They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 64

TW: mentions of hospitals, injuries, panic attacks and medication

Tommy scanned the room in confusion, where was Quackity and Techno? They had been there earlier... They had been yelling something about protecting Tommy. Oh shit. They better not be hurt. If they were hurt trying to look after Tommy, people would be mad. Really mad. Tommy was in so much danger if that was the case. Please, please don't make that be the case. Tommy didn't know if he could deal with that.

Wilbur seemed to sense his confusion, and supplied the answer.

"Techno and Quackity are ok, they got hurt and are getting checked up, but everyone's ok," Wilbur said, his voice soft. Tommy wanted to scream. He wanted to scream and plea for safety. He had just wanted to spend the last few hours he had with them and be safe. He had wanted to leave with the belief they never would've hurt him, but now he had failed. Now they had to be angry at him. It was his fault. It was all his fault.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please, I'm sorry," Tommy whispered, begging for forgiveness. He couldn't go through this. He had... he had needed this. He did need this. He'd messed up too badly. He shouldn't have gone to Eret's house, he should've- he- he didn't know what he should've done, but he couldn't live with them hating him. He didn't know why. Maybe it was because they had treated him the way Tubbo had once treated him. Maybe it was because he had believed their promises. Maybe it was because he had thought they wouldn't hurt him. Maybe it was because he had hoped- oh... he had hoped. He hadn't thought he was hoping for anything, but he had hoped. He didn't want to. It hurt. He could already feel the pain from the loss of hope, because that was what it was, the cursed thing they call hope.

"It's not your fault. Techno knew Dream," Wilbur said, his voice gentle, scooping Tommy into another one armed hug, "It's not your fault and it never was. Don't blame yourself, because none of us do. All we want is for you to be ok. Are you ok?"

"I- y- yes," Tommy replied, stuttering over the words, not sure if they were true. Was he safe? Was he ok? He didn't know. He had hoped. He had hoped even though he had said he wouldn't. He had risked breaking his promise to Tubbo. He had risked everything for hope. Why? Why had he done that? Was he still doing it? He didn't know and he fucking hated that.

Gently Wilbur let Tommy go, moving away to give him space. Was he leaving? How long for?

"Kristin, has it been 10 minutes?" Wilbur asked after a few seconds.

"Three more, sorry," Kristin replied and Wilbur groaned, letting his head fall forward again, still blocking his nose.

"Stupid blood nose," He muttered.

"Next time don't get punched in the face," Sally quipped and Wilbur glared at her. She just laughed and sat down. The rest of the group slowly followed her lead, forming a circle like they did at lunch and recess. Eret was on Tommy's left, and Ranboo next to her, while Wilbur was on Tommy's right, and Sally next to him. The rest of the group fell into place as though completely natural.

"What are you drawing?" Eret asked Karl, clearly trying to distract them all from the stress of the morning. Karl gave her a weak smile and shook his head.

"It's not finished," He said, flipping to a different page.

"You show us unfinished ones all the time," Jack grumbled, clearly wanting to see it.

"Nope, not that one," Karl insisted, turning the journal so they could see a piece he had finished, "You can see this one though."

"Who are they?" Purpled asked as Karl revealed the art piece that looked to be 13 people in medieval times.

"It's what I think we'd all look like in a different time, or well in the medieval era," Karl explained with a smile, "That's Wilbur, he's a snotty poet."

"Hey!" Wilbur complained, looking up quickly.

"That's pretty accurate," Sally chuckled, tapping Wilbur's head to remind him to keep it forward and fix the blood nose.

"I thought so too," Karl smiled, "That's Eret, the monarch, I don't know why, I just thought she's the sort of person to wear a crown and have it look natural, then to his right is Ranboo, the prince."

The two smiled at that, seemingly used to being seen as siblings, and appreciating it.

"That's Sally, a pirate captain and Niki, the ship's cook," Karl continued. The two high-fived, clearly seeing it as a win. Tommy didn't know if that was an inside joke or not, but it probably was. Karl chuckled and continued, "And that's Jack, the cabin boy."

"Hey!" Jack argued, "I'd totally be a full pirate!"

The group seemed to find the statement hilarious as each struggled to catch their breathe between the laughter. Eventually it subsided and Karl continued.

"That's Fundy, he's a hunter, and made friends with a fox," Karl said, chuckling slightly at the thought, "And this is Conner, the court jester."

"I'd be the best jester ever," Conner laughed, and once again the group burst into laughter.

"That's Techno as an army general, Quackity as a knight and Purpled as a weaponsmith, don't ask me why, I have no reason," Karl chuckled and somehow the group was laughing once more. When it faded, Karl continued, "That's Tommy, the Baron of the largest estate in the kingdom."

What? He had included Tommy? Why? Tommy wasn't going to be here long. He was just an in between. Why would Karl add him to the piece? Wouldn't it ruin it when Tommy left? Why would he do that!? Did he care? No. No, he didn't. Did he?

"And then this is me, an artist," Karl smiled, finishing off the list as though he hadn't just said the most insane thing ever. Tommy was in his art piece? And he was a baron? He didn't deserve that. He'd be a servant, if not dead. Probably dead. So why had Karl said that? Why would he act like Tommy was a part of this group? He wasn't? It didn't make sense. It didn't. Tommy had ruined the art piece. Now when he was gone it would be useless. Did Karl not understand that? And even if he did think Tommy was going to stay, why would he want to put effort into something about Tommy? He was Tommy for goodness sake. He was weak. He was pathetic. He was annoying. He was everything people hated and more. He didn't deserve any of this. It didn't make sense!

The rest of the group were talking excitedly about their thoughts on the piece and how they would all meet in this version of reality, while Tommy sat silently, waiting for someone to scream at him and ask why he was invading their space and invading their artworks and invading their world. He should just leave. They shouldn't have to put up with him. It wasn't fair on them.

He couldn't leave though. Dream was still here, plus it might make them angry if he just left. He couldn't give them a reason that would lesson that anger. So, he stayed, unmoving, wishing Puffy had never sent him here, while somehow also feeling endlessly grateful she had.

Words: 1250

A/N: I went though old chapters working out how many words in total and such, and found 2 chapters that weren't perfect, one that was 1600 words and one that was 1750, this chapter was fixing the second one, eventually I will deal with the 1600 word one, then I'll be able to have a perfectly round number for the whole word count :> (don't worry this fic isn't ending for a while yet, and when it does Imma start a new one in the same universe about a different character, feel free to guess which lol)

Also don't question this chapter, it was a random idea and I went "sure why not" so uhhhh what did u guys think?