Gone.

Chapter 3.

Craig. . .

I put Christian to bed, ignoring all his questions about his mother. I stayed up all night on the couch and thought of how I could track these men down. I wanted them to die by the end of this week and trust me, I could make that happen if I put my mind to it.

My phone interrupted my thoughts. I glanced down and saw Ray's name across my screen. I weakly tapped the talk button and pressed the phone against my ear.

"Craig?" Ray answered.

"Yeah. ." I trailed.

"I heard what happened. You good?" He asked. Was I good?

"Ray, my wife just died. No, I'm not good. I'm sad, confused, pissed. . . I'm not okay, man." I said, placing my hand on my forehead. I was trying hard not to cry again.

"It's gonna be okay, man. She's in a better place now." He comforted.

No. . . She was better here with me and Christian.

"I swear, Ray, when I find out who did this, they'll burn in hell. I swear they will." I said, through clenched teeth.

"I'll help you do that too. Shit, Ashley was like my sister. We grew up together. . . They'll get theirs."

I suddenly heard Christian crying from upstairs. I glanced up at the stairs, "Aye, I gotta go check on Christian. . . I'll talk to you later."

"Aight."

I sat my phone down on the coffee table, making my way to the stairs. Christian's cries grew louder and he was sobbing uncontrollably. I walked into his room, to find him sitting up in his bed, tears streaming down his face.

"Chris, what's wrong?" I asked, sitting on the edge of his race car bed, rubbing his back gently.

He ignored my question, continuing to sob. I pulled him into my arms and began to cry myself. I knew he missed his mom and didn't know where she was. . . He wanted her and I couldn't give her to him. Seeing him hurt like this made my heart break even more.

"Why? Why did you take her? God please. I can't go on without her." I sobbed, holding Christian tightly in my arms.

At that point, I just wanted Ashley to walk through Christian's door and say "Surprise!" Or something to make me smile. Images of her ran through my mind; When we met each other for the first time, we went on our first date, our first kiss, first time we made love, our wedding day, and the day she had Christian.

I couldn't take it.

But I need to stop crying. Ashley would never want me to be upset.

I wiped my face and looked at Christian, "It's okay. Shhh, stop crying Chris."

"I want my mommy!" He sobbed.

"Chris, stop." I said, trying to hold him in my arms while he squirmed. "I want my mommy! Mommy! Let go of me! Mommy! Mommmmmmy!" He cried.

"Stop!" I held him.

He cried at the top of his lungs, "MOMMMMMY! I WANT MOMMMY!"

I gave up, letting him jump out of my arms. He ran out of his room, leaving me sitting on his bed. I rubbed my forehead and sighed deeply, standing up and walking out the room. Christian was in the room I shared with Ashley, calling for her.

"Chris!" I said sternly, my voice slightly cracking from the tears.

He ignored me and continued to search. He looked in the closet, noticing all of her things. Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "Mommy! I don't wanna play no more!" He cried.

I walked over to him, picking him up into my arms again but he refused. He kicked, squirmed, cried and even hit.

"Stop! Chris, stop!" I yelled and he finally gave up, but he continued to cry.

All he wanted was his mother. . . .

I eventually put Christian back down for his nap again. He slept peacefully, but I knew he was still upset just as much as I was. I walked out of his room, leaning my back against the wall in the hallway. I honestly didn't know what to do or even think.

My wife was dead. . .

What now? How was I supposed to go on without her? In all the years that we've been together, I never thought I'd lose her like this. We both always dreamed of us growing old together and watching Christian grow up into a man. We always dreamed that we'd have grandchildren one day. . .

But now what?

Those dreams didn't exist anymore. It's crazy how one decision can change your whole life. . . One small decision and everything in your future could change. Crazy right?

I blame myself mostly. If I had just went in despite her telling me not to, things would be different right now. She would still be here and everything would be fine. . . Right?

I cupped my face in my hands, sighing heavily as everything dawned on me. This was all really happening. . . Ashley was never coming back and there was nothing I could do about it.

~

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- McKenzie.