German Boy

Chapter 29: Confess

All night after the ball, I've only been thinking of one thing: Ven's turn for our agreement. I don't know what he actually wants from me. but knowing him, he doesn't do anything without getting in return from me, given the fact that he is way too competitive.

So, it makes me stay up at night, and think of what he might want to do to me, or should I say, with me? and finally, the night has ended. But still, all I have in my mind is the question why did he agree to go to the prom with me? I don't want to rely on false hope. But when it comes to Ven's false hopes, they're realistic. I smiled, just when I caught him walking towards our door, about to knock.

In the first place, I knew that he would go here. Ven is not just someone who will let things pass by. He always thinks that he will get what he deserves. Logical, for me. Therefore, I did what I can to make myself look gorgeous. Not like how the real me looks like who didn't get enough sleep last night.

It's him and will always be him: The reason why I'm trying so hard to be a grown girl. A woman.

"Jaraiah, Ven's looking for you," Luckily, I was done putting my false eyelashes. I went down the stairs and walked out the door with Ven. Of course, I did the usual. I pretended that I don't get butterflies in my stomach every time he looks at me and everything stops when he calls my name.

Honestly, I don't know what to do if ever he would end up figuring out that I like him. But a part of me always wants him to know it. "Okay, so tell me about it!" I know he knows what I'm talking about. But he didn't reply. He just smiled while looking at me. I hate it when he does that. It proves that he has the power to take over my feelings.

"Come on, speak! I quit summer class for this piece of crap! This better be worth it!" I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes.

I heard him chuckle.

"You did what?"

Wait a minute, what did I just say? Oh yeah, crap. I just told him that I quit summer class for him. The heck? It seems like I gave up a huge thing just to spend this summer with him. It is not cool.

"You were really nice to save me from a lot of boys inviting me to be my date, so, I decided to give my best in whatever you want to get in return." Wow. Where did those words come from? The bottom of the world, I guess.

"It's not a favor, actually. Well, close to it. but, I just want to tell you something that I can't tell anyone else so I want you to keep quiet and never tell anyone who asks you."

Ven, comfortable with me? Did he just say he's going to tell me something that he can tell no one but me? So, does that mean that he trusts me? This is yet another false hope.

"Alright, what is it?" We ended up sitting on the bench beside their house as we watched the birds fly from the trees beside it the moment that we sat in that place.

I don't know why, but the way he looked at me made me more nervous. It's not that it gives butterflies in my stomach anymore. It's more like his eyes, though smiling, sends chills to my bones. Because they're serious. And are telling me they want to tell me something so bad. Before speaking, he scanned me with those ocean eyes from head to toe, then he shook his head, which made me frown and wonder why he is acting this way. As if he believes that I am not real.

Then, he took a deep breath. And surprisingly, held my hand. I frowned more when he began rubbing it, then he smiled. not a friendly smile, a sad one. And his smiling eyes earlier, quickly turned into puppy eyes all of a sudden.

"Jaraiah, I know this is you. The Jaraiah Jace Carpenter I know. The one who has been very friendly and nice to me ever since we were six years old, and the girl who's very academically oriented. You're the girl who doesn't like to date anyone. Someone who prefers to read books and listen to Taylor Swift rather than go out to parties. But with your behavior right now, you're triggering my disorder."

Disorder? Did I hear him say the right word? I was focused on his fingers rubbing my hands but my eyes widened the moment I heard him say the word disorder.

"Disorder? W-what disorder? I... I didn't know y-you have one." I was speechless but tried my best not to be. "You never told me."

"Jaraiah, I have Capgras Syndrome, and I don't why I'm telling you this though I don't believe it's really you." I didn't understand a thing he said. Yes, the words are understandable. But no, I don't know why he is saying these things.

"W-wait, I- I don't understand, Ven. W-what's that Capgras thingy?"

I wondered if it was the delusion of grass with a cap in your mind since he mentioned it was a disorder. And I wish that it truly is that simple.

"It is a rare disease that only a few people have. And I am one of them. It is where you have this strong belief and instinct that people close to you are replaced by impostors."

Capgras Syndrome- A rare disease that only a few people have which is according to Ven is the state of having a strong belief and instinct that people close to you are replaced by impostors.

That's weird.

Weirdest thing I've heard.

Does that thing even exist? Or he's just messing with me? Either way, I don't like this.

"I don't know. I don't want to think this way of you but I can't do anything at all. It's here. Every time I see you wear makeup, go to parties, or get dressed, my disorder functions. I always end up thinking that you are not real. You're an impostor, and I always get this urge to look for the real Jaraiah, as if she has been kidnapped and sold to some sort of a mafia group. I've been wanting to investigate from the previous days that I've been seeing you like this but I try to stop myself because I trust you. I know it's just puberty that's hitting you right now, but sometimes, when I look at you, I get delusions like, what if it's not my disorder, what if you're not really her? But I don't want to believe my mind."

I began realizing that he was not joking when I saw a teardrop fall from his eyes.

Should I be mad that he looks at me like I'm an impostor and I replaced myself?

Or should I be mad at the world for giving him a disorder like this when there are almost eight billion people in the world?

This is the first time that I saw him cry. And it makes me feel bad for him.