Come Back to Me (Don't Save Me Book 3)

Chapter 45: Born to a Monster

"He refused to speak of that night," Narcissa said, turning back to me. "Y/n... I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how horrible that must've been for you but I promise you I would never hurt you... and I know Lucius wouldn't intentionally hurt you. I think he just wanted to keep you safe... that's all any of us want."

I shook my head, the memories of that night flashing through my head, quickly followed by the torture in the basement of my childhood home.

"I couldn't move," I whimpered.

"Y/n, look at me," she said as she cautiously moved closer. She lifted my chin with her small fingers before moving her hand up, pushing the hair out of my face. I could see her searching my eyes and I felt a pull at the back of my head. With the current vulnerable state I was in I didn't have the energy to put up my Occlumency walls and I knew I could be read like a book, but at this point I no longer cared. The images flashed in my mind quicker than I could stop them. Lucius's arm wrapped around me as the Imperius Curse held me in place. My uncle's screams as his fists raised against my small form huddled on the floor.

"Please... stop," I whispered. She dropped her gaze and the images stopped though the pain still remained. That was one thing I could never escape.

"Y/n... I'm so sorry," she whispered, looking up at me once again. "I didn't know about what Lucius did. I understand if you hate me for my association with him... but I didn't know."

I sighed, slowly moving toward her. She let out the breath I hadn't even realized she'd been holding and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry," she whispered as I sobbed in her arms.

Guilt filled my stomach as I thought about how stupid I'd been to resent her for what Lucius had done. Looking back on it I couldn't even remember why I'd been so angry with her. It was as if I couldn't separate her husband's actions from hers... and even Lucius hadn't truly meant to hurt me, though I knew I couldn't forgive him as easily.

I pulled away after what felt like an hour but could've only been a few minutes before turning to Severus. His head tilted slightly as he lifted a hand to my cheek, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you been working for him again? When did you go back to him?"

Severus sighed, knowing this question was inevitable. "When we found you in the hallway... Albus and I took you to the Hospital Wing. I knew you were in good hands so It was then that I returned to him. I knew he would assume I had abandoned him but by maintaining my post as a spy at Hogwarts all was forgiven."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry... and I didn't know what your plans were."

"My plans?"

"He's your father and the Malfoys were once your family. I didn't want my history with the Death Eaters to influence your decision. I thought it was one you should make on your own."

"Severus, what are you talking about? What decision?"

Severus and Narcissa shared a look I couldn't quite understand before he sighed and turned to me. "It's what Narcissa and I were discussing... Your father is going to call you to his side... and you will have to make a choice... as to whether or not you join him."

I pulled away from them both, backing away once again.

"Woah, hey, Y/n. It's okay. You're okay," Narcissa soothed, her hands raised. "No one expects you to join him... at least not anyone who truly knows you."

At this moment I grew extremely confused. A Death Eater's wife was sitting here telling me she didn't expect me to join my father.

"Y/n... I may be married to Lucius but that does not mean I support what he's done. You're not a killer, sweetheart. Severus and I don't want this life for you."

"I-I'm sorry," I whimpered. I was apologizing for more than just this outburst and I could tell she knew that. It was for everything: for resenting her when she'd done nothing wrong, for her husband's behavior, but most of all for being born to a monster.