They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 29

TW: mention of abuse, description of a breakdown

Silently Tommy followed Conner to a spot that had been parted for them between Quackity and Eret. As if it were the most natural thing, everyone parted for them, letting Conner sit next to Quakity. The usually overly energetic boy leaned slightly on Quackity's shoulder, and the elder whispered something to him. Tommy ignored the quiet conversation, as did the rest of them. It was clearly not intended to be heard.

Niki passed a container towards them.

"I was cooking last night, and I brought the leftovers for everyone to have some," She explained, and Conner quickly took one of the pastries. When Tommy hesitated Niki gave him a small smile and added "It's a three-cheese pastizzi, it's basically just a cheesy pastry, you're not allergic to anything right?"

Tommy shook his head, that at least he had been spared.

"Cool," Niki smiled, giving him a nod towards the pastry, encouraging him to eat it. Hesitantly Tommy reached for it, watching as she smiled at him, waiting for her to snap. She didn't. Odd. His fingers wrapped around the pastry, and her smile only seemed to increase. Slowly he picked it up. No reaction. No screaming. Nothing, just a simple smile. This was fucking weird. Carefully he put it in his mouth. She didn't yell at him, didn't attack him for it, just sat there smiling. Tommy didn't know what to think.

Quickly the conversation resumed as they continued the discussion they had been on previously about Sally's swimming competition coming up. Apparently they were all planning to watch and were now working out the plans for after that, calling it a celebration party, and insisting Sally was going to win, as though that was a certainty. Sally tried to argue otherwise, but her attempts were futile. So, celebration party it was.

"Do you wanna come Tommy?" Wilbur asked and Tommy looked up quickly from where he had been staring at the floor, only half paying attention. What did Wilbur mean? Tommy wasn't invited. This was a thing friends did, he was just some kid they hadn't decided to attack yet. Was this a ploy to get him alone off school grounds?

Even if it was a genuine offer, which Tommy highly doubted, Dream wouldn't let him.

"I don't know if I'd be allowed, sorry," Tommy replied, his voice almost impossible to hear, shaking and quiet and terrified. Wilbur just nodded, looking disappointed. Either that was fake or they had been trying to get him off school grounds to hurt him. Either way it didn't matter. Tommy couldn't go.

The conversation moved on once more until the bell for the end of recess rang. Pretty much everyone was up almost immediately, which meant Tommy's struggle to stand with his stupid broken rib was a little to obvious. Most of them didn't notice, but Techno moved to stand over Tommy as he struggled to his feet.

"Are you ok?" Techno asked, offering his hand to help him up. Tommy quickly finished standing up by himself, ignoring the sharp pain as he did so. He couldn't take Techno's hand. That left him open for attacks and showed his weakness, neither of which he could risk. When he was upright, he nodded, silently answering Techno's question.

"Really?" Techno asked. Tommy's eyes flicked around desperately, searching for an escape. By now the group had dispersed and it was just Techno and Tommy. He nodded again, terrified of what was sure to come.

"You're not sick from the rain or anything?" Techno asked and Tommy shrugged. He should be sick, he had a stupid fucking immune system, but he didn't seem sick yet. It could come in the next few days, or not at all if Tommy was lucky. He was rarely lucky.

"You look like your hurt Tommy. I know what it looks like and it looks like you," Techno said, his words certain, but spoken softly. Tommy just shrugged again, holding in the hiss of pain at the movement.

"See, there, when you shrugged it hurt. I know, Tommy. I've seen people get hurt, I know what it looks like. I just want to help you. Will you please come to the nurse with me?"

"I'm fine."

"Tommy..."

"Please," Tommy whispered, "I'm fine."

"You don't have to go to the nurse, just tell me ok? I can help. I know how to help."

Tommy just looked at his feet, refusing to say a word. He could lie, make up some shit about falling out of a tree or something, but that risked getting exposed as a lie, and that would go fucking awfully. Tommy had lied in the past, and he had gotten away with it a few times, but when he got caught it was always so much more painful. The truth which he had hidden to escape a beating would come out, as well as the fact that he had lied. It ended with double the pain and Tommy hated that. Hated all of it.

"Please, Tommy, I don't want to see you hurting, I want to help. Please, just let me help," Techno said and it sounded like he was begging. It was weird. It was wrong. Tommy didn't trust it, he couldn't. He slowly looked up at Techno and met his eyes, one normal, one damaged, both glistening with unshed tears.

What was Tommy supposed to do? He couldn't say no, but he couldn't say yes either. If he said yes, he'd be showing weakness. He wasn't allowed to do that, and if he said yes, it would just give them proof he's easy to hurt. What was he supposed to do!?

"Please," Techno whispered when Tommy just stared at him, "Please."

And Tommy broke. He broke because he hadn't heard that tone in 5 years. He broke because he could feel something from Techno and he didn't know what was happening. He broke because his mind forced him to remember the way Techno stood in front of him when Schlatt attacked him. He broke because he saw the way Techno carried him, sobbing, out of the rain. He broke because he remembered the way Techno understood that Tommy couldn't be dropped home. He broke because he saw the worry in Techno's eyes, and there was only two people who had ever looked at him like that. His brother and Puffy. No one else had managed to fake it that well, and maybe, just maybe that meant Techno wasn't faking it.

Most of all however, he broke because he looked at Techno and saw Tubbo. Saw the tears, the worry, the need to help and the helplessness. He looked Techno and saw Tubbo's face from the many times Tommy had stepped in front to take a blow, or when Tommy had been hurt. Techno was looking at him the way Tubbo had and it made him break, his whole mind collapsing in on itself as he lost all control of his body.

Tommy felt his body fall forward, felt it being caught, felt the tears streaming down his face, felt the way he shook against Techno, who turned to block Tommy from the view of any passers by. He felt his body break inside and out. It felt like every hurt he had been suppressing has just tripled in pain, and all of a sudden his body was on fire and his mind was filled with Tubbo. Tubbo who had been so small but feisty. Tubbo who had been able to make friend's so easily. Tubbo who had done everything to look after Tommy who always threw himself in between a punch and Tubbo. Tubbo who had encouraged him to eat, even when he couldn't stand the taste of the food, because they knew it was the last thing they'd eat for a long time. Tubbo who had protected Tommy as best as he could, while Tommy would've given his life to save him. Tubbo who had loved him. He had loved him. Tubbo had loved him. Dream was wrong. Dream had been wrong. Tubbo did not want Tommy to hurt. Tubbo never had. Tubbo had loved him. Really loved him. He had loved him and no one else had. He had been there and no one else had, and now Techno was offering that same look and Tommy wanted to trust it. He did trust it. And so he broke. He broke a thousand times again.

Techno held him up, held him together, and maybe he was saying something, but Tommy only heard his own, far too loud thoughts, screaming from the void. Screaming to be free. Screaming for the trust he wanted to feel. Screaming for the safety he felt in Techno's arms. He didn't know what to do. Didn't know how this was going to go, but amidst the pleas to trust Techno that were filling his mind, Tommy couldn't stop thinking of how this was going to hurt like hell when Techno hit him.

Words: 1500

A/N: thank you guys so much for the positive comments on this fic, it genuinely means so much to me and every time I see one of those amazing comments, even small ones saying you like it, it just makes me so happy I can't even describe it, thank you so so much, I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it