The Lee Twins | HeeSun

26

Please don't skip any paras, this chapter is very important for understanding Ethan's character better. Also there won't be much dialogues in here, this is more like an explanation.

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Ethan has been avoiding Sunoo. He himself knows it too. But the thing is, he doesn't know why he's doing it. 

Maybe in a corner of his heart there was this weird guilty feeling lingering, knocking in his heart saying, what he did back at the infirmary was so wrong that he shouldn't be near the younger boy. Ethan's heart is in dilemma, it doesn't knows what kind of feeling it should feel at this moment. It feels guilty at times knowing he might've made Sunoo feel uncomfortable whereas other times it feels hurt knowing Sunoo still wasn't comfortable with him enough to kiss him or be intimate with him.

The guilty feelings weighed down the hurt feelings though. Why? Because Ethan thinks it's his fault that he didn't sense the boy's discomfort until the boy himself turned his face away.

Ethan also thinks Sunoo would've felt so embarrassed that time because he didn't even deny any action. He just faced away, not even saying a single word. It was like Sunoo tried to give in but he was so uncomfortable that his body itself did the action. That's why Ethan feels guiltier than ever.

That day after the incident, Ethan didn't want to face Sunoo. So he made up an excuse saying he has some new assignment and texted the younger to head home with Jungwon and Riki. 

Ethan was seriously dreading inside to go and apologize to Sunoo for making him feel uncomfortable. But something in his heart told him that both of them needs some alone time. He was always (most of the time actually) with Sunoo for these two and a half weeks of their relationship. Thus he wanted to give them this well needed space.

Next day he got a text from the younger saying he'd head earlier for the function. He wanted to walk Sunoo to uni and spend the whole day together, he even got ready earlier for that, maybe he could also persuade the younger and go back to before. But when he received the text, all of that got deflated.

So he walked to his balcony not wanting to attend the function at all. He stood by the railings looking at the opposite house's porch. His eyes were suddenly stuck on the figure of his brother who was standing in front of the entrance. Another figure walked through the entrance. He saw his brother and Sunoo speak, it was more like Heeseung ranting and Sunoo calming him down as they walked.

Both of their figure disappeared from Ethan's vision as they walked further and further. They seemed so comfortable with each other too. Ethan knows they were in a project together and they got close through that. He doesn't hate the idea of his brother and his boyfriend getting close. In fact last time when he saw Sunoo being afraid of Heeseung, he wanted to resolve that. Maybe shove some sense up his brother's head too. 

But with time (and the project) both of them seemed closer and that made Ethan kinda relieved, he wouldn't have to worry about his brother potentially harming Sunoo and the younger wouldn't be afraid of anyone too.

Ethan decided to not go to the uni that day and spend his time thinking about the whole situation in hand.

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It was past 10 in the night. He was back in the balcony with a can of beer resting in his hand from which he took sips occasionally. Ethan was a heavy drinker back in Seattle. Jay was the party monster and Ethan was the one who'd be in all of his parties. He couldn't imagine not being present in any of Jay's party.

But that was reality now. He had denied Jay a while ago when his buddy asked him to come by the club near their varsity.

He didn't know why he did that, maybe if he went there then he'd see Sunoo and apologize or resolve whatever they have going on. But he didn't. Well you see, he really wanted to go there but then the face of Sunoo contorted with discomfort flashed in front of his eyes, also the face of Sunoo brightened with happiness when he saw Heeseung this morning flashed in his vision too. Both of those expressions were so different, Ethan thought he should let Sunoo have some more time to himself.