Ꭱꭼꮇꭼꭰꭹ [Ꮇꮖɴꮯꮋꭺɴ]

✧ Ꮁ̵ꭺꮖꮮꮜꭱꭼ ✧

『••✎••』

The weather is finally getting cold! Christmas is around the corner, can't wait~

"Binnie!"

Changbin turned at the sound of his voice, eyes landing on the excited blonde running down the aisle towards him. "They have cartoon crackers! The ones with the frosting on them!" Felix waved the package in his face, overly hyper over something so small.

"That's nice, Felix."

Changbin gently grabbed onto his wrist and lowered his arm, taking the snack and throwing it in the shopping cart. "We can get them." They were buying ingredients for dinner according to Felix. He wanted to spend time together and just get that 'quality' date nights back.

"Love."

Changbin stopped pushing the cart, pausing in his step. He turned to look at Felix who was drowning in self-doubt, fiddling with his fingers. "What?"

"You called me Felix." He spoke softly, dropping his arms with a sad smile. "...You stopped calling me 'love." Felix shrugged, continuing down the aisle like nothing happened.

Changbin had to deal with all his inner turmoil by himself. There wasn't anyone to turn to other than Chan but even then that would be awkward. How could he ask him for help when Changbin was the cause for this entire mess anyway?

Despite all that, did he deserve this? Changbin was aware of the pain he put Felix through but was it right for Felix to try and keep him in this relationship that he knew he no longer had love for? It's straining the both of them and one more than the other.

"Felix. Hold on-" Changbin reached forward and grabbed onto his arm. "Honestly, how long do you plan to keep this up?"

Felix looked around quickly, awkwardly laughing at the attention they were catching through the market. "Don't make a scene, Binnie!" Felix hissed out his words but kept a smile up on his face that was not at all genuine. "And what're you talking about?"

Changbin gestured between the two of them. "Us. Felix, we can't continue-"

Felix yanked his arm free, smoothing down his clothes before turning down the aisle once again. "Yes we can. Now, stop it."

And that was the end of it since Felix couldn't bear to hear anymore and Changbin couldn't find the words to express himself.

·゜-: ✧ :- ❃ -: ✧ :-゜·

"Babe! Food's almost ready."

As soon as they'd gotten home...or just Changbin's apartment, the said male had booked it to his room and locked the door. He needed time to himself, to gather his thoughts before interacting again.

His time had run out when he heard Felix call for him downstairs.

Seeing Felix cook in one of his big sweaters should've been a cute thing, a feeling of love and endearment should have blossomed in Changbin's chest but it didn't. He didn't feel any of that anymore- with that realization it made everything hurt more.

"Why're you so far Binnie?" Changbin was watching him cook from the counter, a few steps too far for Felix's liking. "Come here." Felix grabbed his arms and guided it around him, humming a song as if everything was fine.

Changbin kept his grip light, his body language was extremely awkward. He moved to sit on one of the kitchen stools once Felix had finished, thanking him for dinner despite the fact that he wasn't hungry.

"So how's work? With the kids and everything."

"Not bad, just been helping out in the foster homes and interviewing hopeful parents."

"How about you? How's the bakery going so far?" A good question that would have Felix talking for the majority of the time.

And it worked until Felix understood what he was doing. "You barely touched your food." Felix looked down at his plate that was barely picked at. "Do you not like it?"

Changbin shook his head, not in the mood for eating at the moment. "No, it's delicious, I just don't think I can eat anymore." The younger pouted but stood to take his plate away and wash it before Changbin could say anything.

Felix anxiously scrubbed at the dishes, biting his bottom lip. He was trying his best, he really was and he wasn't sure what he'd do if that still wasn't enough.

He cleaned up, wore one of Changbin's hoodies, made dinner and dessert but maybe it still wasn't enough. He was trying to overcompensate for the fact that Changbin's love was nonexistent. Felix knew that but he didn't believe it and he wouldn't no matter what was said.

"I made brownies..." Felix placed the plate of perfectly squared treats in front of the male, a hopeful smile on his face. "They're your favorite." His last resort. 

Changbin sighed, pushing the plate away with a heavy heart. "I...not anymore. Felix, I'm sorry." He was hoping Felix would take this in two ways, not just about the brownies.

"Eat it!" Felix banged his hand down onto the table, losing the small handle he had on his emotions. The plates clinked from the impact, making Changbin jerk back in surprise. "You told me you loved them, you wouldn't lie about that to me, right?" His voice quivered as he talked, eyes starting to water the longer Changbin took to eat.

Changbin had to look away, if he stared at Felix any longer then he'd cry himself too. "...Okay' His hands shook as he reached for one of the brownies, he had to swallow back bile from the guilt encasing his mind. He made Felix like this and he'd have to deal with it. 

As much as he wanted Felix to let him go for the both of them, he couldn't. There was no way he could leave Felix to deal with this by himself.

Changbin bit into the corner of the brownie, having to will himself to actually bite down. The usual warm, chocolatey sweet flavor he'd be hit with every time before was replaced with a feeling of emptiness in his chest and left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He dropped the brownie on the plate and when he looked back up at Felix, Changbin felt as if he could hear his heart shattering through the silence.

Before Changbin could say anything, Felix spoke first. "You're faking all of this, you love me. I know you do." Felix clutched his hands, wringing them nervously.

"No, You can't possible believe that-"

"But I do!" Felix moved forward and clamped his hands on Changbin's shoulders. He was desperate, clinging on to a relationship that was far beyond repair. "Just do me this one favor, please? Don't leave me, you can't."

"That isn't fair." Changbin spoke softly, removing his hands and holding them in his lap. He turned his head, not wanting to witness Felix break down in his lap.

"I know, I know but I can't help but be a little selfish." Felix placed a hand on his cheek, guiding his gaze back to him and resting their foreheads together. "My love can be enough for the both of us." 

『••✎••』

Sorry for the little heart ache! Then next chapter will be a bit more 'cute'💛🖤

[1170 Words]