Sedatephobia: Mikaelson's Soulmate

Plan B

"Should I be concerned that you have men's clothes in your bedroom?" Henrik questioned as River handed him a spare shirt so that she could wear his jumper.

"Nope." River deadpanned, "It's your brother's."

"Well that makes me feel so much better." Henrik mumbled, passing the shirt between either of his hands.

"The longer you take to get ready the higher chance there is of me carrying your child and after a while I think I'm just going to leave without you." River reasoned.

"The first part of that sentence didn't sound as bad as you're making it out to be." Henrik added as he put on the shirt.

"It's not happening." River denied. "If I find out I'm pregnant from last night or this morning, I personally will give you a penectomy."

"Don't you mean vasectomy?"

"I know what I mean."

-----

"It's your penis." River whisper-shouted at Henrik. "You're paying for it."

"I'll pay for it but I'm not buying it." Henrik tried to reason in a hushed tone.

"Why not?" River challenged.

"It's your-" Henrik started but cut himself off as one of the elderly ladies who worked at the pharmacy walked past the pair and their quiet argument. "It's your body." He continued once the woman was out of earshot.

"Now is the time men don't want to override women's bodily autonomy." River muttered, mainly to herself.

"I'm not doing it." Henrik stated, "Do you really need it?"

"Yes, we were hardly safe." River explained.

"We used a condom." Henrik objected before returning the glare he received from the cashier who had just overheard him.

"The first time." River added, "If only your definition of safe sex compared to your siblings' definition of keeping me safe from your mother."

"Firstly, we used a condom more than once, trust me, I  remember." He continued.

"If your next sentence is about include the phrase 'condoms don't feel as good' I will kill myself and the possible clump of cells inside of me." River threatened.

"Secondly, " He started, ignoring River's comment, "I was still keeping you safe from my mother. If I had a dollar for each protection spell I did on you before we left I could pay for this overpriced pill and still have money left over."

"Well I can't buy it." 

"Why not?" Henrik questioned.

"If I do it, society says I'm a slut. If you do it, society says you're a responsible dad. So...," She trailed off.

"Well that's one hell of a double standard." Henrik muttered.

"Welcome to being a women." River invited. "Now go." She added before pushing Henrik towards the cashier.

-----

"Thank you for paying." River apologised as she cuddled into his side. 

"For the morning-after pill or for the pancakes you consumed in less than three minutes?" Henrik challenged as he tightened his arm around her side, his hand resting on her soulmark.

"Both." River admitted guiltily as she ate the rest of Henrik's pancakes which he couldn't finish.

"My siblings are going to burn me at the stake for this." Henrik muttered as he cupped the side of River's face.