Then and Now: Always yours

Chapter Twenty Five

Jackson - Now

I woke up with a pounding head. This always happened when I drank wine, I really ought to have known better.
I rubbed my eyes and took in my surroundings feeling slightly disoriented. Photos of Alice and same scattered the room and I realised I must have fallen asleep on her sofa last night. I sat up pulling back the soft beige blanket that was draped over me and glanced down at the coffee table. Where our wine glasses had stood last night was now replaced with a glass of water, some pills and a note. I grabbed the note and instantly recognised Alice's handwriting.

Sorry about the wine, take these when you wake up. A

I smiled to myself as I took the pills and downed the glass of water. God my head pounded. I sat back on the sofa for a few minutes contemplating what to do. Should I leave? Would she want Sam to wake up and see me here? No, probably not but at the same time having her wake up to find me gone without so much as a goodbye was not an option. I stood up and quietly made my way out of the living room, the house was silent. I slowly edged down the hall way where I could see a door slightly ajar, maybe it was an office or something, I'm pretty sure the bedrooms where upstairs and I knew better than to bound up there without being invited.
I approached the door and peeked through the gap but the room was too dark to make anything else. It was pretty clear no one was in here but something got the best of me and I found myself pushing the door open further. As light from the hallway filled the small room I could see it was an office/studio of some sort. Walls were filled with music paraphernalia, a large desk and computer equipment took up the space against one of the walls. I spotted a framed photo on the desk and tears instantly built up in my eyes. I walked in further and with shaky hands picked up the wooden frame and studied the picture. It was a young teenage couple embraced in a hug. Not just any hug. The kind where you are so happy that you can't help but jump into someone's arms and hold each other so tightly that nothing else matters. You couldn't see our faces, my back was to the camera and hers was buried in my shoulder. If you didn't know us back then, you'd have no idea this was a photo of me and Alice. This was the moment I'd just received the call from Sasha's dad telling me I was being offered a record deal. Alice had been with me and I remember her joy so clearly. She was so happy for me. I had no clue someone had caught this moment in camera. But I was glad they did.
"Penny took that"  her voice caught me completed off guard and I stepped back almost dropping the frame I had clutched in my hands.
"Sorry I didn't mean to startle you" she apologised as she edged into the room and studied my face. She was probably wondering what the hell I was doing snooping around her house.
"Uhh, sorry I....I was just looking" I stumbled on my words, suddenly feeling guilty for my invasion of her privacy.
"It's okay, I didn't want to wake you before. I had to take Sam to a friends house and you looked too peaceful so I thought it was best to leave you a while longer" she smiled at me as she took the frame from my hand and studied it. "She showed it to me after you'd left. There was something about it that made me want to keep it" she smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"It's a great picture" I kept my gaze on her as I spoke. She looked upset as she studied it. "Do you mind me asking why you kept it? It seems to make you a little sad?" I asked softly as I watched her return the photo to its position on her desk. She turned and wiped a stray tear that had escaped.
"Because this was the last happy memory I had of us. This was how I wanted to remember us. I was so happy for you, so proud" she smiled up at me.
"Then the following day my world came crashing down"
The guilt hit me as I remembered the day in question. It was hard on both of us. Our biggest test. One that we both failed.
"Alice I'm so sorry. I should never have left like that. I should of at least demanded to speak to you first instead of believing Sasha" I pulled her into my chest and just held her. She didn't fight it. She held me back and I reached down and kissed the top of her head. Something I used to do and it felt so natural. I felt her tense up and she pulled away.
"We can't, I'm sorry" she mumbled as she took a step back
"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I know it's not what you want" I looked at her with a pained expression.
"That's the thing. It is what I want" her eyes fell on mine as they shone with emotion and I took a step closer to her as she took another one back.
"Alice" I pleaded with her but she shook her head.
"I'm sorry, I can't, I can't do this"
And I stood and watched as she turned and left me.