Then and Now: Always yours

Chapter seventeen

Jackson - Now

She held onto me so tightly and I welcomed her comfort. I need it, needed her. "He must of hated me, you hate me" I sobbed through our embrace
"I don't hate you. I could never hate you" she soothed in my ear as we slowly pulled away our eyes fixed on one another. As we looked into each others eyes it was as if electricity filled the air. Before I could stop myself I reached my hand up to tuck away a stray hair behind her ear. She leaned down slightly above me as I sat on the armchair. My gaze moved to her lips and hers to mine. I don't know which one of us made the move first but our mouths soon crashed down onto one another's and it was like a light switch had been turned on inside me. I could taste her salty tears through our frantic kiss and I wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her closer to me. She was soon straddling my lap as our brutal kiss continued. I moved my lips to her exposed neck as I felt her take a much needed gasp of air. Her hands fell to my hair, she always had a thing about my hair, I relished the feeling of her fingers running through it. My hands moved down to cup her ass as my mouth moved further down her chest. I gave her butt a little squeeze and she responded by moving her hands to my belt buckle. This was really happening. I returned my kisses to her face, our eyes locked onto each other once again. No words were spoken. We both knew what we wanted, what we needed. Her hands made quick work of my belt and jeans as I wrapped my arms around her and stood up from the chair carrying her over to the sofa. I gently led her out below me as my hands traveled up her smooth legs and under her dress to find the soft lace of her underwear. She lifted her legs as I slowly removed her lace panties. Our gaze never broke from each other as I positioned myself between her legs she pulled me down on top of her. I briefly closed my eyes and the sheer pleasure I felt as I entered her. God I'd forgotten how good she felt. She pulled my lips back down to hers and our urgent and desperate kisses took over once again. Our bodies moved in sync as we found our rhythm, it had been years but I knew her body well and we both knew exactly what they other needed. I knew I wouldn't last long but I had a feeling she wouldn't either. Her hands were back in my hair as she pulled at it, her soft moans filled the air and it almost sent me over the edge right then are there. I picked up the pace, letting my body take over as we moved frantically with each other as if desperate to get closer some how. I moved my hand down to her bundle of nerves and began rub her there whilst our bodies continued to move in sync. I felt her insides tighten around me, a feeling I used to know all too well.
"Jackson...I'm...going to..." her strangled words were cut off by her orgasm rocking through her body. Her legs began to shake uncontrollably beneath me but I didn't let up. I pressed a hard kiss against her lips as I thrust into her again and again, finding my own release. Our bodies gently came to a stop as we fell still against each other. We were both clothed and sweaty but that was some of the hottest sex I'd ever had.

We regained our composure after a few minutes and I climbed off her and buckled my belt and zipper up. Her eyes caught mine and a flash of embarrassment covered her face as she retrieved her panties and put them back on. I offered her a weak smile. "I didn't mean for that"
"I know" she once again cut me off before I could finish.
"I don't regret it though" I clarified hoping she knew I hadn't just fucked her because I was upset.
"Me either, but I don't exactly know what it means. I sometimes feel like I don't always think straight when I'm around you" her honest admission surprised me. She'd been so guarded previously that I wasn't really expecting that.
"I get that. We kind of rushed into it there didn't we?" She nodded as a flush filled her cheeks again.

A sudden thought that we'd just had unprotected sex filled my mind. "Are you on any birth control?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. She looked up at me in shock. "No" she answered flatly "but you don't need to worry" she stood from the sofa and tuned to look for her bag.
"Ally, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so crass. I didn't mean for it to sound like that" I apologised hoping she knew I meant it.
"It's fine honestly Jackson. You don't need to worry about birth control. I'm not going to get pregnant, I learnt about that the hard way" her face was unreadable but something about her words didn't sit right with me.
"What do you mean? We just had sex, how do you know you won't get pregnant?" I pushed for an answer knowing there was more to the story.she looked at me with tear filled eyes.
"Because I can't. Not after Sam" I felt all the colour leave my face as I studied her broken expression.
"I haemorrhaged during labour. There were complications during the pregnancy, I had to have a hysterectomy" she spoke in almost a whisper. I stared at her in utter and total shock. She has been through so much and I had left her to do it all alone.
"I...Alice I'm so sorry" I stammered
"Don't be. It got me Sam. I wouldn't change it for the world. He is everything to me" she smiled as she picked up her bag and I stood on the spot still processing what she'd just told me.
"I better get home. I'm going to take a couple of days to get my head together. I need to talk to Sam. I'll be in touch" she offered me a small smile as she spoke before heading to the door.
"Alice" I called after her and she turned to have me as she stood in the open doorway "I'll do whatever I can to make this up to the two of you. I'd give it all up for you if I have to. I mean it"
She looked at me with such serious intent before turning and closing the door behind her. Why did I have a feeling that she'd just walked out of my life again.