Then and Now: Always yours

Chapter Thirty

Alice - Then

I'm sorry Alice, he's gone. He left on a flight this morning with my dad. He wanted me to tell you how sorry he was but that it was all too much. He didn't want this life for himself, nor for you. He doesn't want you to keep the baby and he thinks the best thing for you both is a clean break, a fresh start.

Sasha's words played over and over in my head as the tears rolled down my cheeks. How could he do this. Just up and leave without even so much as a goodbye. I picked up my phone in my shaking hands and dialled his number for what felt like the hundredth time. Voicemail.

He was avoiding me. Maybe it was true. He didn't want me anymore. I was alone, me and our baby were alone.

************

Almost six months had passed and still no word from Jackson. He never returned any of my calls and eventually I gave up trying. As I sat on a bench outside of the hospital with the brisk wind blowing around me, I pulled my coat closer around my growing bump. I wiped the tears from my eyes as I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts. My finger hovering over a number for a few seconds whilst I built up the courage to call. I hit the call button and waited with bated breath until I heard the ringer. This was a good sign at least the phone was ringing.

Hi you've reached Sasha, I can't take your call right now. Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.

I let out a sigh as I listened to Sasha's voicemail. I was hoping that she would be able to put me in touch with Jackson. I had long given up on calling him, I was pretty sure he'd blocked my number. I waited for the beep to sound before leaving her a message.

"Hi Sasha, it's Alice. I've been trying to get hold of Jackson. I need to talk to him about something important. Can you please ask him to call me back when you next see him. Please. I really need him"

I ended the call before I got myself to choked up with emotion. I was still so angry at him for leaving me like he did but this was his baby too and he deserved to know about the complications that were going on. I needed him right now, I needed him to be there for me. For us.
I sat there for another few minutes before my phone beeped. It was a message from Sasha.

I'm really sorry Alice, I've tried to speak to him a million times but he just won't listen. He said he just wants to focus on his new life. I really hope you're okay, but I think maybe it's time you moved on and stopped trying to contact him x

My heart dropped as I read the message. The pain of him leaving hit me all over again. This was really what my life was going to be like. Alone with a baby, if things went okay. If they didn't my baby could end up being completely alone.