him and i - joão felix

eighteen

"you'll see." he said, smiling.

we drove for a bit. we began to get closer and closer to what looked like a beach and he pulled into the parking lot. he took my hand in his and we walked down onto the sand, i was surprised that no one was there.

he put a blanket down on the sand and sat down on it, pulling me into his lap. it became clear to me, he took me to watch the sunset. the view of the pink sky reflecting off the water was beautiful. so beautiful in fact, i could look at it all day.

it sounds a bit crazy, but i've never actually watched the sunset before. it quickly became my second favorite view, besides joão of couse.

the sound of the waves and the pink sky made me relax into his lap. i don't think i would trade this moment for anything.

"this is beautiful." i said.

"just like you." he smiled.

"do you do this a lot?"

"only when i'm stressed or need a break." he admitted.

"are you stressed right now?"

"no, i just wanted to share this with you." he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me even closer onto him. i i couldn't stop smiling. this couldn't have been more perfect.

"joão, i need to tell you something." he turned his head slightly to the side to let me know he was listening. "i talked to my family and i'm coming to qatar with you."

"what?!" he exclaimed. "really?"

"yes." he softly kissed the back of my neck then rested his chin on my shoulder.

we sat like this for a while. even when it got dark, we just sat and watched the water sway back and forth as the breeze blew my hair to the side. we only left when it started getting too cold, to the point where both of us were shivering.

-

the next morning, i woke up before joão. normally he woke up first because i liked to sleep in but he slept in even later than me. i guess that's what waking up early every day for practice can do to you.

i just watched him for a while, not in a creepy way, just admiring him. i don't know how i ever got so lucky. he opened his eyes slowly to see me already looking at him.

"can i help you?" he said, sleepily.

"no." i smiled and continued to stare.

"why are you staring?"

"why not?"

his game was at 7pm today against brazil. i hoped they would win but i know that the chances of that are probably slim.

we had to be there at 5:30 so i decided i would start getting ready since it was already pretty late.

i got up to shower, leaving him in bed. when i got out of the shower, i wrapped my hair up in a towel because i wanted to let it air dry and wear it natural today.

he got up to shower after me and i started getting ready. i put on the jean shorts and his jersey and began putting product in my hair.

joão got out of the shower and put on shorts and a t-shirt since he would just change into his uniform there. he came and wrapped his arms around me, watching me as i did my makeup.

"have i ever told you that you are the most beautiful girl i've ever seen?" he said.

"maybe one or two times." i smiled.

-

joão left me at my seat to go warm up. he insisted on kissing me before he left for 'good luck.' i was just waiting for the game to start until a girl came up to me.

"are you and joão seriously dating?" she asked.

"yeah, why? who are you?"

"oh wow. i never pictured him to be a cheater."

"what do you mean? a cheater?"

"he was dm-ing my friend on instagram calling her bad and stuff. i just thought you should know." she showed me a screenshot on her phone so i had her send it to me on instagram. she turned to walk away right after.

did she mean that joão was cheating on me? i mean, she had to have been if she said he was talking to her friend. if this is true, i can't believe i even trusted him. i told him about my past and i let him get close to me. i guess all men are alike, even people that i thought would never do anything like that. he even promised me he would never the night we made it official.

i excused myself to the bathroom, looking at the screenshot once more. it was either real or edited amazingly. i didn't see anything wrong with it.

i looked in the mirror at myself. my makeup started to smudge because of the tears running down my face. i cleaned it up as best as i could and went back to my seat. people around me looked at me weird which made me believe that they could tell i had been crying. i just wanted to go home but i couldn't because joão was my ride.

the teams filed out onto the field for their nationals anthems. as brazils was playing joão looked over to wear i was sitting and flashed a smile in my direction. i didn't smile back, or wave. he gave me a confused look, like he was trying to ask what was wrong with his eyes. he couldn't do anything more because the anthem ended and they were about to start.

-

joão wasn't playing very well today. in fact, he got subbed off in the second half. portugal was losing 2-0. they just couldn't find a way to score. not until ronaldo was fouled in the box, giving portugal a penalty kick.

of course ronaldo scored it, why wouldn't he. he's one of the best players of his generation. the whole team ran to congratulate him because it meant that they were back in the game and had a chance to tie it up.

while the team was celebrating, joão looked over to me with sad eyes. i wasn't even celebrating their goal. maybe it hurt him, maybe it didn't, but i didn't care.

-

this is even making me nervous for them... do you think he cheated on her?