Fanboy Draco Malfoy Convinces Harry Potter to Marry Him!

Bachelor Parties & Holding Cells-Ron Looks So Cool With One Eyebrow!

Cedric Diggory whistled as he took the trash out. He was finally about to leave the shop. Ever since they had opened, they had customers lining up outside the door. It was nice to be successful but he was exhausted! He would get off work and fall asleep as soon as he got home. The only plus side was that Tonks was just as exhausted from Auror training. They had been so excited to finally get a flat together. "We won't have to worry about our parents walking in on us!" Tonks had said but they barely kissed each other before falling asleep. He opened the dumpster and threw the bag in. He froze when he heard it hit something or should he say, someone. He slowly turned around and found Mrs. Tonks glaring at him.
"Merlin, Diggory! You almost killed me with that thing. What do you have in there, bricks?" She barked out and he jumped.
"Sorry, Mrs. Tonks! I didn't know you were there." Cedric was starting to believe he was growing on her. This was the first time this week she had tried to come after him and it was already Tuesday! He couldn't wait to tell Tonks! Maybe they could even invite her parents over for dinner. The first and only time they had, Mrs. Tonks had set their curtains on fire. She had said she was trying to aim at Cedric's arm but had missed. He liked to think on purpose.
"Can I help you with anything?" He asked politely.
"I was just the chauffeur." She gave a sniff before scrambling out of the dumpster, her robes covered in failed potions. They technically weren't supposed to throw them away but how else were they supposed to dispose of them? As long as Professor Snape didn't find out, they would be alright. His former potions Professor would make them scrub cauldrons until their fingers were all pruny.
"Er okay. It was nice seeing you." She stomped away and he heard a crack as she apparated back to Hogwarts. He gave himself a pat on the back. She hadn't even thrown a hex over her shoulder before she left. Progress! He had a pep in his step as he flipped the sign to close before locking the door. As he turned around he found Draco casually leaning against the wall with the rest of the HFC behind him. He gave a very manly scream before clutching his chest.
"What are you guys doing here?" He wheezed out and Draco gave him a look that questioned his intelligence.
"I'm having a bachelor party, of course."

~~~~~~

Lucius grinned at his son as he pulled cookies out of the oven. The House Elves were kind enough to let him use the kitchen whenever he felt like baking.
"Does Professor Lucius need any help? Poppy would be happy to help!" A squeaking voice asked and he patted her shoulder.
"Thank you for offering, Poppy but I'm fine." She blushed before bustling away, her large ears flapping behind her.
"Poppy likes you, Daddy." Harry whispered and Lucius sighed. He was cursed. He had always been adorned by the masses. How could anyone resist his flowing locks and beautiful hands? Thank Merlin, Cissy kept them at bay. She really was his defender, his knight in shining armor.
"I will have to let her down gently. Curse my beauty!" He shook his fist above his head and Harry giggled.
"You'll have to be careful, my sweet son. You too carry the same heavy burden." Harry flicked his hair over his shoulder before responding.
"If anyone tries to get too friendly, I threaten to feed them to Chad." Harry's Dementor friend hissed from the corner as the House Elves tried to wash its cloak. Chad had refused to take it off. Lucius wasn't even sure he could take it off. He had never seen a naked Dementor before. The House Elves were just grabbing parts of it and scrubbing furiously while Chad grumbled.
"That's good, love. If you have any issues, please tell Daddy. I will take them to the Malfoy Dungeons." He didn't want to scare his precious son but the Dungeons were fully operational for a reason. Any true enemy of House Malfoy ended up there.
"Okay, daddy! Are the cupcakes almost done?" He quickly took them out before they could burn.
"Are you sure you don't want to do something else for your bachelor party, Harry?" He asked for the fourth time. He didn't think spending the day baking with him and his pet Dementor would be that much fun.
"No, daddy! The twins bullied Draco into an actual party but I like spending time with you." Lucius felt his lower lip start to tremble before he wrapped his arms around him.
"My darling boy, don't even change." He wailed as Chad used the distraction to float up to the ceiling, out of the Elves' reach.