Ships in the Night

Chapter 18: The lies were white

Y/N's POV:
(TW- Panic attacks and alcohol consumption)

Without awareness of the road or the rain, the car moved over the highway, lights on full beam. Alice had driven you as she had only had one drink that night, apparently so she could 'keep an eye on you.'

It made sense though and you were grateful for the fact she was able to drive you. Sure, you were still pissed at Lizzie. Hell that was a fucking understatement, but it didn't mean you stopped caring. It would of course be easier if that were the case, but apparently not.

Turning your head to your left, you noticed Alice was practically speeding there herself. If it weren't due to the circumstances you'd found yourselves in you would have laughed. She didn't know Elizabeth too well, but for her Lizzie simply being in your life and you caring was enough. Well, almost aside from the fact she was of course a die hard fan.

You felt the oncoming wave of nausea hit you hard and fast again as Scarlett's voice rang heavy in your ears.

"She's locked herself in the bathroom."

You'd never forget the incoming feeling of utter anxiety and sickness. She can't do what she did to you all those years ago. Not again, you can't go through the endless hours of blaming yourself for the what if's and should've done.

*
Flashback:

"You stupid bitch," your mother's voice echoed down the phone causing you to flinch slightly.

"Wh-What are you talking about?"

She didn't speak to you like this, she never had. Therefore to hear the utter venom pouring from her voice, poisoning you inside out hurt. It felt like a knife twisting deep within you.

"Don't lie like you don't know," She seethed on the other end.

You were so confused, lost and scared. This wasn't normal, it felt like a horrible nightmare with which you needed to wake up from.

As you walked into your bedroom after leaving work, your switched on the light with more hesitancy than usual. It was as if your body knew something was off, something in the water's and in the air smelt foul in more ways than one.

The phone shook next to your ear as you struggled to maintain composure with your mother's words. Turning your head to the left you sat down on the bed, eyes brimming with tears.

You hated confrontation and this was one of the many times you'd come to learn why. Why you hated your mother, yourself and above her for what she did.

"It's Angie," she spat with cold malice.

The line went dead and your body went cold.

*

Your eyes watered at the memory bringing back floods of pain and suffering to the surface. She had to be okay, you needed to make it better. You had to make this right.

Alice removed one hand from the wheel, placing it on your knee causing you to jump at the unexpected contact. She could tell you were getting lost in memory and thought and not the good kind ether.

See, Alice was there for you at the time. She wasn't just there to help you when she did what she did and your mother tore you apart. She was there that night as you allowed every part of you break.

"It won't happen, I promise," she mumbled to you supportingly knowing.

She always knew and always will. You weren't sure if you were grateful for her knowing or if it made you more ashamed that she knew your darkest secrets. The darkest secret.