They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 81

TW: mention of abuse and vomiting

Tommy POV:

When Tommy woke up again, he wasn't alone. He felt it the moment his eyes opened. Instantly he was searching the room, his panic rising, before his eyes landed on Wilbur who had fallen asleep on the floor next to Tommy's bed. He was still asleep, so Tommy was careful not to make so much as a sound. Why was he still here? The last thing he remembered was falling asleep in Wilbur's arms, somehow feeling safe. He remembered Wilbur insisting he was ok, that he had no need to be afraid, and at some point Tommy had started to believe him. Now however, he wasn't sure. He didn't know why he had trusted Wilbur, didn't know if it was a logical part of him or that cursed hope that kept flickering. He guessed it was hope and exhaustion mixed together, and so he had no faith in his decision to trust Wilbur.

There was some relief however, because for some unknown reason, Wilbur had decided not to hurt him for waking everyone up- or well he assumed he had woken everyone up. He could still hear his own uncontrollable screaming echoing in his ears. No one had hurt him though, and that at least had surprised him. It probably meant he was going to get thrown out though. If they didn't want him enough as a punching bag, they wouldn't want to deal with the fact that he was a problem child, which they must know by now.

Tommy gave up on trying to work out what was going to happen and resigned himself to staring at the ceiling until Wilbur woke up. He did not want to risk waking Wilbur up for a second time, they may have been gracious once, but Tommy would not expect their grace to come a second time. So, he lay there, perfectly still, perfectly quiet, for 3 hours and 57 minutes, watching the clock slowly tick past, keeping time because he had nothing better to do. He could run, but he got a strong sense that leaving was not the safest option here. Finally, Wilbur woke up.

"You awake Tommy?" He asked, his voice slurred slightly with sleep.

"Yeah," Tommy replied, doing his best to sound like he hadn't been awake for almost exactly 4 hours.

"What time is it?"

"9:21" Tommy replied, easily stating the only thing he'd been letting himself focus on.

"How are you feeling?" Wilbur asked, slowly pulling himself up to sitting. Tommy hesitated for a movement before going with the safest option.

"Ok."

He knew from experience that if he lied and said he was good, some people got mad because they weren't good, especially if they had to deal with him. However, if he was honest and said he wasn't doing well he'd get in trouble for being weak. Ok was a noncommittal middle ground, the safest option.

Wilbur seemed to accept the answer, before looking at the clock and swearing, as though suddenly realising something.

"I have to go check on Techno! I'll be right back!" Wilbur said, dashing out of the room. Tommy heard Wilbur waking Techno up, and Techno reassuring him that Phil kept the four hour check while Wilbur was busy.

When Wilbur returned, this time with his phone that held the alarms to check on Techno. He looked slightly frazzled, but also very relieved.

"Do you want some breakfast or are you still not feeling well?" Wilbur asked, and Tommy instantly recognised the safest route.

"I'm ok, I don't think I'll take food very well, thank you," Tommy replied, trying not to sound too relieved at the idea of not having so much food.

"Ok, we'll I'm going to head downstairs and make myself a cup of coffee, wanna join me?" Wilbur offered and Tommy nodded, getting up quickly, glad to be able to get out of the bed he'd spent hours lying awake, but unmoving. He followed Wilbur down stairs and found a seat at the kitchen island where he could watch Wilbur move around the kitchen.

"Do you want a coffee or tea or hot chocolate or anything?" Wilbur asked as he started to make his coffee. Tommy shook his head, he vaguely recognised coffee and tea as something some foster parents drank, but he hadn't heard of hot chocolate before. Either way he wasn't going to ask for it. He didn't need it to survive, so he didn't need it at all.

"Mkay," Wilbur nodded, wandering around the kitchen humming a tune Tommy didn't recognise. Whatever it was, Tommy had to admit it sounded nice.

After a while Wilbur sat down next to Tommy to sip his coffee, and silence descended as he did. Tommy didn't know if he was supposed to break the silence, but it was more common for people to hate when Tommy spoke at all, so he knew the safest option was to wait until Wilbur directly engaged him in conversation. Tommy was supposed to be seen and not heard, often preferably not seen either. That much seemed to minimise the issues of being a problem child.

"Do you want to talk about last night or no?" Wilbur asked quietly, finally breaching the silence that hard started to worry Tommy.

"I'm ok," Tommy said, quickly dismissing it. He didn't know if Wilbur was talking about the dream, or about him throwing up, but either way he didn't want to talk about it. In fact, he didn't want to talk about anything really.

"Alright, well I'm always here for you if you want to talk," Wilbur offered, and Tommy nodded, accepting the offer, knowing he'd never actually do that. It was probably a trick to get Tommy to reveal what would hurt him the most, so that Wilbur could use it against him. He had no intention of giving Wilbur that power. Not now. Not ever. He knew the damage one person with the right information could cause. He wasn't willing to risk it.

Words: 1000

A/N: I lost my earphones, so I have a choice of walking around outside (I have to go outside it's not my choice) with headphones or just listening to music out loud, and since I knew I wasn't going to see many ppl, it was easier to just listen out loud. However the issue with that is when I walk past a family with young children right as the song switches I have to gage how dodgy the next song is going to be, and how worth it it is to shut off my phone entirely and feel rlly awkward... Wilbur songs scare me-