They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 76

TW: mentions of abuse and anxiety

Tommy POV:

Tommy stared at Wilbur for a long time, trying to gage the truth in his words, trying to guess which answer would make him happy. He didn't know if he could trust Wilbur, but not trusting him could be far more dangerous.

"I'll play," Tommy decided after a few seconds of panicked thought. He didn't want to say no. If Wilbur said asking questions was ok, then it was probably safer then saying no.

"Are you sure?" Wilbur asked, and his voice was softer then Tommy expected. Tommy had expected those words would come, but he had thought they'd be out of anger, not this- whatever this was. He nodded silently, still watching Wilbur carefully, ready for an attack.

Wilbur gave him a small smile and rolled the dice once more. 4. Even.

"That's me!" Wilbur grinned, "Hmmm, when's your birthday?"

His birthday? He couldn't remember the last time he'd celebrated his birthday. He was fairly sure it had been with Tubbo and they'd had to hide it. Hadn't been anything special. Tommy didn't like birthdays, or well he didn't like his. It was supposed to be Tubbo's as well and it wasn't anymore and he hated that.

"9th of April," Tommy answered, because he knew he had no other choice. They'd know if he lied as soon as they read his file, which he knew they would do eventually. There was no point in lying, it's not like he'd still be here then anyway. He gave himself a month max, then he'd be moving on.

"Cool," Wilbur grinned, before rolling the dice once more, this time landing on 3, "That's you!"

"When's you're birthday?" Tommy asked tentatively, terrified as ever. He watched Wilbur's face, expecting some change, but the only difference was that his smile grew.

"14th of September, just passed," Wilbur said happily, "I got this jumper for my birthday."

The two continued this way, Wilbur rolling the dice and then one of them asking a question. It was all small stuff, like favourite or least favourite school subject. Somehow Tommy managed to always have at least 1 of Wilbur's questions to reuse when it was his turn. They were safe questions, ones that Wilbur had already approved. Over time, Tommy's terror eased to a more normal yet still insistent level of anxiety. With each question Tommy asked, the terror returned, and with each answer Wilbur provided happily, it lessoned. After a while, Wilbur asked a question about music, and he ended up playing his guitar for Tommy. It was nice, beautiful even. Tommy adored it. It felt safe in a way he hadn't in a long time. The songs changed, from happy to sad to some weird mix of both, but it was always beautiful.

Eventually they stopped when Phil came upstairs to tell them that lunch had arrived, and Techno was awake to eat it with them.

Wilbur once again helped Techno to move and Tommy followed them both downstairs. The silence stretched as they ate, broken randomly by jokes from Wilbur that Tommy didn't understand, but Phil and Techno seemed to appreciate heavily.

Tommy struggled to eat all the nuggets, knowing he'd get yelled at for wasting food if he didn't eat them, but also completely full from breakfast which had been a bigger meal then Tommy had eaten in a long time. It was just too much food. He didn't understand why they were wasting so much on him. He managed to finish it, but he felt sick by the end. It was good. It tasted amazing, and he really did love chicken nuggets, but he didn't understand why they were giving them to him. Only Puffy had ever given him chicken nuggets.

"So, Tommy, while we are all here, now is a pretty good time to talk about what this house is like," Phil began, and Tommy shrunk deep into his seat, terror filling him. Was this when they hit him? Phil seemed to notice his terror, and did his best to ease it somewhat, "We are just going to go through some rules, our boundaries, and that sort of thing. We won't hurt you if the rules get broken, there may be consequences, but we won't hurt you."

"He means it Tommy, I didn't believe it when I first came, but he means it," Techno said, his voice quiet, but certain, promising safety.

"The first rule is don't start fights, here or at school. If someone hurts you or one of your friends, you can defend yourselves, but don't throw the first punch. I will always hear you out on this. I will always hear your side, and I won't jump to conclusions ever but I also want you to be honest with me," Phil explained. Tommy could do that. It wasn't like he knew how to punch anyway, he just knew how to protect himself. The only issue would come when someone else started a fight then insisted he started it. What would happen then?

"The second rule is that I want to know where you are going when you leave. I don't want you to disappear with no explanation, because I'll be worried sick about you. The only exception to this rule is if you really don't feel safe, which I hope never happens, and you go to Eret. That is the only circumstance where you don't have to tell me, and that's because Eret will let me know you are safe," Phil continued, and Tommy nodded. He could do that, it's not like he's going anywhere unless this all goes to hell anyway.

"The third rule is to respect our boundaries, which we are about to go through. Once we're done, you can go through yours, and we'll respect them. If you want to add a new boundary, you can do so at any time, just let us know," Phil finished, "All these rules apply to all of us, Me, Techno, Wilbur and you. When I'm going out, I'll tell you. None of us are allowed to start fights, and none of us are allowed to break boundaries. Mistakes happen, and there is some leeway with that, but the rules are important."

Tommy could do that. Those weren't hard. It was the unspoken rules he was worried about. The ones that they thought were too obvious to tell him, but he actually had never been told, or thought don't apply.

"I'll go first with my boundaries," Wilbur offered, "Please don't talk about my birth mum unless I bring it up first. Please don't ask me about my therapy sessions and please don't read my unfinished music lyrics or my journal without my permission."

Tommy watched Wilbur as he spoke. Watched as the sadness crept into his eyes at the mention of his birth mother. Tommy had no intention of asking about it. It was clear that wasn't his to know about.

"I'll go next," Phil decided, "Please knock before going into my office if I'm there, and please don't go in without my permission if I'm not. Please don't watch the news while I'm around without warning me you are. That's all."

Tommy wanted to question the last one, but he knew better then that. Even though Wilbur had said questions were ok, Tommy knew not all of them are, and he had a feeling he would be in trouble for asking about it.

"Guess it's me next then," Techno sighed, "If I'm ever acting off, like I'm not myself, if I'm angry or I sound like something's not normal with me, get Wilbur, straight away, if he's not here get Phil, but Wilbur is the safer option. If I ever mention The BloodGod or The Masked Ones, get Wilbur. Get him quickly. It's important. If I'm ever yelling at you to get away, it's not you, but I will need you to get Wilbur. All of those are important, you can't forget them, ok? Don't under any circumstances come near me when I'm like that unless Wilbur says it's safe. Not even if I say your safe, I need you to just trust that. Please don't ask about any of that. Please in general don't come in my room without knocking and getting my approval to come in, Wilbur is an exception to that right now because of the concussion. Also please don't touch me without asking first."

That was... a lot. It was weird, and Tommy didn't understand it, but he made sure he remembered it. Techno had seemed both terrified and insistent as he said it, and Tommy didn't want to know what would happen if he didn't get Wilbur in those situations.

"What about you?" Wilbur prompted gently, looking to Tommy. Oh. He was supposed to say something... but he couldn't risk saying they can't do something... it was safer to just borrow Techno's last one.

"Please don't touch me without asking first," Tommy said in a small, terrified voice, expecting anger that didn't come.

Words: 1500

A/N: Thoughts? Ideas? Worries? I'd love to here them XD