Then and Now: Always yours

Chapter Eleven

Alice - Now

I rushed across the street as I checked my watch, 9.37am. I really was late today. As I hurriedly entered the building, I rushed past Claire's office and was relieved to find it empty. I was just about to reach to open the door of my studio when it opened before me and a stressed looking Liv stood with a armful of folders clutched against her chest.
"Alice! Where have you been? Claire is on the war path this morning, it's the worst day for you to be late" she frowned as she stepped aside to let me pass.
"I know, I'm sorry but it's just been one of those mornings. I got to bed late and then this morning my alarm didn't go off" I mumbled as I made my way to my desk to find my computer already booted up.
"You know Alice if spending time with your boyfriend is going to interfere with our work schedule then maybe this isn't the right fit after all" Jackson's stern voice caught my attention and I spun around to see him stood in the far corner. I hadn't noticed him when I'd come in, I was in such a hurry. I frowned in confusion at his words. Boyfriend?
"Er sorry, I can assure you I take my work very seriously. My personal life won't interfere" I found myself wanting to justify my lateness but I didn't need to explain myself to Jackson of all people. I didn't owe him anything.
"Well that's not what it looks like to me, I'm paying a lot of money for your services and I expect you to be here on time" he seemed angry. What was his problem!
"You're right I'm sorry, it won't happen again" I apologised feeling like a naughty schoolgirl. I expect this had something to do with our kiss yesterday.
"How did you get on last night Jackson?" Liv asked clearly trying to diffuse the tension that had built up in the room. She smiled at me and placed a coffee on my desk. I could hug her right now, I was in serious need of a caffeine fix. I mouthed a quick thank you as I returned my attention to Jackson.
"You came back to the studio?" I questioned. I wasn't told about this, although that hardly surprised me. Liv knew I was busy last night.
"Yeah, I had a moment of creativity and decided to come back here and lay down a few ideas. I saved them on your computer, hope that's okay?" He asked as his gaze studied my reaction. He'd been on my computer. I mean I guess that was okay if he was just saving his work. I just hope he hadn't gone snooping through my personal files.

We got to work listening through his latest ideas and me adding in some of my own touches. The awkwardness of the morning soon disappeared and once again we found the day had flown by and before I knew it the afternoon was upon us. I looked up when the studio door opened and I was met by my blue eyed, sandy haired boy.
"Mum!" He called as he raced over to see me. I nervously looked towards Jackson who's eyes were fixed on my son.
"Hey, sweetie what are you doing here? Where's Anna?" I asked whilst trying to keep the smile on my face.
"Hey Alice, sorry he insisted on swinging by for a quick hello before we head for pizza down the street" Anna my childminder explained as she appeared in the empty doorway. This is something that they did on occasion but I'd been very clear that I was busy this week and I hadn't expected an impromptu visit whilst Jackson was around.
I retuned my gaze to Jackson again. He was still watching our exchange, an expression of pure shock on his face.
"Hi, I'm Sam" my heart ached as I watched my son reach out his hand and offer a formal introduction. He always had been slightly quirky like that. Jackson regained his composure and shook his open hand
"Sam, that's a strong name" he replied as his gaze studied Sam intently.
"We'll actually my full name is Samson but I kind of prefer Sam" he chirped before walking back towards Anna who stood waiting by the door. Jackson's gaze fell on mine, his expression unreadable.
"Nice to meet you, see you later mum" he smiled before he headed out of the room. I felt sick, I never intended for this to happen. Sam deserved so much more than that and so did I.
"How old is he?" Jackson's harsh tone caught me off guard.
"Excuse me!" I retorted in anger. He knew damn well how old he was.
"Alice I swear to god you better explain this to me right now" he was practically trembling in anger and Liv stood between us looking completely lost.
"You know how old he is Jackson. Just because you decided not to be in our lives doesn't mean you get to act like this now" I spat back with tears brimming my eyes.
"WHAT THE FUCK ALICE" his voice boomed through the studio. "You don't think I have a right to know that I have a son" he stepped closer to me and I could feel the waves of anger coming off him.
"The right to know! Jackson I was completely honest with you! It was you who didn't want him, you who didn't want me! You left" my professional demeanour was long gone. How dare he speak to me this way after what he'd put me through.
"You told me to leave! You didn't want me" he shouted back as I paced up and down trying somehow to calm myself down.
"When did I say that? Jackson you were my whole world! But clearly your career was more important to you because you sent Sasha to tell me you'd made your choice!" My tears flowed freely down my face as I spoke "you didn't even care enough to tell me to my face! You think just because you told her to tell me that you didn't want me or a baby that I would do as you said and get rid of it!" I screamed hysterically.
"You're talking shit and you know it! You're the one who told Sasha you wanted me to leave and that you didn't want a child, you told her you were having an abortion and that seeing me was too much of a bad reminder of it" he ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
"I never said that. I'd never say that. Jackson I loved you. I only let you leave because you didn't want me or the baby" I slumped down on the sofa in defeat. Did he really not know about Sam? It wasn't possible.
He let out a long sigh "Alice I don't know what's going on here but I didn't say those things. I would never have left you and our child" his blue eyes looked at me, they looked conflicted as if part of him wanted to comfort me and the other part wanted to shout at me some more. Just then the door opened again and in walked Claire and Sasha
"Ah lovely, Alice this is Sasha, Jackson's manager-" before she could finish her introduction something came over me and I was off the sofa and heading over to Sasha. I needed the truth.