him and i - joão felix

twenty nine

coming back out onto the pitch, you could see the confidence drained from some players eyes. when i looked at joão, he just looked stressed.

the referee blew the whistle, indicating the start of the game. both teams moved with the same reasoning, winning.

morroco quickly got another shot on goal, but costa saved it. substitutions came soon after, finally bringing ronaldo onto the field. it brought me some more hope, seeing that he is one of the best players of his generation. arguably the best, next to messi.

the small children near me cheered for their father as he looked over where we were seated with a slight smile.

he instantly changed the dynamic on the field and hoped to create more chances. the teams continued to play, both sides doing well. it was enjoyable to watch even though my country was losing.

portugal continued to take shots but their goal keeper was great at saving them. both sides brought in more substitutions to try and turn the game in their favor.

ronaldo played the ball to joão on the edge of the box, giving him an amazing opportunity which he took. he kicked it with power, placing it at the top right of the goal. it looked like it would be going in, even the fans began to cheer, but the goalie got a hand on it at the last second.

i looked down at him and he looked at me. i tried to give him an encouraging smile, but time was running out. i still had faith that they could get one in to tie it, but they only had a little bit of time.

both teams continued to take more shots, ronaldo being one of them. he kicked down the middle of the goal, but again, it was saved. the game continued to the end as the teams continued to pass snd try to score. both sides continued to foul and even earned some yellow cards.

soon enough, the time did run out and the ref blew the final whistle. morocco fans cheered and screamed, jumping up and down, while portugal fans were quiet.

ronaldo had walked off the pitch right away, it was heartbreaking to see. he wouldn't have another chance to play in the world cup like his other teammates, this was his last one.

what was more heartbreaking though, was seeing joão. he sat on his knees, crying. all i wanted to do was run out there and comfort him but i couldn't. a tear shed from my eye from seeing him like this.

normally georgina and i would wait for the stadium to start clearing before making our way down, but we went down right away today. we grabbed all of the kids, pulling them along with us to make our way down.

the team was already in the locker room when we finally made it down so we waited. i saw my uncle walk out while crying. i pulled him into a hug before he continued his way to the bus.

joão was the second to last one out. he came out with puffy, red eyes. i couldn't stand to see him like that. he stood in front of me, just looking at me like he didn't know what to do.

"come here." i whispered, pulling him to me. he sobbed into my shoulder for a few minutes and i cried with him. "it's okay." i said into his ear.

i still faced the doors to the locker room, so i was able to see the last one come out. ronaldo was sobbing as he walked over to his family. georgina wrapped him in a hug, same as i did with joão. we both exchanged looks of sorrow then refocused our attention on our men.

"it's all my fault. if only i would have just shot the ball differently, or passed it. anything. i missed all of my shots."

"hey, look at me." he looked up with tears streaming down his face. "it's not your fault at all. that goalie was really good. you can't put all of the blame on yourself. you played amazing, your whole team did. i know it didn't go the way we wanted it to, but look how far you made it! that's more than other countries have."

"you're right." he said as he returned his head to my shoulder.

"you still have next world cup. and probably a few after that."

"yeah." he pulled away and took my hand, walking to the bus.

-

the bus ride back to the hotel was was quiet, accompanied by some sniffles. no one spoke to each other and everyone went straight to their rooms when we arrived, including me and joão.

he hopped in the shower while i changed into something more comfortable and put my hair back into a low, messy bun. he came out wearing only sweatpants and laid face down on the bed.

i finished what i was doing and laid next to him. when he finally moved, it was to put his head on my chest and wrap his arms around my waist.

"thank you for being there for me and encouraging me this whole tournament. i couldn't have made it this far without you." he spoke softly.

"i would do it again. i'd do anything for you." i said and i meant it.

i felt him smile against me. he lifted his head and kissed me softly before laying back down and dozing off.

-

i woke up the next morning next to joão. he didn't have practice today since they were out of the cup. we woke up late and stayed in bed until the late afternoon, neither of us wanting to get up. but would be leaving tomorrow so we had to get up eventually to pack.

i placed everything i had brought back in my suitcase, leaving out the things i would be changing into or using before we leave.

joão packed at the same time as me, doing the same thing as me. when we finished, we went down to the lobby for one last team dinner before we left.

we sat around the long table like we had multiple times already. everyone talked about their favorite parts of the tournament and reminiscing on their accomplishments.

we returned to our hotel room for our last night and went to sleep, only to wake up in the morning to board a plane back home.

-

i may or may not have shed a tear while writing this. anyways i hope you guys are enjoying so far 😫