My Happiness || Kusuo Saiki X Reader

|73| A Premature Baby

"Hey dad," Ukiyo says as she leans back on the railing while looking at the sky. Her father looks at her curiously. "Aunt Stella said that mom tried to take her own life. You said that mom was not in a good place. She was also sick... Did she purposely failed her attempts to be noticed and get the help she needed?" Ukiyo ask softly.

"Don't ask questions you don't want answers to, Jelly. Your mother went through a lot and the fact she lived as long as she did and learned to love showed just how strong your mother is." She knows it's not an easy subject to talk about for her father and he's right. She shouldn't ask questions she doesn't want to know the answers to.

But it's her mother. She went through so much yet all everyone can talk about is how amazing her mother was. Ukiyo wonder if her mother was still here, would she have lied to her about her scars? Would she have told her about her past?

"It was her way of crying for help, wasn't it?" Ukiyo ask her father who sighs.

"(Name) told me that her first attempt to take her own life brought her father home. She thought that it was her way of bringing the only family member she thought she had home. She was young, isolated, on medications she didn't need, and more importantly, fighting battles on her own." Kusuo says as he looks at the distant. "She tried many times to take her own life because if she died, than she wouldn't be a burden but if she lived, at least her father would be home. But it soon became a habit and trust me, I've seen her thoughts. I've seen what she's been through and she really did try. Why she never succeeded is beyond me but it's why allowed me to believe that there may be some kind of God out there. But then she tried to work on herself, to be better and healthy. She did it all for Stella."

Ukiyo remembers how her aunt spoke. How Stella wished she had more years or more times but as life goes, everyone needs to move forward.

"How was mom like when she was pregnant with me?" Ukiyo ask her father which made him chuckle.

"Like every other pregnant woman; crazy," Kusuo answers. Ukiyo laugh but Kusuo shakes his head while smiling but then the smile went soft. "I almost lost her once," Kusuo says which cause Ukiyo to look at him curiously as she wonders what that means.

"As in..." Ukiyo ask.

"I made her angry, very angry and she was going to leave me for the things I said," Kusuo says as he closes his eyes for a few seconds, clearly thinking back to the past. Remembering back to the moments he got into a huge fight and argument with his wife that almost cost him everything.

"You guys fought?" Ukiyo ask softly.

"... Yeah." Kusuo nods. "It was the day I found out she was pregnant with you..." Kusuo says as he looks at his daughter. She may look just like him, the hair, the features, and even got his genes for height. But she has his wife's eyes and smile. Kusuo reaches over and touch the top of her head and then down to her cheek. He smiles as he pulls his hand back, grateful for the fact that the feature he loves most about his wife is something his daughter owns yet somehow, the smile wasn't his wife's but his daughter's and that is something he'll forever be thankful for.

"Was I... unwanted?" Ukiyo ask her father nervously.

"Your mother and I... I proposed on the day we graduated because I promised I would. She didn't remember the promise but when I reminded her about it, she cried." Kusuo smiles to himself. "I did whatever I could to keep her healthy because all I wanted was another year with her. Every year was the same, just one more year with her..." he whispers. "And she was a strong woman, always fighting for her health, doing everything she can to earn another year... We were happy. I never wanted kids, your mother was enough for me. Just being with her was enough. Kids were never in the plan..." Kusuo says, now regretting it because his daughter has been the light to his world and he would have never traded her for the world.