Misfortune

Chapter 48

Reminiscing about my shitty childhood is one thing but going into full detail about how I used to get abused is another. Just know that once again, I got my ass beat by my father. My memory of the beating is faint, but I could still feel how hard my body fell onto the ground as he punched me. I remember all the horrendous things he did and said to me as I was coughing up blood. I remember the way my mother stayed in the other room distracting Lily as he continued to punch me. I remember a lot of things I wish I could forget.

After my father was done with me, he told me to go back to my room because I was grounded for talking back. As I struggled to get back on my feet, he stepped over me, tripping me back down. My body was sore and strained once I was finally able to get up. As I stumbled over to the stairs, I could hear lily and my mother in the back hall chatting. Lily looked extremely pale and uncomfortable. My breathing was uneven and hitched so I ended up coughing loudly causing her to turn her attention towards me. Once our eyes met, she gasped in horror. My mother looked towards me worriedly but only grabbed lily's arm and led her into the living room. The whole time I walked upstairs, my body ached in pain. When I finally made it to the last step, I spotted my room door open and already knew who was inside. I let out a deep sigh and continued to the room. As I wobbled inside, I could see Shawn pacing back in forth biting his fingernails.

The door made a loud creak sound as I closed it, pulling him out of his thoughts. He looked to me with eyes full of tears," Oh my god."

"I'm fine, really."

"Like hell you are!"

He walks over to me and gently touches my bruised cheek. I flinch in pain as the wound stings. Shawn's eyes widen as he stops touching it.

"I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything, I'm not looking for pity right now," I brush pass him and wobble over to my bed. I could hear him breathing heavily behind me as I sat down.

"This is fucked up. How can you......" he takes a moment to look at my blank expression as I watch him.

"How can you just sit here and act like this is all normal?"

I sigh softly as I shrug my shoulders. What could I say? This is something that's been happening to me since I was seven. I would've thought it was normal if it wasn't for when I talked to my third-grade teacher about it. After hearing my story, she told my father about how she'd have him locked up forever. Seeing how angry and upset she was made me realize that I was a victim of assault. The night I ratted my father out to her was the night he beat me so badly I had bruises all up and down my arms. The wounds were so bad they got infected, but my father told my mom to not address them or take me to the hospital. He said to just let me deal with the pain since I wanted to try to ruin his career. Just a week after talking to my teacher, she suddenly moved out of state without notice. Since that shit happened, I vowed to never speak to anyone about the abuse, which brings me back here. What could I say to him? As much as I hate the beatings, I hate talking or thinking about them even more.

Noticing my silence, Shawn sits next to me on the bed and gently rubs my shoulder," Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Look at me."

I slowly turn my head towards his, meeting his tearful expression.

"It's okay.

His voice was hitched but full of consolation. Within in those two little words held a deeper meaning that made my mind go blank for a minute. He takes my hand into his and gives it a little squeeze as he says once more," It's okay."

An overwhelming feeling starts forming in my chest making me breathe heavily. All my life I've went through so many problems without the comfort of anyone, not even my own mother. So as much as I loved knowing how much Shawn cared and worried for me, it still felt overwhelming being comforted by him. I know he only wants to make me feel better but he's not helping whatsoever.