They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 28

TW: description of wounds, mention of blood, discussion of SH

Slowly, painfully, the lesson passed. Conner's enthusiasm did not quell even when Tommy didn't return it. The other boy was insistent on his attempts to make Tommy smile or laugh and it was weird. It freaked Tommy out. He didn't know what to think or what to do, and he certainly wasn't used to it. All he knew was to never trust it. Never. People were too good at acting, lying, pretending to care.

By the time the lesson was over, Tommy felt as though he had simply no energy left whatsoever. He was done. He didn't think he could move, but he knew he had to. Agonisingly he tried to drag his body upright, only for his legs to give out under him. He crumpled to the floor, unable to move and grateful the rest of the class had already left.

"Tommy!?" Conner panicked, reaching down to him, "Tommy are you ok? What's wrong. What happened?"

"Dizzy," Tommy groaned, and to some extent it was true, he had felt dizzy, and that mixed in with everything else hadn't helped him stay standing, but he knew it wasn't the only reason.

"What happened?" The teacher asked, rushing over to them.

"He fell," Conner said when Tommy didn't respond.

"Do you need us to help you to the nurses office?" Mr. Skeppy asked.

"I'm ok," Tommy said, doing his best to suppress the all encompassing agony as he said the words. The world felt as though it was on fire, but he was still pulling himself back to standing, now with a careful grip on the table to balance himself. He could not be sent home. He could not.

"You're not-" Conner started, but Mr. Skeppy shook his head slightly, quieting him.

"Tommy, if you need help you can ask for it," Mr. Skeppy offered. Tommy shook his head, pulling his backpack on, ignoring the flaming pain in his ribs as he bent to pick it up.

"I'm fine."

Conner looked like he wanted to argue, but instead he pulled up a smile.

"Then let's go get food," He decided, reaching out to hold Tommy's arm to steady him as they walked. Tommy hissed slightly, not ready for the sudden contact as Conner's hand gripped his arm right over one of the most painful cuts.

"Are you ok?" Conner asked again, and Tommy nodded, gritting his teeth at the pain as they walked out of the class. Once they were out of sight of Mr. Skeppy, Conner stopped suddenly, turning on Tommy. He flinched away, prepared for the strike ge knew was coming.

"Tommy?" Conner's voice was gentle, concerned, and- sad somehow, "Why do you flinch away from me?"

Tommy's eyes widened in panic. He was supposed to hide that. He knew how some people hated it. Hated seeing his weakness.

"I want you to know I won't hurt you, ok? I don't know why you think I will, but I promise I won't," Conner continued when Tommy didn't give an answer.

Tommy didn't trust that. People had said that and then gone on to hurt him far too many times. He knew it was a lie. He didn't even bother trying to argue with that fact anymore.

A few moments later, the silence stretching once more, Conner brushed his hand comfortingly against Tommy's arm, and the pain spiked, but Tommy did not make a noise, simply gritting his teeth harder and squeezing his eyes closed for a second.

"Why do you do that?" Conner asked, before realising he needed to explain his question, "Why do you look like you're in pain when I touch your arms?"

Tommy shrugged, but even as he did so, the fear grew more and more, bringing him closer and closer to full on panic. He didn't know what he was supposed to say, didn't know what he was supposed to do.

"Can I see your arms Tommy?" Conner asked gently, and Tommy didn't move, didn't make a sound, knowing better than to protest, but also not willing to agree. This was a lose-lose situation. Either Conner saw his weakness, something Dream had told Tommy to hide, or Tommy had to say no, which would result in Conner hurting him. He didn't know what to do so he stood, unmoving, unspeaking, waiting for Conner to choose.

Slowly, Conner reached out and took Tommy's hand. Just as slowly, he rolled up the sleeve, revealing the bandage underneath, and the straight lines of blood that were seeping through the layers of bandaging, making what lay beneath them clear, although hiding the bruising.

"Tommy," Conner murmured, his voice sad and desperate and broken, and suddenly he was pulling Tommy into a hug. Tommy held back the scream that filled his lungs with the sudden crushing pain of the hug. He swallowed it down, begging his voice to obey him and stay quiet, just like he was supposed to.

"Why?" Conner asked, and Tommy didn't move. Didn't say a word. What was he supposed to say? 'I didn't do that' ? Yeah. That'd go fucking well now, wouldn't it? Not.

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but I'll always be here if you need me," Conner said when Tommy didn't make a sound. Stiffly Tommy nodded. That reassured Conner enough for him to give Tommy a weak smile and then slowly continue walking again. He promised not to tell the others without Tommy's permission in exchange for Tommy promising to talk to someone if he wanted to himself more. Tommy didn't have any intentions to hurt himself, and certainly didn't want to, so he agreed.

The two walked, and slowly Conner tried to bring back his usual happiness and lighten the mood, but it seemed forced. Tommy didn't even try. He didn't bother leaving Conner, was too tired to care about the danger he was in. He just followed the other boy to the group, who were sitting just inside the doors, out of the rain.

Words: 1000

A/N: does anyone read my weird author notes? Usually I just talk about something random that happened, but I'm just curious if anyone reads it?