Sin ||KookV||

29

CW: NSFW, violence, mention of self-harm

I wanted to crawl into my hyunge's room through the window. He might not let me hug him, so I'd sleep behind him. After he fell asleep, I'd secretly kiss his lips. Perhaps he would be startled awake and slap me, then pick up some hard object nearby to beat me up with because he was feeling very irritated right now. If hitting me could help him to cool down, I'd let him. After all, coaxing an angry girlfriend to have a change of heart was the duty of a man.

But this floor was too high. I couldn't crawl into his room, yet I also yearned to go in and get a bit of warmth. I remembered that my hyung had said that if I continued to be disobedient, he'd lock me inside a cage. Sure enough, he had kept his word. My hyung had imprisoned me outside his room, the Earth beneath my feet the prison.

I couldn't fall asleep and didn't dare to either. I wanted to go to the kitchen and help my hyung cook a bowl of porridge for breakfast. When I passed by the full-length mirror, I saw my pathetic appearance. The left side of my face was red and swollen, and there were remnants of dried blood on the bruise at the corner of my lips. I suddenly recalled that I had been beaten up by my hyung, thus my body started to faintly ache.

My limited-time summer romance had ended. In the future, perhaps all I could do was helplessly watch as my hyung married a pretty woman, carried a cute child in his arms and held his new brother's hand as they walked into the ceremonial hall. He would become someone else's father, someone else's hyung. When my thoughts reached this point, I felt like a pair of hands was gripping my neck. I couldn't breathe.

At around 4.30 in the morning, the sky started to brighten. The housekeeping lady softly opened the door to come to make breakfast for us. My presence in the kitchen gave her a scare.

I had already cooked a pot of porridge. When I tasted it, I kept feeling like it was somehow unpalatable, so I had the lady cook another pot. I ladled the porridge she had cooked into a bowl and carried it to the table, then ran back to wait outside the room for my hyung to wake up.

As the lady cleaned up the area I had messed up, she chatted idly with me, saying that my hyung's stomach hadn't been well recently because of the last time he drank alcohol. She also said that my hyung had recently been discussing a partnership with a big entrepreneur who had extremely high demands. My hyung was terribly busy now, so it was easy for him to get agitated and she had hence cooked more lightly flavoured food these two days, as well as cooked food that was more to my hyung's taste. Not a single dish indulged my tastes.

I didn't notice any of this, because once a person's line of sight was covered by impatience and resentment, they would become stupid and short-sighted.

Usually, my hyung woke up at around 7.30 am. Recently, because he had to send me to school, he had set his alarm at 5.10 am. My eyes were glued to the clock on the wall. It was 5.10 am, but there wasn't a sound in my hyung's room. It seemed like he had turned off the alarm. I was about to be late, but I didn't feel like going to school. I was afraid that when I returned home after school, the house would be empty and I'd suddenly become an orphan.

Separated by a door, I could hear the sound of his breathing and heartbeat. I could even hear the sound of his scalded arm gradually rotting. He had a pair of slender and exquisite hands. I had imagined countless times cutting off those two hands and keeping them in my arms so that he could caress and embrace me forever. I wished so badly that it was my face instead that was rotting and in pain at this moment.

I finally held out until 7.30 am. My hyung still hadn't moved. I seemed to have been locked in prison starting from last night until now. A burst of fury, ignited by extreme fear, drove me to break out of this prison. I couldn't control myself anymore, kicking the bedroom door open. Bits of wood from the door frame flew everywhere, accompanied by the sound of a loud crash. The room was filled with smoke, the overnight smell of tobacco so strong that I wanted to puke.