Trust or danger?

Chapter 3 - YN POV

Author note!

Before I go further with the story, I felt the need to explain yn past and why she behaves this way now.
I want you all to understand her better and judge her actions based on her previous experiences and relationships.

WARNING!!!!
This chapter will have some disturbing information about child abuse, so if you're sensitive to this topic or get triggered by this, I advise you to skip it!

      
                     Yn POV: Childhood

   We were just like any other normal family. Or so I thought at that time. I had an older brother, Sam. We got along so well! I loved him the most and I knew he also loved me.

Our childhood was not so great. We lacked a lot, from food,to money or clothes. And also parental love.
Our parents wanted us to be perfect dolls. Don't disturb them and be quiet.

We always played together in our room. We barely got outside, we were not allowed to. And even if we did, the other kids would avoid us like plague. Now I know why.

Our father was an alcoholic. He would often beat us both, without any reason. And also mother. She was always angry , so she took it on us. Especially on me. She really hated me. I never felt loved by my parents. I knew since little I was never wanted.

As we grew older, we understood we need to keep them happy so we  won't get beaten anymore and receive food. Yes, they punished us both by starving us.
My brother hated them, but we were little kids and had no power.

As we started to get bigger, my body started to get more feminine and my mother was jealous. She always called me stupid, fat cow, useless and a liar. I would get beaten even when I didn't open my mouth.
If Sam tried to interfere, we would both be punished.
Also they hated our relation and often tried to separate us.

We would be sent to different grandparents, me to my mother side, and Sam to our father side, during all our vacations.
We often couldn't talk for months. I hated our summer vacation. This was the hardest for us. We would rather be at home, abused  but together, rather than alone.

When I was 16 and Sam 18, our father decided we should all go to his parents place, in the country side. For the whole summer vacation! We didn't say a word and packed fast as the wind.

It was the first time I would go there, but also my first vacation with Sam!
We were both so happy! Little did I knew it was my last summer with him...

I really disliked it here. It was smelly, dirty and all the adults were drunk everyday.
My father and uncle would always make jokes about my body and ask me if I have a boyfriend or if I'm having sex.

I was so scared and ashamed. Sam was annoyed by this, but what could he do? He just listened to them, in silence.
We often talked about how we are going to run away in a few years, and go so far away from them, so they could never reach us!

I miss those days! He was my other half... we could talk for hours and we always enjoyed being together, just the two of us.

One day, our father went to the next village with the car. He didn't came back and it was almost dinner time, 8 pm I believe.
So our mother send us to bring him home. I didn't want to go, it was really far. But she slapped my face and yelled at me, saying I will be left behind and never brought back home if I talk back to her.
Sam took my hand and we went, by foot, to search for our drunken father.

We walked for 3 hours I suppose, until we found his car near a bar. But we couldn't find him. Even if it was summer, after 11pm, it was rather dark.
We tried to ask people around but they were to drunk to hear us or understand who we were searching for.