Fanboy Draco Malfoy Convinces Harry Potter to Marry Him!

Fame & Enemies-Lockhart Has a Type and It's Greasy Dungeon Bats

Draco pulled Harry closer as the sunlight filtered through their curtains. It was early Saturday morning and it was perfect until someone's snoring broke the tranquil mood. He watched Harry blindly look around before yawning.
"Are you awake, Draco?" Harry reached up and poked his cheek.
"Of course darling. Are you ready to get up?" Harry rolled off the bed and landed on his feet. He knew getting thick rugs placed around the room was a smart idea as Harry padded to the bathroom, his bare feet silent on the floor. He picked out matching outfits for them to wear and got ready for the day. They ran into Flint as they were coming down the stairs.
"Harry, did you sneak into the common room last night?" Marcus gave them a suspicious look.
"Mind your own business, Marcus!" Draco scowled at the nosy fourth year. Harry leaned forward and whispered "I'll ask Hermione for the Gryffindor's password so you can sneak in to see Percy." Marcus ruffled his hair and replied "And this is why I like you more than Draco, Harry!" Draco rolled his eyes at his buddy's behavior before following Harry towards the Great Hall. They sat beside Luna at the Ravenclaw table.
"All I'm saying is it's not possible to be in two places at the same time!" One of the Ravenclaw's snarled out, her hands banging on the table.
"I thought his books were works of fiction!" She continued. "There's no way that pile of hair products did any of the achievements he's bragging about!" The other Ravenclaw students were nodding along with her.
"Do you like Ravenclaw, Luna? No one's bothering you are they?" Draco knew everyone at Hogwarts had heard about the French Incident. The whole school was terrified to look at him twice. The Ravenclaw's were smart enough to understand that Harry wouldn't hesitate to protect his friends as well.
"It's nice. The door knocker has the most interesting riddles!" Her response had the other students sighing in relief.
"Ah Mr. Potter! Trying to unite the Houses are you? What an interesting way to get people's attention!" Lockhart said as he passed behind them. Draco witnessed Harry snapping a fork in half, a frown on his face.

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Tonks stalked down the hall, her hair a deep red. How in Merlin's pants was she going to become an Auror with that idiot teaching? He had given them a quiz on his favorite color! That wasn't going to be on their exam! She continued to huff as she thought of how awesome Remus was. He had them miles ahead on the course work because he taught everything so clearly. She heard voices and peeked around the corner. The bane of her existence was talking to Professor Snape, his robes momentarily blinding her.
"And that's why I won best smile for the third year in a row!" The man beamed at her cousin's arm candy. Professor Snape didn't even blink and just continued to ignore him. She had to force back a gasp as Lockhart grabbed the dour man's sleeve. Did he want to lose his hand?
"Severus, I have a confession to make. I think your whole gloom and doom thing is very attractive." She was going to have Hermione obliviate her, she decided as she continued to watch this dumpster fire.
"With my natural charm and your charming disposition, we'd make a stunning couple!" Professor Snape gave Lockhart a disgusted look and yanked his sleeve out of his grasp.
"For your information, I am already in a relationship. Even if I wasn't, I still wouldn't pick you." Lockhart just leaned closer and said "I can assure you, I am the best choice for a partner." Professor Snape didn't even give the man time to finish before he was already walking away. Tonks fled in the opposite direction. She slammed into Cedric and shook his shoulders.
"Tonks babe, what's wrong?" He asked, his teeth rattling in his mouth.
"Lockhart is trying to steal Professor Snape away from Cousin Sirius!" The whole common room went silent as Harry stood up.
"What did you just say?"

~~~~~~

Harry paced back and forth in agitation. How dare that man try to break up Mr. Severus and Sirius? They were his parents and no one was going to tear them apart! Draco watched him and said nothing. Harry stopped as the answer came to him. He was going to steal the one thing Lockhart loved the most. Perhaps he could even get him to quit before the first month of school was over.
"Harry?" He walked over to his fiancé and perched on the edge of Draco's chair. He reached for a strand of his hair and began twirling it around his finger.
"Draco, would you do me a favor?" His eyes lit up and he replied "of course my heart!" Harry leaned forward and gave him a kiss.
Harry arranged his headband to highlight his scar and patted down his robes. He walked the empty halls towards the Great Hall. He just so happened to meet Lockhart halfway there.
"Oh! Hello sir! How are you?" Lockhart zeroed in on his scar.
"Harry! How are you? I'm doing well! Did you know-" he let the man prattle on. They made it to the Great Hall and he made sure to go first so he could see his reaction.
"Harry! Can you tell me the story of how you defeated the Dark Lord again?" Ron shouted from the Gryffindor table.
"No fair! I want to hear about Harry fighting that troll!" Pansy yelled from the Slytherin side. As the other students demanded his attention, he had the pleasure of watching the smile fall from Lockhart's face. A first year Gryffindor was snapping pictures of him and he made sure to wave happily at him. Colin Creevey was a little weirdo but Harry made sure to set proper boundaries with him.
"Children! Leave poor Harry alone." Lockhart tried and failed to get their attention.
"It's okay Professor! I am the Boy-Who-Lived after all. It makes sense that they want to talk to a real celebrity." He emphasized the last words and the man's eye started twitching.
"I see." He stomped to his seat. He saw the rest of the teachers looked confused as the students kept calling out to him. He just kept smiling at everyone, his plan falling together perfectly.

~~~~~~

Neville moved his pawn forward as Ron watched him intently. The twins were trying to help him but they were just as bad at chess as he was. Herm was furiously writing up all of the inconsistencies that Professor Lockhart had in his books to send to the goblins. She was hoping if she publicly humiliated him, he would drown himself in Moaning Myrtle's haunted toilet. Neville had already thought of an alibi in case she got impatient and just did it herself.
"Is everyone here?" Draco asked as he dragged something behind him, shutting the club room door behind him.
"Yes, President! We are all accounted for!" Herm didn't pause in her writing as she answered. Draco dumped his box to reveal pins. They had the words "Wizarding World's Sweetheart" with a picture of Harry underneath. Little hearts flashed different colors every couple of seconds.
"Dobby helped me whip them up." Draco explained and sat behind his desk.
"I call this HFC meeting to order!" Ron raised his hand immediately.
"I'm going to be honest. I don't know what's happening." He gestured around them. Neville let out a sigh. He didn't know what in Merlin's pants was going on either.
"Lockhart tried to make a move on Uncle Severus and Harry has labeled him Enemy Number One. He has given us the task of ruining that homewrecker's life." Neville raised his hand next.
"And how are we going to do that?" Draco grinned at them and said "we're going to take away his fame! He loves all the attention and the fans, take that away and what is he? Just some other bloke on the street." The twins spoke up and said "so Harry's going to use his fame to get revenge on Lockhart for trying to put the moves on his dad? Wicked!" As they all started planning, Neville couldn't help but wonder if this was the year they were going to get expelled.