Eternal Love

t h i r t y - f o u r

                                                                                        -

you start walking back home with your head tilted to the side while looking down at the road, your eyes are puffy and tired from crying, and your body is so close to quitting as your feet take small steps.

your hair is completely messed up from all the tugging and pulling of your hands, your sweater sleeve has been soaking from all the crying, and your mascara is messed up as you could see smears whenever you wipe your eyes with your sweater.

but your whole body is wet because you've been staying under the rain for too long, not even caring if it was cold and freezing.

but luckily, the rain stopped just after 5 minutes.

you stop in front of the gate when you feel tears flowing down your cheeks, you shut your eyes and hold onto your school backpack strap tighter than ever.

you miss Jimin so badly but you couldn't find him anywhere.

meeting him was always an accident and you begin to hope that the beautiful accident happens again.

you miss his touch, his scent, his clothing, his fluffy hair, and his body proportions.

everything about him is so attractive and it makes you wanna cry so badly.

your eyes crave his visuals, your ears beg for his soft and high-pitched voice, and your hand wants to hold his once again.

you begin to form a fist on your chest as you feel the pain slowly coming back again

you knew that you saw him there.

                                                                      *Flashback*

you didn't attend school as your whole mental health is starting to get fucked up once again, you also didn't feel like seeing their faces since all you could feel is sadness, madness, grief, and trauma.

you've been staying in one particular spot in the park for hours, and you expect yourself to break down there but honestly, you didn't.

you were just observing the whole nature and the nearby lake beside the park, you smile as you saw 4 cute geese, and you badly want to feed them so you took out your lunch food and begin to feed them with bread.

you admire how perfect and silent the whole place is, the sound of the water moving and the birds chirping have been in your mind, reminding you of how good life is when you try to explore a peaceful place.

where you could finally rest your mind.

as you continue to feed the ducks, the corner of your eyes sees someone familiar.

someone who you've been wanting to see for a very long time.

you place the bread on the floor and turn around.

you see a very familiar guy from a distance, someone who you feel like you know already.

his hair is shining since it's blonde, his height is tall and the way of his clothing reminds you a lot of the aesthetic outfits that people nowadays would wear, his body proportion looks like Jimin's

 but the guy you've to catch sight of is wearing a mask and sunglasses.

your mind is saying that it isn't him, but your heart is saying that it's him.

you begin to catch up to the guy but you couldn't since he is walking fast, faster than any human could do.

it's been a minute and you're still following him, your feet begin to get tired and your heart beating so quickly to the point where you could feel the heavy heartbeats on your chest and throat.

"JIMIN!" you yell out, but he still won't turn around.

your feet finally give up as you stop while panting hard, your hands resting against your thighs as you look down on the cemented floor.

but now is not the right time to quit so you decided to keep going.

you bring your whole body you can't see him in your sight anymore.

you feel a huge pang in your chest as you begin to break down even more, all of that running and panting gave you nothing but a failed mission.

you begin to break down into tears, the hope of seeing him once again to prove to anyone that he's alive.

won't be proven anymore.

you form your hands into a fist as your teeth clench with each other, and tears have been streaming down your face.

you feel horrible, miserable, and a failure.

                                                          *End of Flashback*

"Oh my goodness, Y/n, what happened to you?"  your dad runs towards you and holds both of your shoulders as he looks at you in worry.

you continue to look down at the floor, you hate how he's seeing you looking so miserable and tired.

you're not in the mood to argue with him anymore so you just kept silent as he slowly lets go of you.

"Honey, she's home!" your dad announces to the whole household, at this point you could hear heavy and quick steps going down from the stairs, revealing your mom and sister.

both of them stare at you with worried eyes but you just continued to stare at the floor.

Rose scrutinizes your whole current state, she couldn't help but observe you, meanwhile, your mom throws herself to you in a huge and warm hug.

she didn't care how miserable you look right now and how you were soaking wet as water drips down from your long medium curls.

"my dear, what is happening to you?" your mom began to bawl into tears as she could feel your whole body shaking from the cold.

you stayed silent, your mouth unable to move as you don't know what's the proper explanation that you could tell her.

you feel so bad for keeping them waiting for you, you don't want to tell them that you tried searching for Jimin, or else they'll call you crazy like what the others have been saying.

you hate it, you hate it so much!

you swore in your heart that he's alive and is real, you don't care about what the other people have been saying about this whole thing.

you know it, you know in your heart, that he is real.

'I'll continue loving you even if people are against it"