Then and Now: Always yours

Chapter Twenty Seven

Alice - Now

It had been two days since my evening with Jackson. I'd started to let him back in and I was kicking myself for it. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. Part of me was thankful that he hadn't called but then part of me wondered why he hadn't. Had it all been an act? Had he changed his mind? I went over and over things in my head. Our past, how he left. How I believed the lies.

Deep down I knew he wasn't to blame for the way things had played out with us in the past. We'd both been lied to by someone we trusted, him especially had trusted Sasha more than anyone over the years. He had a relationship with her, had he loved her?

I shook the thoughts from my head and a knock on my office door distracted me from my thoughts. "Come in" I called whilst brushing my hands through my hair as if that would remove the negative thoughts from my head.
I looked up to be greeted by none other but the source of those thoughts. Jackson.

"Hey, sorry to drop in like this, I was going to call first but wasn't sure if you'd pick up" he spoke sheepishly.

"Why wouldn't I pick up?" I replied bluntly, not meaning to sound so harsh.

"After the other night, and morning at yours. I was worried I upset you, I was trying to give you some space" his eyes studied me carefully gauging my reaction to what he was saying.

"Really? I thought you'd just ran away again" I knew I was being w first class bitch but I couldn't help it. I watched as hurt spread across his face and felt instantly guilty for my harsh words but I couldn't bring myself to take down those walls. Walls I'd put up over the years.

"Alice please, I thought we'd talked things through? You know I would never have left if I had known the truth. Please tell me you believe me?" He edged closer towards me, his eyes shinning with emotion as they looked into mine. I felt my anger dissolving as I looked at him and his broken expression. I got up from my desk and without thinking about it I rushed over to him and threw myself into his arms. I felt his body tense in surprise for a split second before relaxing and returning my embrace. I didn't speak. I couldn't. I just stood there and let him hold me and he did the same.

"I never stopped loving you Jackson, all these years. It's always been you and probably always will be" I sniffled into his chest "I wish I could turn back the clock for us, to change things, to not believe her lies. Things could be so different for us now" I sobbed.

"Shhh, I know baby. I wish I could too. But I'm here, I want to be here for you and Sam. Alice it tore me apart thinking you didn't love me anymore, I will never feel about anyone the way I feel for you" he brushed his hand on the side of my face, wiping my tears away. "Just let me in a baby, let me love you" he begged.

"I'm scared" I admitted as I tore my eyes away from his "I'm scared you'll leave again, you're a freakin rockstar Jackson. How do me and Sam fit into that?"

"We can figure it out together. But Alice please know that I'll do whatever it takes to be with you and Sam. I'd give it all up, I'll move back from the states, I'll spend everyday for the rest of my life making this right. Letting you know that I love you"

"I can't ask you to do all that for us" I cried. He looked at me with a smile

"But your not. It's me, I want to. I chose you Alice. All you have to do is let me"