him and i - joão felix

forty six

it was about a week after the funeral and i stood outside my grandma's house for the last time ever. even though it's technically my parents house now, it was my grandma's for so long. i was kinda sad that i'd never come here again because i have so many memories in this house.

joão and i are leaving to soon back to madrid so we helped them finish up the house before they put it up for sale. i grabbed the last few things that i didn't grab when i cleared out my clothes and helped them clean the house.

i looked at the house and took in the view one last time before getting in the car. we headed back to his house to grab our suitcases and clean ourselves up before our flight. i repacked everything last night and everything was ready to go.

we showered and grabbed our suitcases, heading right back out the door that we walked in not long ago. we drove to the airport and got on the plane right away. we sat next to each other, he let me have the window seat.

night flights are always better than daytime flights. i opened the window to look out at the dark sky, the view was amazing. i felt a pair of eyes staring at me. i felt his eyes burn into the side of my head.

"i want to talk to you about something." he said, causing me to turn my head and look at him.

"about what?"

"after doing some thinking, i think i'm gonna move clubs. i wanted to tell you because it would affect our life, and we'd probably have to move again."

"oh, why do you want to do that?" i asked.

"i just feel like, i don't know. i can't fulfill my whole potential with atletico madrid. what do you think about us moving?"

"i think that i'll support whatever decision you make." i smiled and turned back to the window, letting my smile fall.

"that means a lot to me." he said, laying his head on my shoulder and starting to go on his phone.

everything i had just said was true, i would support him. but i couldn't help but feel upset. i mean, it's like we had just gotten to madrid. and now what? moving again. i've lived in three different countries in the past year.

it's like i just made friends. i didn't want to leave lina behind. the same thing happened with georgina, we barely have talked since the move.

i was so deep in thought that i didn't realize joão had moved his head and was looking at me now. he was saying something but i didn't make out the words.

"bea? did you hear me?"

"no, sorry. what did you say?"

"i asked if you're okay."

"i'm fine." i said.

"no you aren't. i know you. i can tell that something is bothering you."

"okay, i guess you're right."

"so, what is it?" he placed his hand on my knee.

"i don't know why i'm upset. i want the best for you and your career." i took a breath. "i feel like i've moved around so much lately. i want to stay in one place."

"i know." he whispered. "i'm sorry, i don't want to force you to move if you don't want to. if you don't want to, we can figure something else out." he said.

"i just want to be with you. if it means moving again, i'll do it. i'm just upset over nothing."

"no, your feelings are valid. i'm glad you told me. we need to talk about things like that."

"i agree. how long do you think until we move?"

"i have no clue, i need to make a decision about which club i want to go to first. i don't even know where we'd move yet. we can talk more about this once i start to figure things out, if you change your mind, please tell me." he reassured.

"i will." i smiled.

-

we got off the plane and walked into the airport. before i know it, arms wrapped around me and i heard a squeal.

"bea! i missed you so much!" lina said.

"i missed you too lina!" i laughed. "what are you doing here? it's so late."

"you're my best friend and i haven't seen you in two weeks. of course i was going to be here! how are you, how have you been?" she asked.

"not so great, but things are getting better." i smiled.

"i'm here if you wanna talk." she reassured.

"thank you lina. i'm so grateful for you."

"i'm grateful for you too." we smiled at each other.

i looked over towards joão, who was staring at us. i expected to see mateo around, but i didn't.

"hey lina." joão smiled.

"hey! how are you!"

"good, excuse me. i'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick before we leave. i'll meet you back right here?" he said.

"sounds good." i smiled. "where's mateo?" i asked when he walked away.

she looked down at her shoes, her cheery expression gone. "yeah, you missed a bit." she said.

"i'm sorry i wasn't here." i said. "but i'm here now to talk, if you want to."

"it's not your fault, you couldn't be here. why don't we hang out tomorrow, i'll tell you everything then."

"yeah, that works. you can come over while joão is at practice."

"okay, text me the details. i'm gonna go home now though, it's super late. i'll see you tomorrow." she hugged me one more time and walked off.

"where'd lina go?" joão asked when he came back from the bathroom. he wrapped his arm around me as we began to walk to the car.

"home, it's late. she's coming over tomorrow though." i said.

"ahhh, alright."

we walked the rest of the way to the car and climbed in. we pulled into the driveway and i let out a sigh of relief. it felt nice to finally be home again and away from everything.

i left my suitcase downstairs, figuring that i'd deal with it all tomorrow. i walked up the stairs with joão behind me and into our room, falling onto our bed. i missed the comfiness of this bed and the comfort of this house.

-

80k reads!? that's so crazy! thank you guys so much! i love you all! also, joão is looking reallyyyyyyy good in blue tbh 😇 i guess i'm a chelsea fan now 😜😜