If Only

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If only,
I could lean on your shoulder without the feeling
Of butterflies fluttering around in my stomach;
A warmth setting into my soul
And my brain filling with serotonin.

If only,
I could speak out loud the words I write
Each one describing you beautifully,
Telling you how your eyes remind me of rain
And whisper I love you under my breath.

If only,
I could learn to let go of feelings that hurt me,
Things that are never meant to be.
To accept that life is what it is,
This is the meaning of reality.

If only.
The two saddest words of existence
Filled with thoughts of what could've been
Or what I could've done
And what I wish to be.

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