Chapter 32

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Tanjiro's pov

It had been three days since we had no food, Y/n-san only repeating that body's suffering motivates the mind to be stronger and focused. Even though she asked us to focus and meditate for hours on end previously, they were always the times where she allowed us to leave after a while. This time, we had been staying in the cave for days at a time, her smacking us with her wooden sword every time our concentration broke. 

Zenitsu managed to find some calmness for once after being hit countless times with Y/n-san's wooden stick, her even having to replace one because it broke trying to get Zenitsu to stop throwing tantrums. He seemed to just accept the fact that the only way that she will let him out of the cave was to actually break his mind's wall and reach his inner peace. 

When the day had passed and evening was setting in, Y/n-san usually said aloud the dishes that she was making for dinner, everyone's focus deepening at the thought of food. But, even that was temporary, my concentration thinning every time it reached the wall. Inosuke usually peeked his eye open as she shouted "chicken katsu" and "miso soup", usually gaining a fresh bruise as Y/n-san's wooden sword landed on him, her simply skipping out of the cave down the mountain. 

But on the sixth day of starvation, I focused back into my inner self and I felt my body relax as I hit the wall in my mind. The darkness of the cave was replaced suddenly by blinding light, my eyes shooting open by themselves. I anticipated Y/n-san's hard wooden stick to hit me, but it never came. 

Instead the soft breeze touched my face, the warm sunshine falling through the green leaves as I could vaguely make out children's laughter in the air. Suddenly the senses became clearer, my vision straightening to find Nezuko pulling at my haori.

'Onii-san!' She shouts, no fangs, no sharp nails, but...her younger self laughing with our younger siblings. Before I can open my mouth, I hear another voice from the side, the younger me patting Nezuko's head. 

'Nezuko. You found a beautiful leaf!' He says, Hanako copying Nezuko's movement as the other children throw the colourful leaves into the air. 

I feel the stinging in my eyes, my throat suddenly feeling tight as I watch my younger self smile as our siblings play without an ounce of worry in their expressions. I feel the tears pulling under my eyes, but somehow I manage to smile. 

In my memory, they will live forever. I can still see them again. Maybe not in the material world but in the spirit realm...and nothing could tear us apart. 

My vision darkens again, the cold ground of the cave entering my conscious as the silence returns. Opening my eyes, I see Y/n-san wiping my eyes, the tears having rolled down my face. 

'What did you see, Tanjiro?' She asks quietly, her eyes holding sadness but relief at the same time.

'Nezuko...and my siblings...when they were alive.' I say, wiping the rest of my tears from my face. 

'Were they good memories?' She asks as she turns around, preparing something.

'Yes...' I reply, the warmth I felt seconds ago still lingering as I try to grasp onto it.

'Good. But there is something you must know. As with everything in the world, even the memories you hold in the spirit realm is balanced. You may begin to see memories that you never want to remember as well. But...that is part of being human, a necessary part of nature.' She says, and I reply although my voice trembles. 

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