The Cliché of the Dork and the Jock

A Dork Crushing on a Jock

Love was always such a cliché thing to me. You could see it in movies as this magical thing that happens and makes your dreams come true.
As a 17 year old student, I never expected to find my own love anytime soon. I was set on using my time to study and prepare for my future not being hopelessly in love and going on dates. Of course as any normal high school student , I had a crush, but I never expected anything to occur from it. Never did I think an ordinary autumn day would change my life and my plans for the future.

I woke up to my phone's ringtone vibrating against my bedside table.I grumble as I lift my head up and pick up my phone from the bedside table beside me. It was a message from Eddy with the contents of the message reading "Where ya at Double D did you go to the library or something? You're usually here by now."

My eyes squinted in confusion,making their way to the top right of my phone screen.My eyes bulging out of my head as I saw the time displayed on the screen read 7:50 am. "Oh dear! I'm going to be late for school! How on earth did I oversleep?!" I scream as I bolt upright placing my phone beside me.

I hurried out of bed rushing to my closet my eyes scanning the clothes for my outfit of the day. I spot my favorite navy blue sweater and I grabbed a white collared button up shirt and pair of black jeans to go with it. I undressed and began to put on my clothes,buttoning up the shirt and tucking in the sweater. I walked to my accessories storage box and pulled out my black tie, wrapping it around my neck and making it into the perfect tie. I grab a pair of navy blue knit socks, sitting on my bed to put them on. I reached to my bed side table, grabbing my 17 year old beanie. I place the black beanie over my raven hair as I hurried to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I finally ran to the kitchen and grabbed a peanut butter sandwich I had prepared the night before. At the doorway I put on my black loafers and grab my backpack as I leave the house.

"Please don't let me be late!"

I get to school with ten minutes to spare before the bell rings signaling the school day. I enter through the doors of and walk towards my locker grabbing the supplies I needed for my first period. The school doors open and turning my head I see "him" walking to his locker down the hall. Kevin, the school's most popular student, captain of the football team. He was accompanied by his group of friends some of the football and baseball players,Nat,and Nazz. I couldn't help but stare at him as he talked but I quickly regretted that as he looked up and our eyes met. Kevin stared back at me with a blank expression, embarrassed I looked away quickly.

"Oh dear , perhaps I was staring for too long?"

I glanced back and noticed he was still looking my way. My heart began beating faster as my cheeks tinted pink, but gaining a bit of courage, I raised my hand a bit to wave hello.

"Hey Double D!"

A loud voice behind me called, causing me to jump from the sudden noise.I turned around and Eddy stood beside my locker.
"Whatcha starin at?"
"Salutations Eddy.I was just looking at a sheet on the bulletin board regarding the SAT schedule."
"Oh Fuck! I forgot about that!"
"Language Eddy."
"Anyways Double D, lets go look for Ed"
I grab my history book and close my locker door, glancing back to see Kevin went back to talking with his friends. Sighing in relief that the awkward exchange of glances ended.

I didn't expect to get so caught up in staring at Kevin. I usually just take a quick glance and get on with my day. It's a creepy thing to do but seeing Kevin even if it's just a small glance, always makes my day better and I feel happier because of it.Anyone would feel happy from seeing their crush wouldn't they? I had to do it discretely everyday in fear that someone would start to take notice and reveal that I'm gay. Only a few people have come out as gay in town but they were mostly popular kids who didn't experience any rejection from their peers. It was different for the rest of the kids who were unfortunate enough to not have friends. The popular kids had the benefit of having friends so they weren't targeted by the school's bullies.The students with no friends weren't as lucky. Even if someone wanted to give them support, the fear of getting targeted for helping was greater than their wishes to help. The last kid who came out was disowned by his family and moved schools shortly after to escape the bullying from school. No one in the Cul D Sac knows I'm gay, not even Ed or Eddy. Of course Eddy had his suspicions after the day where he was given a bet from Kevin to kiss me. I hated the idea of Eddy being my first kiss. The problem was that I didn't hate it. I hated that it was Eddy, but the thought that I was kissing a boy fascinated me. It made my heart beat so fast and I knew right then and there that I liked men. My face had been coated with a deep blush for minutes after the kiss and Eddy joking asked "Wow Double D you're red, did you like it that much?" and after a day passed he came over and questioned me about my sexuality. I denied it and blamed the blush on a fever. When he left I did research about kissing and found myself looking at pictures of men kissing learned that I was gay.
I kept it a secret after that and continued my life as normal until I began to hang around Kevin more and soon developed a crush on the redhead. We got along well in 6th grade but one day he suddenly stopped talking to me and now I only see him in the halls of the school.