His black suit is laid out on the bed but he doesn’t want to put it on. He doesn’t want to accept that this is really happening. The kids are still asleep in their rooms and he knows he’ll have to wake them soon, but why would he want that either? Why would he want to subject his angels to this miserable day?
Leaving the bedroom in his pajamas, he walks down the hall and tries not to look at the family pictures lining the walls. The man in those pictures is almost completely unrecognizable. He didn’t have the dark purple bags under his eyes. His hair was perfectly styled and his clothes immaculate. No, Niall knew he wasn’t that man. He feared he may never feel that whole again.
He heard a soft yawn coming from his son’s room. Upon entering the small blue room, he saw his little boy rubbing his eyes and stretching.
“Is it the day, daddy?” his son asked, the innocent boy not quite understanding in full what the day would mean. Niall had to fight back tears as he lifted his youngest child out of bed.
“Yes, buddy, it’s the day. Let’s get you all ready, alright?” Niall dressed his son in the black pants and black button-up shirt he had picked out the day before. He had just set him down on the floor with some Legos to keep him occupied when his daughter poked her head around the doorway.
“Daddy?” she asked, the sorrow in her voice tugging at Niall’s heart. She was a few years older than the boy, and had a better grasp on the tragedy at hand. She had already dressed in her black dress and looked beautiful, so much like her mother.
“Yes, princess. Come ‘ere,” he answered, opening his arms. She walked into them and hugged her dad tightly. She was a strong little girl, stronger than anyone would have expected. How was it that she had cried less than her father? Niall didn’t know, but he was oddly grateful. He didn’t want his children to hurt the way he did.
He left his children in his son’s room, where his daughter sat playing with her little brother. He was glad that she kept him occupied. He knew this part was going to be hard. Walking into the master bedroom he pulled the suit of the bed. Slipping out of his pajama bottoms, he pulled the perfectly pressed black suit pants on. The black shirt he put on was nearly a perfect match to his sons. His little boy had insisted on looking just like daddy today, and the memory of the boy’s gleeful smile brought a sad grin to Niall’s own face.
The only thing left to put on was his tie. Fumbling, he put it around his neck and attempted to make a decent knot. You had always tied it for him, and he was completely lost.
“Let me do it,” his daughter said. She walked over and pulled herself up onto the bed to stand at eye level with her dad. Taking the tie in her hands, she slowly tied it perfectly.
“Where’d you learn that, baby girl?” Niall asked, already knowing the answer.
“Mommy,” she replied, before jumping back down and leaving the room. She had been very different these past few months, but I guess that was to be expected. She had grown up so much and it really destroyed Niall to see the child-like joy gone from her eyes.
Niall walked into the master bathroom and turned on the sink. Splashing cold water on his face before looking into the mirror mounted on the wall, he realized that even the bathroom felt wrong. The only happiness left in the house was that of his young son. Some day he feared that would be gone too.
“Come on kids, it’s time to go!” Niall shouted. He heard the sound of their little feet hitting the hardwood. The sound made him choke up again. The sound had once been music to your ears.
Niall piled the kids into the car and took off towards the church. This was the church you had been married in. Nostalgia hit Niall like a punch in the gut as he ascended the steps leading into the high-ceilinged building.
The place was empty, but that made sense as Niall had left early. The priest made small talk with him and gave him a run down of the events that would be taking place. After some pats on the shoulder and a hand shake, Niall led the kids to the room designated for them. They were to wait until he came to get them. They got busy playing with toys and soon he pulled himself away from them.
Niall paced up and down between the pews, avoiding the front of the room like the plague. He wasn’t ready. The casket was open. He just wasn’t ready.
Family began shuffling in, and Niall knew it was time. He got his children and took them to the front pew. They sat on either side and held their father’s hands. The priest started with the traditional speech, talking about how wonderful she had been. A great mother, daughter, wife and friend. A dedicated member of the community. A few family members and friends got up and said a few words, not one getting through it without crying.
It was Niall’s turn. He stood and pulled a piece of notebook paper out of his pocket. Standing behind the podium, he looked down at the handwritten note. It was addressed with a heart.
“She wrote me this after our 3rd date. I take it with me pretty much everywhere. She told me that she wanted to keep seeing me because I made her feel beautiful and important. I just find that kind of funny I guess, because that was the way she made everyone around her feel.
I had never been in love before I met her. She opened my eyes to the world around me, the world I thought I already knew, but clearly didn’t.
She must have known how smitten I was, because she made me work for it. I felt like every hug, every kiss, every touch was the greatest prize anyone could ever receive. When she agreed to marry me, I knew no man had ever been happier than I was. But then our daughter was born. And our son. I was the luckiest man ever and I pitied every other male in the world. They would never have the great life I did.
When the doctor told us she only had a few months to live, she didn’t cry. She just held me while I did. She told me she never wanted anyone to cry for her. What could I do? I knew I was going to lose my whole world, the piece of me that made me whole.
When she left, she left a hole in my heart. I know you all feel something like that. She loved you all so much, and she told me that every chance she could. She never once let the anger she felt show or the pain. She was the strongest woman there ever was. She was the closest to perfect I knew, and the world just won’t be the same without her. I.. I won’t be the same without her.”
Niall walked back to his children.
“It’s time to say goodbye to mommy,” he said, his raspy voice almost too hard to understand. He took them by the hands and led them to the coffin. You lay there looking as beautiful as ever. Niall’s tears flowed freely as his children squeezed his hands. You son still didn’t quite know what was happening, but your daughter did. She still didn’t cry, knowing someone had to be strong.
After everyone had said their goodbyes, they headed to the cemetery. The burial site was beautiful, the best Niall could get for you. It was surrounded by trees. Everyone from the church came to watch your coffin get lowered into the ground. Just before your coffin reached the bottom, the clouds opened up and it began to rain.
As the rained poured, Niall looked at his daughters face. She was obviously crying now, probably thinking the rain would disguise her tears. He pulled her close and held his two children tightly. The three of them dropped roses onto the coffin before the dirt was shoveled on.
Niall had no idea how he would go on with you, but knew he had to for your beautiful children.
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One Direction Sad Preferences
Fanfiction*A LOT OF THESE AREN'T MINE!* I will try to write the author if I can :) If you have any short sad stories you want me to add please inbox me:) Thanks!
