Chapter 34: Comfort

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I raised my fist, lightly knocking on Severus's door. I heard footsteps moving closer to the door before it swung open, revealing Severus, his dark hair hanging messily in his face, the dark circles under his eyes much more prominent than I had ever seen.

"Y/n?" he whispered, reaching his hand toward me, gently squeezing my shoulder. "You're here?"

"I'm here, Sev," I answered. "C-can I come in?"

He frantically nodded, stepping to the side and closing the door behind me. He stood back, giving me my space as he waited for me to say something.

"I'm..." I trailed off, finding it hard to say what I wanted to say. He waited patiently for me to find my words. "I'm so sorry, Sev... I never should've stormed out that day. I know you were only trying to protect me and it's one of the things I love about you. I've always felt safe with you. I just..."

"Felt suffocated," he finished, seeming to understand the way I was feeling. "May I hug you?" he asked softly and I could feel my heart practically shatter in my chest.

"You never have to ask, Sev. I'm sorry... it's just... everything was happening all at once and I needed time to process everything... but I always want your hugs."

He smiled, walking toward me and wrapping his arms around my waist. A sense of calm washed over me as he held me against his chest.

"I was so worried about you," he whispered.

"I'm so sorry, Sev."

"No, I'm sorry. I should've realized it wasn't you. I-I knew something seemed off about her but... I just thought you were worried about Harry. I'm so sorry, my love."

"Sev, that was weeks ago. It's okay."

"It's not okay," he sobbed. "You were being hurt and I..."

"Sev." I pulled away, holding his face in my hands. "They didn't hurt me. In fact... they did everything they could not to hurt me. Voldemort was furious when he learned Wormtail had even slightly bruised my arm in the struggle to get my blood. I was perfectly safe, Sev."

His large hand covered mine on the side of his face as he nuzzled into it.

"I'm okay, Sev. And, hey, as long as you didn't kiss Sadie you are completely forgiven. If you kissed her... then we might have to have a chat," I chuckled.

"Absolutely not. Something seemed so off about her that I couldn't bring myself to hold her the way I would hold you... let alone kiss her," he chuckled as his face contorted in disgust.

"Good, then you are forgiven."

I could see he was still blaming himself and I pressed myself as close to him as possible. Neither of us said anything more, simply holding each other as we allowed ourselves to feel the pain of everything that had happened, allowing ourselves to cry it out. It was one of the few times I had seen Severus cry, allowing himself to be vulnerable with me. It was too soon when we pulled away but I knew Albus was calling a meeting and we would need to leave soon.

"Albus is calling a meeting of the Order. We should probably leave soon."

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" he asked, gently stroking my cheek.

"No, but we don't have much of a choice. They need to know."

He nodded, grabbing his cloak off a nearby chair, before returning to me. "I'll be right there with you... if you want."

I smiled, taking his hand. "Always."

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