They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 48

TW: mentions of SH, weapons, injuries, abuse

Recess ended at the same time Tommy finished eating the fruit mince pie Niki had given him, which at least meant he didn't have to talk at all. His next class was physics with Ranboo, so that at least meant he didn't have to think much, instead just following Ranboo to class. Eret walked with them, apparently her class wasn't far from theirs. Ranboo stopped at the class and Tommy followed his lead. Eret went to walk away, hesitated, and turned to Tommy.

"Tommy, if you ever need anything, my door is always open, you know where I live and you know where to find me at school. If you can't find me, Ranboo will be able to. Please. If you need anything at all, I will always be offering to help," Eret said, her voice gentle, but certain, not wavering at the words she was saying. Help. She was offering help. Oh... That would be nice... if Tommy could trust it. He wished he could. He really did. He hated that he didn't trust it.

Tommy gave Eret a halfhearted smile and she nodded gently, giving Tommy her own smile, this one seeming much more genuine then Tommy's, before disappearing down the hallways to her own class. Ranboo was quiet as they waited for class, and Tommy knew it was because he was distracted by the events of the day. Tommy couldn't blame him. After all he had come to school so exhausted he could barely stand, let alone comprehend the world around him. Then Ranboo had taken him to the nurse's office, where he had been fine until Ranboo's friend showed up, which had caused Tommy to panic and then pass out. Yeah... it had been an eventful day.

Ms. Alyssa arrived a minute or so later, and Tommy quietly followed Ranboo into class. Thanks to the time he had spent asleep- or well, passed out, he felt somewhat refreshed, and awake enough to take in the lesson, even if he couldn't quite build up the energy to actually write notes. It was better then the first to classes of the day, from which he remembered very little.

The class went on for an achingly long time, and Tommy's fleeting increase in energy was somewhat drained by the end, although not quite as much as it had been that morning. He wouldn't say he was grateful when class ended, but it was somewhat of a relief to not have to worry so much about trying to understand what the teacher was saying for the few minutes in between class.

Ranboo waved goodbye before disappearing down a different hallway, leaving Tommy to walk the halls alone. Tommy hated school hallways. He hated the how closed in they were, how tightly packed they were. He hated the large amounts of people and the danger that came with that. He hated the memories of the hundreds of times he had been cornered in hallways all too similar to these. He hated it all.

Tommy shoved down the fear filling him about the hallways and their stupid fucking danger, and he stepped out, slipping through the crowds as best he could, not making a sound of pain even as he was jostled heavily, elbows accidentally knocking into his already agonisingly sore torso or arms.

Quickly enough he found his way to class, which had just opened. He moved over to his spot next to Conner, sighing in relief at the chair and the rest that came with it. The lesson was decidedly exhausting and long, filled to the brim with memorisation of different elements that Tommy couldn't quite get his head around.

When the lesson was over, Tommy quietly followed Conner back to the group. The rest of the lessons were spent much like that, Tommy phasing through the day, getting through it as best he could, which wasn't all that well.

As he had every day since he had arrived here, Tommy ran when school ended, instantly outside and towards the shops. He didn't stop, didn't so much as slow for anyone. He simply ran, knowing what he needed to do, and knowing he needed to do it fast. He ran, even as his body screamed for rest, for recovery. He didn't give it what it asked for. He couldn't. He knew that any rest would just result in more pain. More agony. More. He couldn't. He needed to get back in time.

As always he sped through the shopping, before paying and then running back to the house. He had no time to breathe, no time to rest, no time to recover. Not when danger snarled overhead at any extra time wasted.

Tommy let himself inside, just about ready to collapse from exhaustion, only to come face to face with Dream. Shit. He'd been fast! He couldn't be late! No! No, no, NO!

"On time today, well done," Dream sneered, and Tommy wished that would've relaxed him, but instead his mind was sprinting from thought to thought, trying to work out what he had done, trying to work out what was about to happen. He didn't know, and that more then anything terrified him.

"Show me your arms," Dream hissed, and Tommy carefully unwrapped the bottom half of the bandaging covering his arms, still hiding his upper arms and the stitching holding the 3 deepest cuts closed.

"Only one new. You're telling me that the only mistake you made today was leaving your knife behind?" Dream snarled and Tommy stood his ground, hiding the fear, knowing that was what he needed to do more then anything.

"Yes sir," Tommy replied, forcing down any tremors or weakness that risked showing in his voice. He remained steady, even as his insides screamed for him to collapse and break. He stood still even though every part of him broke a thousand times.

"Don't lie to me Tommy."

"Please sir, it's the truth," Tommy begged, needing Dream to believe his lies. He couldn't deal with more. Not today. He knew if it came he would be able to take it, but he didn't know how long it would be before Dream destroyed him. Physically, Dream was no worse then any house before him, in fact he was far better then some, but Tommy's heart broke every time he saw the scars covering his arms. He couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand what Dream had made him do. It was far worse then anything anyone had done to Tommy before this, because Tommy had done it himself.

"You dare defy me? You think I don't know when you lie to me!?" Dream growled, furious, stepping forward and Tommy wanted to step away, wanted to escape but he knew that would be the biggest mistake right now. So, he stood, even as Dream got closer and closer, dangerously close. He stood. Unable to move. Unable to run. Unable to find safety.

"Please, I would never defy you. I trust you sir, please," Tommy whispered, still not letting himself fall back, even as Dream stood so close he was almost touching him. Tommy did not move. He did not make a sound. He did not cry. He did not scream. He simply stood, with the faint idea that maybe that was what he was supposed to do.

"Look at me," Dream snapped, and Tommy looked up, forcing himself to make eye contact, even as he had to crane his head in a painful way to do so. He saw Dream's face twitch in the faintest sign of appeasement, before the glower returned and he spoke, "Tell me the truth, did you make a mistake today?"

Tommy knew better then to admit to a lie. It wasn't worth it. Lying was a dangerous move and if you got caught on it it was far worse of a punishment. He knew he risked worse if found out later, but if not found out, he'd be spared so much. It was the choice he had made, the risk he had taken, when he first lied. He knew simply what he must say, and he knew he must say it as though it were the truest truth.

"No sir. I made no mistakes today other then forgetting the knife," Tommy replied, his voice steady, even, not defiant, not defensive, as though simply stating a fact.

Dream watched him for a long moment, seeming unable to decided if Tommy was lying or not. Finally, he stepped away. Tommy almost sighed in relief, he would've if he didn't know better. He knew that it would instantly signal the truth to Dream. So, as always, he remained still, silent, awaiting a command.

"Go to your room and don't come down again tonight. I do not want to see your face again," Dream snapped, and instantly Tommy went. He collapsed in relief on the bed he had been assigned, and finally, finally he could rest. If only that rest could last more then a moment.

Words: 1500

A/N: I struggled so much so unnecessarily with this chapter sometimes trying to get inspiration, no also cuz I did it randomly with lots of breaks cuz distraction woo- I know that the flow of the end of the school day is a bit off, and that's pretty much because I didn't know what to write for that part lol, hopefully it was still ok :]

Also, autocorrect changed the line "Lying was a dangerous move" to "Living was a dangerous move" XDDD I mean it's not wrong in this case-