Sorry
I have to keep up and do good to prove to everyone that I am not just a pretty face. I am so sick of hearing, "Maganda nga pero patingin nga ng grades."
All of the people around me are just like my mother. They judge me based on my academics.
I wanted to be part of the top list so bad. Gusto kong pag rumampa ako, may suot akong medalya at isa sa mga nakapasok sa matatalinong estudyante. Yes, I shouldn't let these judgments define who I am, but having high grades is an asset.
"Oh, ayan na ang bobo," one of the boys said when I passed them.
I glanced at him. He smirked.
"Boboo ng buhay ko," he fired as his friends cheered for him.
I rolled my eyes and continued walking as I heard them making a fuss about it.
I know that some of the students here are judging me based on my other cousin's behavior. Playgirl. Hindi nag-aaral ng maayos. At ganda lang ang ambag.
Ashtraia is the most notorious playgirl among us. Sure, I can play with boys too, but those aren't my priorities at all. Ayos lang kay Ashtraia, kahit wala siyang friends, coz the boys entertain him, but for me, grade is important.
Gusto kong makipagkaibigan. Gusto kong may kasama sa group study at makihalubilo nang wala akong naririnig pag tatalikod na. But because I am a Ferrarin, knowing that we are very well known, kahit kaonting galaw ko, kaonting mali, ang dami agad nasasabi.
"Sorry late ako," pagmamadali kong tumakbo patungo sa gymnasium suot ang aking uniform para sa practice sa cheerdance.
I saw the hostility in my team. Nags-stretching pa lang naman at hindi pa nagsisimula ang practice, ngunit ramdam ko agad ang mga galit nilang pasiklab na.
"Manang mana kay Ashtraia. Nanlalake pa siguro," I heard the whispers.
"Kahit 'yung kapatid niya, kabi-kabila ang lalake. Mga Ferrarin talaga."
"Nasa kabilang dance troupe 'yon pero sabi nga nila grabe rin daw. Araw-araw paiba-iba."
I didn't mind it as I placed my bag on the floor, crouched a bit to open it as I pulled out my water bottle, and joined them afterwards.
Inilapag ko lamang iyon para mas madali kong makuha maya maya. I saw how they eyed it when I placed it somewhere near their mineral water.
"Nagmamayabang pa. Eh ano ngayon kung mamahalin ang lalagyanan mo ng tubig?" they started making a fuss about it.
"Oo nga. Akala niya siguro maiinggit tayo?"
I sighed and went to my usual position. Dumating ang aming dance instructor na si Ma'am Hernandez na P.E. teacher sa eskwelahang ito.
We started our practice in the open space of the school. Nakikita ko ang soccer team sa bandang dulo, at ang lower grades na malapit lamang sa amin na mukhang nag-aaral ng martial arts.
Pinatay ni Ma'am Hernandez ang music at iritang tumayo sa aming harapan. She showed the proper execution of the steps and pointed out each of my team's mistakes.
"Ayeselle, come in front. Ulitin mo 'yung steps nang makita nila," ani Ma'am Hernandez.
Tumango ako at nagtungo sa harap. I did the steps that Ma'am Hernandez was talking about. I counted on it in my mind as I let my body follow its lead.
"Gano'n dapat," ani Ma'am Hernandez at tiningnan ako. "Thank you."
I smiled and nodded. I felt relaxed a bit, but then, when I saw the critical judgments in their eyes, my confidence slowly vanished.
