German Boy

Chapter 31: After This Summer

I still can't believe everything that happened yesterday. Were they all just yesterday? If so, then why does it feel like they happened several years ago? As if they are memories that I don't really own.

The confession.

His situation.

His disorder.

The kiss.

The I love you's.

And most of all, the emotions.

How did they happen? How is it possible that a disease where you would suddenly suspect your loved ones as impostors can possibly be diagnosed in a guy who did nothing but be good in the previous years of his life?

I also can't believe it. All this time that I was trying to change for the better. For him to look at me as a woman, he has been suspecting me as an impostor? Out of all these confusions, there's only one thing I need to clear out: That I love you. Because I don't know if he said it as an assurance, telling me that he loves me so much the way he might know I love him. Or if he's trying to confirm his feeling.

Was that a statement? Or a question.

I want to tell Sofia everything about it. About how I feel, how confused I am, and how much I wish everything that happened yesterday, was just a dream. Even if it means that in real life, Ven didn't really kiss me, or confessed his love for me. As long as it justifies that he doesn't really have that Capgras syndrome thing.

But I can't tell her a word. Because I might break Ven's trust. Which is currently being broken by himself. I want to tell her about the kiss. Because ever since then, I have already told her about everything that happened between me and Ven. Even the smallest interactions we've had since I was six years old. But this one, as the greatest interaction we've ever had, might get rusted in my memories. No one will know.

If I tell her, she would ask me how did it happen. And of course, I will end up saying the fact that he just confessed to a rare disorder he's going through. That thing is so messed up. For Pete's sake, Sofia wasn't born yesterday. Well, even if she was, she's still not that easy to fool. And when I'm already telling her the entire story, I know that I won't be able to control myself. And in the end, I won't be able to filter my words. What a funny thing, not really when it's about to happen in my real life.

I put down the book I was reading for three hours now and left a bookmark on its 16th chapter. I've been reading the same paragraph of Colleen Hoover's It Ends with Us over and over again. Because I couldn't understand a thing. My mind is completely drawn from yesterday. I keep thinking about Ven.

"Come in!" I said as I looked at the door after hearing someone knock on it. A few seconds later, a guy marched in.

"Uncle Jerry! Hi!" I greeted. He just smiled at me and walked towards the chair where I was sitting as he kissed me on the cheek. Then he took the chair in front of me. "How was the book tour?" I asked.

"Great, think I just met your future aunt." I frowned in shock.

"You're dating someone?" Uncle's not the kind of guy who goes on date a lot. Not to deny how good-looking he is in his mid-thirties. He's thirty-four. And as far as I know, he only dated four girls in his entire life. He used to tell me that he thought dating doesn't make sense. Because in his observations, and in the books he read and wrote, the ones we date, aren't the ones we end up with. What did this girl have in her that changed his thoughts?

"Is it considered dating if we only met and interacted once?" I don't know if I should take that sarcastically. Was that a joke or a serious question? Despite the seriousness on his face, I still laughed.

"Why don't you begin dating her then?"

"How? I don't have her phone number, her social media accounts, or her name! I don't even know her name!" He calmly ranted.

I shook my head while laughing. "Why didn't you try to get it?"

"I... I don't know... maybe I was just, you know... shy?"

I guess that's one thing I got from him. Being too shy to admit that I like someone. Not shy actually. The appropriate word is scared.

"Shy or scared?"

"Both," this guy is hopeless.

I decided to change the topic.

"Okay, so, what was the best country?"

"Netherlands,"

"How come?"

"That's where she lives." I rolled my eyes. He really likes her a lot. His brain is focused on her. Lucky girl. She will get to be loved by a guy who never really loved other girls before except by his mom, me, and my mom. Who is his sister.

"Oh, whatever," I said, shaking my head.

"This copy is for you!" He said and handed me a book.

The one he gave me, where my life was written, is still on my shelf. I read it last week. And not going to lie, it was awesome! Even the most embarrassing moments of my life were written there. He knows it because my mom and I used to live with him in his house with my grandmother for fifteen years. When I was sixteen, my mom and I left when we had our own house built from the money she made. But from time to time, Uncle Jerry still visits me.

It's his newest book which became a massive hit a week after it was released. I haven't read it yet, so I can't judge if it deserves the amount of recognition it gets. But just with the cover, the book is already attractive. It is the kind of book we see in bookstores, displayed on a shelf with everyone's attention on it. His name is at the bottom of it, and above that, was the statement: From the New York Times bestselling author. Then there was the title: After This Summer.

It made me smile and stop for a moment.

After this summer.

After this summer.

After this summer.

I repeated the same words in my head over and over.

What will happen after this summer?

What will happen to me and him, after this summer?