Gone.

Chapter 6.

Enjoy loves!

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Prod

I woke up the next morning, feeling worse than I did before. I could barely get any sleep. Christian was still over my mom's house so I could get some time to think.

I killed a man last night.

He died because of me.

Flashbacks of last night keep replaying in my head. The way the knife went easily through his skin, making him gasp for air. I never knew it would be that easy. The look on his face was stuck in my mind. His eyes watered, while his bottom lip quivered. When he took his last breath, his whole body stopped moving completely and his body turned a light shade of pale.

Damn.

I looked over at my alarm clock, sitting on the nightstand next to my bed.

8:45 AM. Why am I up so early?

I got out of bed, making my way to the bathroom. I stripped out of my clothes, turning on the shower. I stood under the faucet, letting the scorching hot water run over my head.

I miss YN so much. I missed everything about her. Her voice, her eyes, her smell, everything. I missed holding her. We've known each other since we were in middle school. And to not have her here anymore, killed me every single day.

Once I finished, I stepped out, walking back into my room. I got dressed quickly, sitting on my bed. My phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Wassup Prod. You aight?" Roc asked.

"Yeah. I'm good." I said, messing with my cartilage piercing.

"You going to YN's funeral today?" He asked.

I wanted to go but I didn't want to see her like that. But then again, I had no choice.

"Yeah. At 10?" I asked.

"Yeah. The guys are coming too." He said, sighing deeply.

"Okay." I said, not really sure of what else to say.

"You bringing Chris?" He asked.

Should I?

"I don't know, man. I don't think he's ready for that." I said, shaking my head.

"Just think about what's best for him." Roc said.

"Aight. I'll see you later." I said. "Aight bro. Keep ya head up." He said.

I hung up, setting my phone down on my bed. I was nervous, shaky and confused. I killed a man last night and now I have to face YN's lifeless body today and finally accept the fact that she's never coming back.

I gathered my things, making my way downstairs to leave. I locked the door behind me. I got into my car, making my way to my mom's house.

On the way, I passed the corner store that the incident happened. There were flowers and teddy bears in front of the store. Pictures of YN on the windows and crosses. I turned my attention back to the road.

I pulled up to my mom's house, stepped out and walked to the door. I dug in my pocket for the key, opening the door.

"Ma?" I called out.

"I'm upstairs!" She said.

I walked up the stairs, approaching her room. She was helping Christian put on his small tie. He turned to me and smiled.

"Hi daddy." He said.

"Hey little man." I said, walking up to the both of them.

My mom had on a black dress, with matching heels and a black hat. She looked calm. "You okay, ma?" I asked, gently rubbing her back.

"I'm fine." She said, quietly.

"We got on the same outfit, daddy." Chris said, smiling. "Yeah." I said.

"Ray's mother called. She said she wants to see you. Myles' mother called too." My mom said.

"After the funeral?" I asked.

"Yeah." She said, standing up. Christian jumped off the bed, running towards me. I picked him up in my arms, kissing the top of his head. I pulled my mom into a hug.

"I know you miss her, Craig. But just stay strong today. I don't want you out here doing something stupid." She said, calling me by my first name, making sure I knew she was serious.

"Yes ma'am." I said.

"Let's get going. It's almost time." She said, walking downstairs. I followed behind her, carrying Christian in my arms. We walked to the car. I put Chris in his car seat while my mom put a few of his toys in the backseat. We both made our way to the front, me in the passenger seat and her in the drivers.

We pulled off.

"You know what you're going to say at the funeral?" My mom asked.

"I mean, I haven't really practiced nothing. I didn't want to speak." I said, truthfully.

She glanced over to me then back to the road, "And why not?" She asked. I knew this was coming.

"Because.. Ma, I can't handle that. Okay? I just can't." I said, looking straight ahead.

"Yes you can. I taught you to be strong no matter what happens right?" She asked. "Yes ma'am." I said.

"Then you be strong. From now on, you have to be twice as strong. You have Christian to take care of, all by yourself." She said.

"I know." I said.

"Daddy, can I get some juice." Christian asked from the back seat. I turned to look at him, "I'll get you some juice when we get there, okay?"

"Okay." He said.

"You have to be strong for him." She said. "I will." I said.

We pulled up to the church. There were cars parked all up the street. I could see family members of YN walking into the church, some crying, others not. We parked.

I grabbed Christian from the backseat, putting him down next to me. I grabbed his hand as we made our way into the church. Many people came up to me, sending their condolences. I appreciated all of them.

My mom, my dad, Christian, YN's sister, Tammy, Roc, Ray, Prince, Myles, Jacob, YN's mom and dad, and I all sat in the first row.

The church quieted down when the pastor came up to the podium. "Today we are here to send one of our beloved persons away, so that she can join God in the heavens above."

While he talked, all I could think about was the night it happened. How YN looked up at me, with tears in her eyes, blood slowly running out of her body. How I held her tightly in my arms, making sure that I was the last person she saw. Just watching her life fade away and me being helpless..

The pastor said a beautiful speech about YN. Everyone around me cried while I tried so hard to hold it in.

"YN was a loving wife, mother, daughter, sister and beloved friend to many people in this very room. Now, would her husband, Craig like to say a few words?" He asked, causing everyone to look at me.

I stood up, making my way to the podium.

Well this is it..

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- McKenzie.