Ships in the Night

Chapter 16: Pain on the beach

The wind blew in your hair softly on the drive down to the beach. Your leg bounced with the feeling of nerves and excitement about heading to the beach with Liz. It wasn't just traveling with Lizzie to the beach, but it was meeting your all time celebrity crush, the Scarlett Johansson.

You were really trying to hide your nervousness from Liz, you didn't want her to see you as some ridiculous melodramatic fan, but you really couldn't help it. Therefore, trying to hide your emotions- you glanced out of the window, the wind kissing your cheeks, flowing through your hair once more.

That feeling of the wind, always made you feel comfortable, when you closed your eyes sometimes, just once you can feel utterly at peace, at least until you come back to reality. At least, that's how it used to be. Until, of course your reality twisted itself into something unexpected and unimaginable, now sat here driving to meet Scar at the fucking beach.

A sudden hand placement on your thigh made you jump and leave your thoughts as your tilted your head to the location the hand was coming from. Lizzie was looking at you, a concerned expression on her face as squeezed your thigh lightly.

Was it hot in here? No, you're just internally combusting.

"Are you okay, Y/N/N?" her voice was soft against the heavy feeling of the wind. It was contrasting in the best of ways.

"Yes, of course why?" You tried to play it completely cool, but you could tell she knew.

"Y/N, you're amazing at hiding things sometimes.. However, your leg is bouncing up and down and your constantly staring out the window shifting in your seat," she looked at you pointedly.

Fuck, did she examine your body language this often? Were you really that readable?

"Oh... um-" You hesitated. You weren't used to people reading you so easily, usually you were incredible at hiding your emotions, truly. Apparently not from Lizzie Olsen.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, it's just you don't have to be nervous you know? Scarlett is a lovely person and Rose is a bundle of joy," Lizzie giggled softly.

You glanced back over at her and she smiled at you reassuringly. Somehow you had no idea how to explain it, but a smile like her's could make the world glow, it was like starlight. Perhaps that was a bit excessive, but sometimes you just looked at her and you could breathe, you felt she wasn't the type to lie towards you for the sake of it, which was comforting by a big extent.

Letting out a sigh you nodded your head before turning the radio down to express your emotions.

"I'm nervous and excited you know?," you looked over at her and she smiled reassuringly and nodded waiting and listening for you to continue.

"It's not that Scarlett is a scary person, she seems lovely. It's just my whole life I've always challenged and been brought up in this concept I have to be perfect. That I have to be good enough for everyone and if I'm not good enough for everyone then I'm not even good enough for myself. Growing up watching films with you and Scarlett in, felt like I didn't need to be like that. Yet, sometimes those emotions come back and now I feel like this pressure. That she has this big expectation of me and what if I don't fit into that expectation she has? If I don'f fit into that box and I'm on the outside... that's all I'll ever be, if my own idol sees me that way, what does that even make me?"

You took a big breathe after saying all of that. Holy shit, as soon as you started spilling your emotions, your feelings you just couldn't stop. It was like someone had open the flood gates and the words spilled willingly and uncontrollably, sitting next to Lizzie you felt like she wouldn't judge. But now, now you were petrified she was going to.