Straight Men Don't Date Alphas

Cute Action

Dan

Alcohol? What is it? Cause I totally erased it from my dictionary.

I hate the mornings I wake up after drinking, they are the worst, still I keep on drinking cause I'm used to the stomach ache and nauseous feeling. I'm also used to the numbing sensation in my core and I absolutely like it, but this morning was different, I was not numb, I was conscious and embarrassed, deeply embarrassed of myself.

I kissed mr. Kim!! I kissed him!

I'm the one who moved for the kiss, I know that, I remember that, and I can't take that image out of my head.

He was about to end it all and I just.. I hate me.

How many times I screamed today? Many, many times. It started when I woke up and it was the first thing I did after reading a sweet message from mr. Keen and remembering what happened yesterday, I screamed all of sudden in a bus on my way to work, an old lady on the bus told me to seek god cause I might be possessed.

It's a defense mechanism I developed to protect myself from cringing memories, if I remember something I don't want to remember, I immediately snap into a loud short cry, so my mind can get distracted for a bit.

Sam didn't help me at all, I told him that my peaceful days at work are ruined forever and he was like 'so what? Fuck off'! I mean.. that bitch owes me money worth three months of rent, if I fuck shit up at work we'd be homeless.

Naz didn't help either, Matter of fact, she made things worse. She noted how weird I acted today and decided to make it her priority to bush me over the edge to tell her.

Today was shity, no one was by my side, even the old lady telling me I'm possessed or the newbie who spelled coffee over my favorite jacket, though it's not my favorite anymore and I immediately threw it in the trash can, but still the point is today was not good.

But I kept on being calm and collective, until I received a message from mr. Keen telling me to wait for him after work so he can drive me home, I really really really didn't want to see him today.

But I did, I saw him. I waited after work for him and got into his car to let him drive me back.

The thing is I don't want to lead him on, I don't want him to go on something I'm not sure of, it's just like the mix signals I got from my high school crush, it hurts.

And I don't want to hurt him for liking me, ever.
So I wanted to end things before it get bigger.

But the moment I saw his face when I got in his car I couldn't utter a word, every thought in my head evaporated, I found myself drowning in his oceans, and surprisingly his pheromones.

When I was a kid living in a village, the most thing that I liked was going to the open fields in the mornings, letting the cold breeze hit my head and tingle my nose, it made me high.

I don't know why I got flashbacks from my childhood, but I felt the same freshness I used to feel, it's not even about the kind of scent his pheromones has, I still can't tell what kind of scent he has, I have a bad sense of smell after all, but somehow it smelled like that breeze, it was stupid to say that he has the same scent of an open field breeze I know, but the effect is similar, I got a bit high on his pheromones again.

"Are you alright? Dan?!"

"What? Yes."

"What I was saying?"

Fuck, I didn't even notice I was spacing out, somehow I didn't even remember anything I said since I got in his car.

"What's going on in this beautiful mind?"

Mr. Keen gave me a fade smile and pat my head, my eyes looked at him wide open with surprise so he moved his hand back immediately and started the engine, then I realized that the car has not moved yet.

"Are you alright?"

He asked as he made a turn to leave the garage. I looked at him and noticed how his expressions has changed since I got in, I felt guilty of hurting his feelings not letting him pat my head. I'm definitely giving him mixed signals.

"I'm alright. What about you?"

"I'm alright, I'm alright."

He said and gave a small laugh, I don't know why he laughed, but I'm afraid to ask seeing how he looked annoyed, his eyebrows made a v shape and the way he angrily looked at the road, if he looked at me like that I'd be scared. He clung his fists on the steering wheel so hard his veins popped out. I don't understand him at all, is this all cause of the pat?

But surprisingly his pheromones kept the same tone, so I didn't freak out, still I was afraid to say a word.

I felt like me and him both were walking on eggshells trying to interact with each other, seems toxic, maybe I am toxic.

"Say Dan.. yesterday, you remember?"

"Yes."

"Still, you were drunk."

"Yes."

"So it does not count."

What?!

I turn my head to take a good look at him and make sure that his words match his face, still he looks the same.. upset.

"Why aren't you answering?"

Cause I don't know what to say?

"Since I was drunk, then it does not count. Next time I should be sober."

I'm so toxic, now I'm fully aware of that, I could have turned him down long ago, I could have even turned him down at this moment, but I didn't and the little smile that lifted the corners of his mouth cause of what I said has moved me a little so I didn't regret what I said.

"Friday."

"Yes?"

"My birthday, it's on Friday. I want you to come."

Well I can't say no, can I?

"Alright."

"Great, I'll send a car to pick you up."

"No need. Happy birthday."

"Thank you."

I get lost in my imagination easily, mr.keen has been pulling me to reality every two minutes or so talking to me, but every time we go silent I go back to my thoughts, I imagined a life where I lived alone my whole life, another life where I found a beautiful beta girl, and a life where mr. Keen is deeply in love with me.

All of these futures seem nice, but I kissed mr. Keen and I liked it, which is a good reason to date him, on the contrary I still don't have a good reason to not date him, so I made up my mind.

"Your neighbor seems to be the nosy kind."

"Huh?"

Oh.

He pulled me back to reality again and then I noticed that the car has already stopped moving, parked next to my apartment building, me and mr. Keen sitting silently looking at our neighbor standing next to the entrance door looking back at us.

"Give her another minute, she'll leave."

And she did leave, and with no tea to spell, what is she going to gossip about? Me getting a ride from a handsome man in a fancy car?

I left the car saying my goodbyes but mr. Keen got out too. I heard him calling my name so I walked around the car to get closer to him.

Every time I stand close to him I get upset by the height difference, I look up and he looks down, that's how we are able to make an eye contact.

He put his palm around my neck and moved his lips closer to me, I thought he was going to kiss me but his lips touched my forehead.

"See you on my birthday."

No words, I didn't know what to say. I only watched him get back into his car and drive away. My smile only grew bigger by his cute action.