They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 78

"You're worth far more then you know"

Tommy sat, the words repeating in his head again and again. What was he worth? He couldn't do anything. He didn't bring joy. He had no role, how could he have any worth?

"Not many people who go through Dream make it out alive on other side, it says a lot that you did," Techno said softly. Tommy stared at him, panic building, what did Techno know? How did Techno know? How did he know about the kids who went through Dream? Puffy had said he was Dream's first foster kid. Was Techno friends with Dream? What did he know? Tommy forced himself not to flinch away from Techno's almost silent intake of breathe before the man spoke again, "If Dream hasn't changed, he'd have tried to break you. You'll never be broken. He'd try to convince you that you were, but I promise you Tommy, you are perfect. It took me years to learn that, I don't want it to take you that long."

What did Techno mean? Why was he saying that he had learnt it? Why would he have had to learn it? What did he mean 'If Dream hasn't changed'? What was going on?

"For the next week or so, I may not be perfect and there for you all the time while I recover, but please, please come to me or Wilbur or Dad or Eret or anyone if something, anything, is wrong. We want to make sure you are happy here. We want you to feel safe."

Tommy stared forward for a long time, thoughts racing as the silence stretched, and finally he worked up the courage to follow Wilbur's advice and ask the question swirling around his head.

"Am I safe?" The words were quiet, barely audible, but Tommy knew Techno had heard them, and even as he spoke them, he regretted it. It was dangerous and stupid. It was a risk he should never have taken.

"What?" Techno asked, seemingly taken aback by the question, but before Tommy could repeat himself, which he would not risk doing, Techno regained his composure and answered the question, "Yes. Yes you are safe here Tommy. I will do everything in my power to make sure you are safe, as will Wilbur and Dad and every single member of our group."

"Thank you," Tommy whispered, not sure what else he was supposed to say. The constant terror, however used to it he was, was beginning to weigh heavily and he felt the exhaustion building. It had been an achingly long day, and the terror hadn't managed to lesson.

Tommy felt the silence stretch once more, and with each passing second the anxiety grew, terrified for whatever Techno might say next.

"Tommy, did you ever see the smile? When you lived with Dream?" Techno asked, finally breaching the silence. Tommy repeated the words in his head again and again, trying to make sense of it, but he had no clue what Techno meant.

"I don't think so," Tommy replied, settling on the honest answer. He hoped it was the right one.

"That's good."

Tommy wanted to ask why, wanted to ask what Techno meant, but he didn't. He knew he couldn't. Once more the silence stretched as the two sat, trying to work out what they were supposed to say next. Again it was Techno who broke the silence.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes," Tommy said, and it wasn't a full lie. It was definitely a partial one, but he could breathe, more then he had been a few minutes ago, so it was sort of true.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Tommy said, feeling less sure about the level of truth to the lie, but still holding onto it. He didn't have any other choice. This was the safest way.

"I need to rest because of the concussion, but will you promise to come get me if the answer to that question changes?"

"Yes," Tommy said, and this time he knew it was a lie. There was no way he was going to interrupt Techno at all, and definitely not to say he wasn't ok. That was just 2 ways of saying 'Hey look, I have a very punchable face'. Tommy was not doing that. Not a chance.

Techno gave Tommy a small smile and then left, closing the door behind him. With that, Tommy let his body relax, loosening his tense muscles that had been ready to spring him across the room and away from Techno at a moments notice. He oh pulled himself onto the bed, this time lying on it and curling under the blankets, trying to find some semblance of safety.

Now, with his body finally relaxed, Tommy allowed his mind to wander through the recent conversation, trying to understand what had happened. As he went through each sentence, each question, each answer, the same words found their way to the surface again, "You're worth far more then you know". Why had Techno said that? He didn't understand what he meant. Tommy was simply not worth much. He could cook and clean and take beatings, but he was not worth anything, that's why he was the one who took the beatings. He didn't matter. It didn't matter when he hurt. It didn't matter because he had no real worth.

Tommy hadn't understood most of the conversation. Hadn't understood Techno's promises, nor his reassurances, nor his questions. In fact all he had understood were the actual words, not why they had been said in that order or if they meant what they sounded like they meant. Tommy knew just how deceiving words could be. He knew how people would often say one thing and expect the other. How they would say it's fine for Tommy to be struggling, and then how they would beat him for any small trace of tears. There were always hidden meanings, the only question was how hidden they were, and wether you could find them.

Words: 1000

A/N: this was also a present for my sister, this one a thank you, she knows what for lol (aren't you guys glad you're benefiting off of my sister's presents? XDD