They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 8

"I don't know," Tommy had said. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, but he did know. He did know and Wilbur must know too, because what was the only thing that had changed before Tommy ran? The man. The man had come and Tommy had vanished.

Wilbur was staring at Tommy, who's eyes were squeezed shut in terror. Wilbur himself could virtually feel the terror that was echoing out of the boy, overfilling. He saw the tensed muscles, the squeezed eyes, the pain, and he didn't know what to do.

"Tommy?" Wilbur asked again, not knowing what else to say, and Tommy ever so slowly opened his eyes, confused at the lack of a blow. Wilbur stared at him, confusion and worry and kindness showing in his eyes. Tommy stared back, matching the confusion, why was Wilbur looking at him like that? Like he cared? He didn't care. He couldn't care. He didn't know Tommy. So, How? How could he care?

No. Tommy knew better then to pay attention to any care in the others eyes. He couldn't trust it. Not if he wanted to beat the system. And he did. More than anything, Tommy wanted to win this stupid cruel unending game. He didn't hope for a better life, didn't even hope for the win, he just knew he needed to. That need was the only reason Tommy was still here. So, no. Tommy would not risk the loss by trusting Wilbur. He couldn't.

He stared at the taller man, who was looking back down at him with concern. Tommy didn't know what to say, but he did know he didn't like the look Wilbur was giving him. It was unnatural, dangerous in its own cruel way.

"Wilbur?" Came a new voice. Tommy flinched, the fear doubling. More people. More danger. More danger. More danger. So much fucking danger. Tommy wanted to scream, but he couldn't, even if his voice wasn't worn out and lost, he knew better than to try. Not now that he had some access to the rest of his brain. Not now that he wasn't running entirely on pain and fear. No. He wouldn't scream. He would, however, run if he got the chance, but Wilbur was still gripping his arms tightly.

Tommy had squeezed his eyes closed again, and didn't recognise the owner of the voice. He wondered if it was the man. It probably was. Was this where he would die? He didn't want to. He couldn't.

"Techno, go get Ranboo, then stay with Sally," Wilbur hissed over his shoulder, his tone gentle and apologetic, but urgent. There was a moment of silence, and then footsteps dashing away from them.

"Tommy, can you look at me please?" Wilbur asked, and Tommy did as he was told. Wilbur stared at him for a few seconds, before speaking hesitantly, his voice filled with pain, "Was it Techno? The scars?"

Tommy just stared at him, not knowing how Wilbur would react if he said yes, or if he lied. Techno. That was the name Wilbur had just mentioned, connecting it to the scars. Techno. That was the name Wilbur had told to go away. Techno. That was the man. The man of death.

"You can be honest Tommy, it's ok if it was. I was scared the first time I saw him too."

Tommy stared fearfully at Wilbur, not sure if this was a trap. He was waiting for the moment Wilbur's eyes would go cold and cruel and he would laugh, and the beating would start. He was waiting for the abuse and the hurt and the pain. He was waiting for the mask to slip and for Wilbur to become the monster Tommy knew so well. As a child, Tommy, had named that monster, thinking that surely it was a creature that overtook good people, but Tommy knew better then that now. He knew it wasn't a monster. He knew that those people simply weren't good people.

Tommy hoped he was a good person, but he didn't know. What he did know was that you could never trust anyone, because they all had that monster lurking inside them, and that was just them. That cruelty was just them. The people themselves are the monsters and Tommy knew that. Everyone was one. No one could be trusted.