Come Back to Me (Don't Save Me Book 3)

Chapter 40: Home

The next morning Severus and I were exhausted. I knew he felt guilty and I did everything I could to reassure him everything was fine. He clung to my side for most of the morning, making me breakfast and ensuring I never left him.

Albus had given the students two weeks off after the events of the third task in order to process everything that had happened and to prepare for their final exams, though we knew most of them would just be enjoying the time off. It also gave Harry, and I time to heal. Severus and I cleaned up after breakfast, making our way to his fireplace to use the Floo. Before we could leave he took my hands in his, his eyes searching mine.

"Are you okay, love?" he asked me softly.

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"You just... you've been through a lot and... I don't know. I'm just surprised is all."

"Surprised why? Because I'm not breaking down every five minutes? Because I'm not having nightmares? I said I'm fine." I knew my reaction was uncalled for but I couldn't help the anger I felt.

"Y/n..."

"What do you want from me, Sev? Do you want me to scream and cry? Scream because my father wants my Godson dead? Because he used my blood to return? Scream because a man I trusted Imperioed me so I couldn't protect Harry?" My voice began growing in volume as the tears began streaming down my face. "Cry because my father left me in the first place!? I can't do that! I can't allow myself to do that because I have people relying on me! I need to be there for my Godson! I need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do about my father and I can't be distracted!"

Severus moved toward me, cupping my face in his hand. "I'm so sorry, my love," he whispered. Something flashed in his eyes as remembered something I had said. "Y/n, who else Imperioed you? I thought it was only Barty."

I looked away, realizing I had royally screwed up.

"Y/n?" He lifted my chin. "You can tell me anything, sweet girl."

"Promise me you won't get angry and do something stupid."

"Love, just tell me what's going on."

I sighed before beginning to explain how Lucius had placed me under the Imperius Curse to stop me from protecting Harry. I could see Severus growing angrier by the minute, his hand balling into a fist at his side as the other one still tenderly held my cheek.

"How could he do that?" Severus hissed, more to himself than anything. I could feel my walls breaking down as I wiped the tears that had slipped past my cheeks, trying not to allow myself to cry anymore.

"We should go. We told Albus and Minerva we'd return today."

"Darling... you shouldn't-."

"Dont, Sev. I'm fine. We need to go."

"Y/n, it's okay to be upset. It's okay to be angry, scared, sad... whatever you're feeling is okay... but you need to allow yourself to feel it."

"No. I'm not doing this right now." I pulled away but he grabbed my hand.

"Y/n," he began but I cut him off.

"No. I can't... I can't do this. I-I can't feel this. If I let myself cry I may never stop."

He gave me a sympathetic look and I could feel my walls breaking as he tried to pull me into a hug.

"No, please... don't. I-if you hug me I'm going to cry and I can't, Severus."

He sighed, moving closer to me and placing a hand on my cheek. "I love you, Y/n... I won't do anything you're not okay with... but I could use a hug from you."

I chuckled. "Smart move, Mr. Snape. Telling me it's you that needs the hug."

"Come on. I know you can't deny me when I want a hug from you," he chuckled, giving me the most adorable puppy dog eyes. I shook my head, laughter slipping from my lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He buried his face in my hair. "Much better," he whispered. All I wanted to do was sob into him but I couldn't break down. I couldn't allow myself to feel the pain of everything that had happened because I may never stop. His hands softly rubbed my back as I focused on maintaining the calm expression I had grown so used to holding.

"It's not your fault either," he whispered. My breath hitched as the words left his lips, filling my ears with the assuring words. No. I can't cry. I pulled away from him, giving him a soft small, locking my jaw as I grabbed some Floo Powder but Severus stopped me.

"Wait... I want to say something... or rather ask you something."

"Move in with me."

"W-what?" I asked.

"Move in with me," he repeated. "We spend most of our time here outside of Hogwarts. You've been sleeping here the past few nights anyway. Just make it official. Move in with me."

"I mean... Do you think that's wise? W-with everything going on?"

"Having you here so I can protect you? Yes, I think it's quite wise," he answered, his fingers gently brushing my hand.

"Ah, I see. So this isn't the next step in our relationship," I chuckled. "This is you being a protective boyfriend."

"A bit of both," he answered, smiling softly. "I wanted to ask you before... but I was worried you'd say no."

"What made you change your mind?"

"Last night," he replied, his fingers still lightly trailing circles over the back of my hand. "I want to wake up to you every morning... and I want to hold you every night. I don't want you to have to wake up early in the morning because you forgot to pack clothes. I want you to sleep in and grab your clothes from our closet. I want you to come downstairs and already smell breakfast waiting for you. I don't want you to have to go to your home... I want you to already be home. I- I guess what I'm trying to say is I want you here with me." His flushed face was adorable and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Yes, Sev. I'll move in with you."

He sighed, relieved at my answer, and we stepped through the fireplace, arriving in Albus's office.