Sin ||KookV||

25

The bedroom on the second floor had a musky smell of sex that had yet to dissipate. I was nestled on the sofa as I swallowed the anti-inflammatory pills, watching my hyung put away the sheets that I had wet and replace them with new ones. The sheets were a light mauve colour that was more suited for girls, but I found it gentle.

My hyung came over to hug me. I kicked him away but he caught my ankle and kissed the sole of my foot. It felt very ticklish.

I didn't actually need to be hugged, but I saw that my hyung's gaze was very lonely. He really wanted to hug me. Thus, I didn't resist him scooping me up in a princess carry. For the sake of consoling my hyung who had been verbally hurt by me, I was willing to be a princess for a second.

He helped me to fill my red and inflamed hole with ointment, as well as apply a soothing lotion to my ass cheeks that had been smacked swollen. He even pried my cheeks open and poked around my swollen and painful entrance, telling me I was fine, it was just a bit swollen.

I kept my face buried in a pillow, muttering nasally, "Hasn't it been fucked until it's wrecked..."

"It won't be, I didn't go very hard."

It was already like this but still considered not going very hard...I sympathised a bit with my hyung's mistresses. He wasn't the kind of guy who would go easy on others; he definitely had a sexual abuse kink, just that he didn't fully unleash it on me.

Actually, I could feel shameful sometimes too. At first, when I made love with my hyung, I didn't think much of it. But when it occurred to me later that when he was young, he had carried me and fed me with a milk bottle, brought me to go trap ants and catch dragonflies, sent me to school and prepared food for me to eat yet was now, in the middle of the night, entangling with me in the sheets and on the floor, kissing me and having anal intercourse, I felt a little bit shameful.

My hyung came closer to kiss me. I pretended to be asleep. He lightly pecked the corners of my lips a few times but didn't receive a response, so he silently stayed there for about ten seconds before returning to lie down on his side behind me, pulling me into his arms from behind my back.

It seemed like my hyung wasn't able to fall asleep. One moment he'd flip over and help me tuck in the corners of the blanket, the next he'd adjust the temperature of the air conditioner, and another he'd hold me in his chest, breathing shallowly in the crook of my neck. He was totally like a little kid with ADHD. I thought to myself, if I attended university elsewhere in the country, he would definitely miss me a lot and call me every day. If I was too busy and declined his call, he would bring good food and drive over to find me, then act casual as he requested for me not to decline his calls. If my hyung also had a hyung to dote on him, he would undoubtedly be very whiny.

With a fever, my head was sometimes clear and sometimes muddled. After perspiring, I felt a bit better and woke up again. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was only the middle of the night, but when I groped about the empty space next to my hand, it was cold.

My hyung was sitting on the floor of the balcony with slides on. His strong and broad back was covered by his sleeveless shirt. His shoulders were very broad, yet his waist was firm and slender. It looked a little disorganised, and a little good-looking.

His back faced me. A puff of smoke billowed from his mouth, rising from the top of his head into the pitch black sky. At this time, the moon hung high in the sky, its light cloaking my hyung like a blanket of thin snow. He looked like he was blooming in the snow, and I wanted to lick off the moonlight on his face.

When I looked at him, it was no longer like looking at the little leader who would bring me to play unbridledly when we were younger. He had grown up, I hadn't. If Jungkook became a father, his children would definitely be very blessed. They would be accompanied, encouraged, loved and embraced, receiving everything I never had.