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ATLANTA, GEORGIA - 6:30PM
Prada kept looking over at me as he sat on my bed deciding whether or not he wanted to leave. It was the next day, and he's been asking if I was okay. I'd only reply with yes and we both knew I was lying. I told him he could leave and I'd be fine with Nugget. I'm already knowing he had things to do and he shouldn't have to put that on hold for me.
❝The second you feel like you 'bout to cry, call me. I'm dead ass, Milan. I'm 'bout to do this shit right quick then come back.❞ He told me getting up from off the bed. "Come with me so you can lock the door."
"You don't have to come back, Prada."
"Why you doing this? You ain't never had a nigga care for you before or something? I care, Milan. I dead ass care about you. Ion want you by yourself because I know them words hurt. You might try to do some shit and Ion wanna lose you, mama. That's why I'm trying to be here for you, but you acting like youn want it."
"Of course I never had no one care for me. My momma hates me along with the rest of my family. I would say my grandmother cares but obviously she doesn't if she lied and guess what? I ended up getting my feelings hurt. Only person that truly cared for me is Salim and he's not here." I expressed looking away from Prada.
"You can go. I'll be fine. I'll listen to music, paint, play with Nugget, be productive." I continued finally looking back at him.
"Alright. Come lock the door behind me." He pulled me to walk in front of him. I walked opening up the front door. "I'ma be back for real, Milan. At least for an hour or two."
"I'm going to be fine." I reassured him.
"C'mere." He stated pulling me into a hug leaving no space between the two of us.
Once Prada left I grabbed some clothes to wear so I could sleep in before I went to take a shower leaving me in my thoughts. There was no music playing which was stupid since I didn't need to be in my thoughts. Knowing that'll only lead me into doing something stupid.
Prada was right. Those words that my mom said to me did hurt. I couldn't get them out my head because how could you say that to your own child? How could you continuously blame me for my brothers death even after I told you exactly what happened? And it's like I knew I wasn't the reason, but it still hurt. I still felt a way. And to make it all worse was that my grandma lied.
All she cared about was getting her family back together, but didn't care enough about my feelings. I felt like she slick knew that my mom wasn't going to apologize.
Tears began clouding my eyes as I kept replaying the words she said to me yesterday, 'I don't care. My son is dead because of you. It should have been you instead of him!' It hurt so bad. Maybe if I went away then she'll be happy? She wouldn't have to worry about blaming me for Lim's death.
