Come Back to Me (Don't Save Me Book 3)

Chapter 48: Restless Night

The next morning I woke in Severus's arms, his breath slow and steady as he held me. I looked up at him, noticing how his eyes were already open. He had a concerned look on his face and his grip was tighter than normal. It was as if he was afraid that if he let go of me I may slip from his grasp forever.

"Hello, beautiful girl," he said in his beautifully deep morning voice. I hummed, snuggling closer to him if that was even possible.

"How long have you been up?"

"Only a few minutes, love. How are you feeling?" he asked me, gently stroking the top of my head.

"I'm good," I murmured, taking a deep breath. The smell of lavender suddenly hit my nose and I sat up quickly. "Sev? What's that smell?"

His eyes glazed over, filling with sadness as he touched my cheek. "Sev, what's going on? Did you spill something?"

"I was picking up your clothes to fold them and... a potion fell out of your pocket last night."

I looked up at him, my eyes wide as I realized what this meant. "Sev, I-."

"Why didn't you talk to me, baby? Why didn't you tell me what was going on?"

"I didn't want to worry you."

He chuckled. "We really are something, aren't we? Both keeping secrets because we don't want to worry one another." He sighed, lifting my chin so he could look into my eyes.

"How long has this been going on?"

I looked away from him but he gently pulled my face back toward him.

"S-since I left the Hospital Wing."

"Oh, my love," he whispered, wiping away my tears with his thumb.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered but he instantly shushed me.

"No, my darling. We all cope in different ways. If I told you the things I did to cope before you re-entered my life... well this would be a very different conversation. Come here, sweet girl." He pulled me closer to him. "Promise me you'll never use that potion again... at least not for such an extended period of time. Promise me you'll come to me."

"S-Sev... I can't... I can't keep having these nightmares. They're dead and it's all my fault."

"Shh. No, darling. If it's anyone's fault it's mine. I should've protected you better... and I shouldn't have told the Dark Lord about the prophecy. This whole thing started with me, sweetheart. You've done nothing wrong. You cannot help who your father is but you are not a bad person and you've done nothing wrong." He pressed his lips to my forehead, lingering there for a moment before pulling away to look down at me. "I promise you I'll be here if you ever have a nightmare again. I will wake you up but I need you to promise me you'll come to me the next time you feel like taking that potion?"

I nodded, looking away from him but that wasn't good enough.

"Words, sweet girl."

"Yes, Sev. I promise."

"There's my good girl," he said, a warm smile crossing his face as helped me lay down once again, covering my body with the duvet.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah, Sev?"

"No more secrets, yeah?"

"Agreed," I mumbled, scooching my body closer and resting my head on his chest.

I can't lie and say that it was a peaceful night. The nightmares I had been repressing came back with a vengeance, waking Severus and I up several times in the night. Each time he would hold me and assure me everything was okay. I hated that my nightmares had woken him up but I was glad he was there.

The next morning I got rid of the few potions I had left and Severus told me everything he knew about the Death Eaters, though there wasn't much to tell. He told me how he returned to my father who thought he was a traitor and explained how he'd maintained his post as a spy at Hogwarts. It appears my father enjoyed this piece of information and decided not to punish Severus. Whether he decided not to punish Severus because of his useful information or because of our relationship... I would never know.