting it on their heads."
"Oi! You watch your mouth boy! I'm an artifact worn by Godric Gryffindor himself." The hat said.
"Yeah, an ancient artifact." Harry shot back.
"Who are you calling old?"
"I'm not calling you old, I'm saying you're old. I'm surprised you're not falling apart at your stitches!" Dumbledore gave a cough, breaking up their argument. Harry heaved a sigh and stared at the Headmaster's desk. He was so bored. He had been a little panicked when Professor Sprout had taken him here but then he remembered he hadn't actually done anything to get in trouble. When she was dismissed, she seemed like she was trying to tell him something. Harry had no clue what it could've been though.
"So Harry, I heard a rumor you could speak to snakes."
"Oh it's not a rumor." Dumbledore looked relieved before Harry continued "I can speak to snakes. I love them." Dumbledore turned really pale and Harry thought the man might actually faint.
"Harry, I know you like being special but it's not right to lie about something like that."
"Why would I lie about talking to snakes?" Harry did not appreciate being called a liar by a senior citizen.
"Your Aunt told me that you used to terrorize the neighborhood." Dumbledore said disappointedly. Harry felt his blood freeze. Why did he talk to his Aunt?
"How do you know my Aunt sir?" It was rather suspicious of Dumbledore to bring up the one person that scared Harry. The Headmaster gave him a smile and said "well I was the one who left you with your Aunt after that night, my boy." Harry felt his eye start twitching.
"What authority did you have to make that decision sir?" He asked through clenched teeth.
"Ah. I felt it was the best decision to make. A boy should grow up in the care of his family, after all." Harry couldn't stop himself from jumping up from his chair.
"I would have been better off being raised by rabid raccoons than Aunt Petunia! She is a bitter vile woman who never got over being normal! If she could have gotten away with murdering me, she wouldn't have hesitated!" He was breathing heavily but couldn't calm down. This idiot had been the sole reason Harry had spent ten years wasting away in his cupboard.
"I'm sure that's not true, my boy! Your family loves you!" Dumbledore said earnestly.
"How would you know! Aunt Petunia prayed everyday that I wouldn't find my way home." Harry clenched his hands into fists. The Headmaster was spouting lies thinking Harry would just agree. He was trying to play God in his life and Harry would not blindly follow him. Before Harry could decide how he would murder the old man, the door was thrown open and Sirius walked in with Mr. Severus following him.
"Harry! Are you okay?" Sirius asked as he looked him over for injuries.
"The Headmaster has been calling me an attention seeking liar this whole time, Sirius!" Harry sniffed and wrapped his arms around Mr. Severus. Sirius stood protectively in front of them and said "oh he has?" His voice was like ice. Mr. Severus was patting him on the back. He peeked at him and nodded.
"Sirius! Harry has been telling the other children he's a Parselmouth!" Dumbledore objected.
"You will address me as Lord Black and Harry as Heir Potter, Headmaster." Sirius said. Sirius looked at Harry and knelt down.
"It's pretty cool you can speak to snakes, Harry!" His godfather said warmly.
"Granny thought so too! I told her before I came back to school." Harry warily told him. He knew Sirius didn't like snakes and hoped this wouldn't come between them.