I gingerly rolled over in my bed, my whole body aching. I groaned as my eyes scrunched shut as I tried not to let the pain hit me too hard. Who knew that being in emotional pain could ever translate into physical pain? I didn’t until now.
The room was dark; shadows were creeping around every corner. As I looked around the room, I shuddered. It was so empty. So cold. I sucked in a sharp breathe of air into my worn out lungs, cringing.
I had been constantly throwing up and aching all over for the past two weeks. It hurt; of course it hurt. It hurt more when there was nothing to actually bring up. Dry retching as my stomach convulsed over and over again, trying to find something, anything to bring up.
As much as I tried to fill my mind with other things, other images, I couldn’t. They were ingrained in my mind; drawn there with permanent marker. They weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. And I hated it.
The bright lights; the sharp twisted metal everywhere; the sirens going off 2 blocks away, drawing nearer and nearer. They stained my mind like red wine on a fresh, cream carpet. I shivered all over as I sat up, the white sheets feeling like cold glass against my dry skin.
The bedroom door opened a crack, letting in light from the hallway. I squinted my eyes a little and saw a dark outline of a familiar person. The door closed as suddenly as it opened and the dark shadow came closer towards me. My heart raced in anticipation, my palms felt clammy as my hands shook slightly.
The bed shifted as the person climbed onto the bed, over the sheets, placing their arms around me. My head fell trustingly on their shoulder and I choked out a small cry. I hadn’t been in anyone’s arms like this since … since …
“I miss him,” The words fell softly from my chapped lips. The shadow stayed silent, choosing to listen instead. Each time I closed my eyes, I saw flashes from that night. The night when …
“I’m just … so tired,” I scrunched my eyes tightly shut, moving closer to the warm shadow. Their grip on me tightened and I felt … safe. But not secure. I could never feel secure anymore.
“I can’t sleep without him,” I cried. My eyelids felt as though weights were constantly pulling down on them, but I wouldn’t let myself sleep. I couldn’t. Because I knew that if I fell asleep, I would forget the way he looked, the way he smelt, the way he would move the hair out of my face after I laughed.
I didn’t want to forget him. In dreams we are given a morphed sense of real life moments, either good or bad. I wanted to remember him for the way he really was; not how my imagination depicted him. But it seemed as though my imagination was the only place I would ever see him again.
“I just don’t want to forget him …” I sobbed into the shirt of the shadow. They smelled familiar, but not the familiar I wanted. Remembering his smell, my mind flash backed to the night it happened; the night everything changed.
…. We were all in the car on the way home from a night out partying, our spirits high and our spirit intake higher. The music was loud and so was our singing. Our laughter rivalled even that of a hyena. We laughed even harder.
He was driving. He was confident. I sat in the passenger’s seat. Laughing. Trusting. Liam sat in the back with Danielle. They were joined at the lip the whole time. Smiling. Laughing. We were all having a good time.
Until …
The corner came out of nowhere.
The truck came out of nowhere.
Everything was black, dark.
We were completely blind.
I don’t know how many times we flipped and bumped and moved as we were hurled off the highway. I just knew that it hurt. Everything hurt. I felt a snap in my arm and metal cut into my soft skin. My intoxicated mind, although cloudy, registered everything.
The screeching of metal on metal filled my head and it pounded as we seemed to roll on forever. The headlights shone on the odd tree then the sky, tree then sky again. There was screaming, blood curdling screams.
Everything fell silent just like that. Like nothing significant had happened. I thought I had dreamt it all. Until I felt every part of me ache and sting and burn and hurt. Until I heard a quiet moaning come from the right of me.
I nearly had a heart attack when I looked to my right. I was in a total state of shock, lying nearly upside down in a beaten up and broken car. I didn’t dare look in the back. I could only look at him. The angel faced, blonde haired boy I loved, now covered in blood; his arms and legs bent in unnatural ways.
That was the first time I threw up. That was the first time I felt cold, empty. Alone. Because I knew, I knew, that that small moan I had heard seep from his perfect lips, was the last thing I would ever hear come out of his mouth …
“Don’t let him go. He will never be forgotten. Ever,” whispered the deep voice of Liam. Tears stained my cheeks and I heard him too, suck in a deep breathe of steadying air. I clung to him like he was the last thing I could ever rely on, the last thing I could ever touch that was connected to him.
We held each other until we were both out of tears and slowly fell into unconsciousness; my mind immediately being filled with images of Niall. But not at the crash; when he was alive and happy. When he was eating everything he could get his hands on; when he laughed until he couldn’t breathe;
When he held me like I was the only thing that mattered on this earth
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OOKKAAAYYY SO THIS WAS MADE BY LITTLE RED ON WHATEVER LITTLE RED MADE IT ON
ESTÁS LEYENDO
One Direction Sad Preferences
Fanfiction*A LOT OF THESE AREN'T MINE!* I will try to write the author if I can :) If you have any short sad stories you want me to add please inbox me:) Thanks!
