Misfortune

Chapter 39

"August," James pulls me out of my thoughts, his expression unreadable.

I fidget with my fingers as I wait for him to say something. He notices this and takes my trembling hands into his, caressing them gently.

We just sit in silence as he watches me with calm eyes. The suspense of this was starting to worry me all over again. 'If he's going to hit me again or strangle me, I'd much rather him do it now than just playing with me like this. '

He can do anything; I don't care anymore. As long as he doesn't try what he just did a few minutes ago, that honestly left me spooked. I never want to be in a situation like that again.

I sit on the bed with him expecting everything bad to happen. So, I'm surprised when he suddenly leans in to kiss me. His lips were warm, his touch tender making me want to cry again because I didn't consent to this and once again, he's forcing me into something I don't want.

Though I hate it, I don't pull away. He leans more and more into the kiss. His tongue pokes my bottom lip making me wince in pain, with this he took the opportunity to move his tongue into my mouth.

His hand crept up to my head as his fingers roamed around my hair. Everything was slow, time, the kiss, his touch, all of it felt really nice even though I shouldn't enjoy it.

He tries bringing my head closer to his but stop when I flinch.

"What's wrong?"

I rub my hair until I feel a knot on my head," I hit my head earlier on the toilet seat."

He looks at my head and leans up so that his chest was to my face as he inspects my wound.

I can feel him parting my hair, at the same time I jolt from the pain.

He sits back down and sighs," I shouldn't have kissed you."

I only look to the sheets focusing on the silk material.

"August."

I hesitate before responding," yeah?"

"I love you," his voice deepens.

My eyes slowly travel to his," No you don't."

"Why do you believe that?" he asks calmly.

"I can tell."

"Then I don't," he simply says while crossing his arms.

I can feel my stomach turning as my eyes widen from his response," W-what?"

"I'm no liar August. Everything I've ever told you up to now has been nothing but the truth, you're just too insecure to see that. So, if you really believe I don't love you then fine."

"James please—"

"—Please what?" he's quick to cut me off.

I sigh as I shake my head, not believing a word that comes out of his mouth.

"Don't do this again."

"Do what again?" he starts to lean towards me more. I uncross my legs as I move back.

"Stop," I say, still moving away from him while he creeps towards me.

He suddenly raises his hand; I flinch in response but don't feel a hit. Instead, his hand covers the back of my head, stopping it from hitting the wall behind me. I open my eyes to find him in between my legs. My back slouches on the wall and bed as he hovers over me.

"I love you August, I wish I could make you believe me, but I don't know how to. Just know that I sometimes act without thinking but I mean nothing by it. You really are the light at the end of my dark tunnel. I need you August more than I need air to breathe. Tell me you don't want me, then I promise you I'll leave you alone."